I'm watching the Celtics game, half asleep when Nexa calls me.
Nexa: I can't sleep, my self defense class is weirding me out.
Me: Humba lunk?
Nexa: Were you asleep?
Me: No, no, watching the game. What's freaking you out about it?
Nexa: It's making me kind of paranoid. I'm all alone here with Hannah.
Me: Well you know, the odds of some random person breaking into your house are infinitesimally small.
Nexa: I know that, I just thought I'd call instead of thinking about it.
This commercial airs during a time out.
Me: Hey, this "Strangers" movie looks really creepy!
Nexa: ....
Nexa: Thanks for helping.
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Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Isn't that why you're allowed to have 17 handguns hidden strategically around your house?
I'd feel safe. Kind of.
I'd feel safe. Kind of.
Isn't that why you're allowed to have 17 handguns hidden strategically around your house?
I rig all the doors and windows with claymores. Guns are for pussies.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Why not just have a rig of laser sensors that trigger grenades at the windows and doors and land mines in the garden?
Claymore vs handgun seems unworkable unless you have the element of surprise and a decent run up. Even then.
You'd also need a Staw Wars set up for missiles and the like.
Claymore vs handgun seems unworkable unless you have the element of surprise and a decent run up. Even then.
You'd also need a Staw Wars set up for missiles and the like.
Foo gas. Trust me on this, foo gas is the only real answer to the home defense question.
/nods
Totem
/nods
Totem
oops wrong thread. still it's +1 to my post count.
Edited, May 28th 2008 11:26pm by ElneClare
Edited, May 28th 2008 11:26pm by ElneClare
In the place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love me and despair! -ElneClare
This Post is written in Elnese, If it was an actual Post, it would make sense.
This Post is written in Elnese, If it was an actual Post, it would make sense.
I think you're ok. I've already filled the asylumite quota for people being broken into whilst still at home for this year.
He jsut changed his plea to guilty after 1 ******** year by the way. He got 47.5 months for "attempted burglery" I figure he'll be out on parole much sooner than that.
He jsut changed his plea to guilty after 1 ******** year by the way. He got 47.5 months for "attempted burglery" I figure he'll be out on parole much sooner than that.
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He got 47.5 months for "attempted burglery"
Wow, he either had a lot of priors or a really ****** lawyer.
I figure he'll be out on parole much sooner than that.
Probably two years. Still, two years is a long time. It's unlikely he'll be spending every day in his cell carving pictures of your face into the concrete walls, and then stabbing wildly at it with a sharpened toothbrush praying for the day he can seek vengeance.
You never know, though!
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Too bad Mcauly Kalkin (Sp? Freaking Irish names) didn't use that home defense system to keep Michael Jackson from using a big black pipe of his own on Mick's a$$, Demea. Might have saved him years of therapy.
Totem
Totem
Macaulay Culkin I believe is how you spell that name.
I recommend dogs, if they don't already own one (some). If they do, they have the wrong type of dog. Can be a bit tricky to pick the right one, particularly with a child you want to have near absolute trust. Newfoundlands are a pretty solid choice - I've never met a bad one. And they are natural water rescue dogs.
The problem is they produce their own lakes from which one has to be rescued.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
yossarian wrote:
And they are natural water rescue dogs.
Unless you get a defective one... I had a Newfie/Golden Retriever mix that refused to swim.
When I'm creeped out like that there's only one way to handle it:
Turn on all the lights and TVs, close all the blinds and creep around, peeking out from behind the blinds. If you have the means I also recommend smoking some weed and hiding in a windowless bathroom or closet.
Turn on all the lights and TVs, close all the blinds and creep around, peeking out from behind the blinds. If you have the means I also recommend smoking some weed and hiding in a windowless bathroom or closet.
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Debalic wrote:
When I'm creeped out like that there's only one way to handle it:
Turn on all the lights and TVs, close all the blinds and creep around, peeking out from behind the blinds.
Turn on all the lights and TVs, close all the blinds and creep around, peeking out from behind the blinds.
How stupid is that?! If you have all the lights on they can see you but you can't see them! Blinds closed? Up or down - depending on the view location and the blinds setting you could be a sitting duck! Even still your lights on make your peeking SOOOOO obvious!
Dumbass.
Don't worry, she doesn't really depend on you for assurance.
Samira wrote:
The problem is they produce their own lakes from which one has to be rescued.
Get them used to wearing a bib.
Quote:
Unless you get a defective one... I had a Newfie/Golden Retriever mix that refused to swim.
Most Newfie's will automagically rescue. Most of the others can be trained to. I've seen them even trained to pull carts.
They aren't the most "fun" dog, however. Usually very serious in public; they are at work. Great for the young kids. With older kids perhaps a more fun loving/goofy dog is preferable. I like great danes due to the low walking quota.
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