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#1 May 25 2008 at 9:35 AM Rating: Good
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I have a theory about why so few Americans have passports or visit other countries.

I suspect that the embarassment caused to USA by Shit-thick Yanqui tourists has caused your gubberment to covertly keep you on home soil until you are capable of travelling abroad without convincing the rest of the world that you're ignorant fUcktards.

Evidence:

When in London I have been asked several times for directions to places in other European Countries and been met with "So it's not walking distance from here?". I now happily give them directions to the Colosseum, the Eiffel Tower and the Parthenon (No problem. Take a left at those traffic lights and keep walking)

I've lost count of the times US Tourists in T-shirts & shorts have been declined entry to Holy sites and ranted about 'racism' or 'dumb-asses'.

This weekend an ex-Gf was cycling past Buckingham Palace on her way to work and stopped twice by US Tourists asking if the Queen will be coming out to sign autographs.

My favourite example, though, is this tale recounted recently on BBC Radio:

An American couple visited the Bodleian Library in Oxford last month and went to speak to a porter.
American Tourist: This building is amazing. Is it pre-war?
Porter: Sir, this library is pre-America.

I know from posts here that many of you have visited Europe and already knew (or took the time to find out) about the differences between USA & other countries. So where do you find these ill-educated twerps?
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#2 May 25 2008 at 9:40 AM Rating: Excellent
Nobby wrote:
So where do you find these ill-educated twerps?


Tennessee, mostly.
#3 May 25 2008 at 12:08 PM Rating: Good
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It was the same way with us when we went to Italy, except all the folks that didn't seem to know how to behave (ignored requests not to take pictures, wore short shorts to the Sistine, etc) were Asian.

In Machu Picchu, the Americans mostly napped under the trees and were very impressed by the children that all spoke English begging them to take pictures with their llamas. Then again, they may have been laying low in order to avoid soroche.
#4 May 25 2008 at 12:36 PM Rating: Good
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I was asked by an American couple once, how to get to Loogerberooga, in Lisestershire.

After a bit it turned out they were looking for Loughborough in Leicestershire.

I directed them towards Milton Keynes IIRC.


True story.
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#5 May 25 2008 at 2:42 PM Rating: Excellent
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Nobby wrote:
When in London I have been asked several times for directions to places in other European Countries and been met with "So it's not walking distance from here?". I now happily give them directions to the Colosseum, the Eiffel Tower and the Parthenon (No problem. Take a left at those traffic lights and keep walking)


Look we can't help it if you people resist progress. I mean, you've had generations to fix your crappy layout. Vegas, in a much more compressed time frame, managed to put Paris, New York, Venice, and Giza all on one convenient street.

Dumb asses.
#6 May 25 2008 at 3:12 PM Rating: Excellent
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Celcio wrote:
Vegas, in a much more compressed time frame, managed to put Paris, New York, Venice, and Giza all on one convenient street.
You may have a point. As we know from Hollywood movies, every window in Paris has a view of the Eiffel Tower.
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#7 May 25 2008 at 5:02 PM Rating: Excellent
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My favourite stupid American experience in Europe is seeing a Yankee family in the Amsterdam airport and the kids screaming that they want Taco Bell for dinner.

True Story.

Edited, May 25th 2008 7:03pm by Iamadam
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#8 May 25 2008 at 5:22 PM Rating: Excellent
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Iamadam the Shady wrote:
My favourite stupid American experience in Europe is seeing a Yankee family in the Amsterdam airport and the kids screaming that they want Taco Bell for dinner.

True Story.
What's weird about that? They're kids -- they want what's familiar and what they like, not to get dragged across the ocean on a 15 hour flight for some European taste adventure.
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#9 May 25 2008 at 5:57 PM Rating: Excellent
Our problem is that we have the opposite problem in the US.

Come to Atlanta sometime, and ask someone where Peachtree Street is.

Google Maps shall illustrate:

Google Maps wrote:

Did you mean:
Peachtree St, Lithia Springs
Peachtree St, Lithia Springs, Douglas, GA 30122
Peachtree St, Fairmount
Peachtree St, Fairmount, Gordon, GA 30139
Peachtree St, Griffin
Peachtree St, Griffin, Spalding, GA 30223
Peachtree St, Cartersville
Peachtree St, Cartersville, Bartow, GA 30120
Peachtree St, Covington
Peachtree St, Covington, Newton, GA 30014
Peachtree St, Jackson
Peachtree St, Jackson, Butts, GA 30233
Peachtree St, Newnan
Peachtree St, Newnan, Coweta, GA 30263
Peachtree St, Lagrange
Peachtree St, Lagrange, Troup, GA 30240


Edited, May 25th 2008 9:57pm by catwho
#10 May 25 2008 at 8:05 PM Rating: Good
I'm cultured enough that I can explain to my American friends why Irish people laugh at them when they say, as a "Yank", "I'm Irish too!"
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#11 May 25 2008 at 8:26 PM Rating: Good
FYI: Yankie is a terrible insult to those of us from the southern US. Call us honkies, crackers, anything but that. We reserve it as a descriptive for those above the Mason Dixon line.

It's not quite as terrible as looking at anyone of vaguely Arabic descent and referring to them as a terrorist, but it's starting along those lines to us.
#12 May 25 2008 at 8:44 PM Rating: Decent
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When I went to Amsterdam, I made sure to only show my passport to the person checking it whilst disembarking and reentering for my flight.

I tend to be a very courteous, quiet person. Suffice to say, I was the guy in the corner of all the coffee shops quietly smoking while the other blatant American tourists were babbling about how "this is the greatest place ever man!" I know I'm ignorant and unaware of many customs and etiquette rules abroad--which is why I find it advantageous to just keep my mouth shut to avoid looking like what most Europeans stereotypically think of my country people.



Edited, May 26th 2008 12:48am by Paskil
#13 May 25 2008 at 8:48 PM Rating: Decent
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Quote:
Yankie is a terrible insult to those of us from the southern US.

The south lost. You don't get to decide these things.
#14 May 25 2008 at 10:06 PM Rating: Excellent
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Of course there hasn't ever been a Euro that hasn't been anything other than highly literate and worldly sophisticated men-about-town. Uhhh, yeah. Nevermind that Brit tourist who grabbed a rattler in Yosemite Park to get a beeter look at it or that Frenchie who wandered into the bad section of Merced and nearly got greased by a bunch of Mexican Mafia gangbangers for having the nerve to ask for directions. I mean, who would ever expect bad things to happen to you at night in a place in town where every window has bars across it?

Oh yeah, let's not forget the Eye-talian who goes into the Castro District of San Francisco and makes badly pronounced anti-gay remarks to two rather beefy pole smokers. The tune-up he received at their hands (and fortunately for him not their d1cks as well) was just an appreciative gesture for all the fine work Italy has bestowed upon the world, right?

Totem
#15 May 26 2008 at 1:02 AM Rating: Good
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Totem wrote:
Of course there hasn't ever been a Euro that hasn't been anything other than highly literate and worldly sophisticated men-about-town. Uhhh, yeah. Nevermind that Brit tourist who grabbed a rattler in Yosemite Park to get a beeter look at it or that Frenchie who wandered into the bad section of Merced and nearly got greased by a bunch of Mexican Mafia gangbangers for having the nerve to ask for directions. I mean, who would ever expect bad things to happen to you at night in a place in town where every window has bars across it?

Oh yeah, let's not forget the Eye-talian who goes into the Castro District of San Francisco and makes badly pronounced anti-gay remarks to two rather beefy pole smokers. The tune-up he received at their hands (and fortunately for him not their d1cks as well) was just an appreciative gesture for all the fine work Italy has bestowed upon the world, right?

Oh my sweet naive Nubian. Under our Darwin's Treaty, any European who fails a basic IQ test is either recruited into the military or sent to USA to expedite their demise. Simon Cowell is a case in point.
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#16 May 26 2008 at 1:50 AM Rating: Decent
Cat wrote:
FYI: Yankie is a terrible insult to those of us from the southern US. Call us honkies, crackers, anything but that. We reserve it as a descriptive for those above the Mason Dixon line.

It's not quite as terrible as looking at anyone of vaguely Arabic descent and referring to them as a terrorist, but it's starting along those lines to us.


Europeans, the English & Irish especially, calling us "Yankees" and/or "Yanks" pre dates the Civil War by a couple hundred years.

This would be akin to calling them "Brits" and/or "Mick's".

"Ya'll" were Yankees too.
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#17 May 26 2008 at 5:31 AM Rating: Good
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Frankly, the South deserves to be insulted.
#18 May 26 2008 at 6:38 AM Rating: Excellent
Say that the next time you apply to NASA and get turned down cuz you're not smart enough. :P
#19 May 26 2008 at 6:52 AM Rating: Excellent
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catwho, pet mage of Jabober wrote:
Say that the next time you apply to NASA and get turned down cuz you're not smart enough. :P
It's funny because on Jan 5th, 2004...
The Glorious Atomicflea wrote:
My dad works for NASA, and according to whatever I didn't filter out during dinner this weekend, it's a huge deal, since we've landed 3 times on Mars but failed 7, and this is the first craft (Spirit) equipped with super-cool robots looking for water, hydrocarbons, and other evidence of life. Another one is going to the other side of Mars on the 24th. (Opportunity)

That, and the pictures are the best quality NASA has ever had. They are all proud like only true geeks can be.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#20 May 26 2008 at 8:59 AM Rating: Decent
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catwho, pet mage of Jabober wrote:
Come to Atlanta sometime


No thanks.
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#21 May 26 2008 at 9:08 AM Rating: Good
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/2137729.stm

Quote:
British 'world's worst tourists'

Britons have been labelled the world's worst holidaymakers in a survey of tourist boards around the globe.
Research by online travel service Expedia suggests Brits abroad are the least well-regarded by foreigners.

They are the rudest, meanest, worst-behaved, most linguistically incompetent and least adventurous holidaymakers, the study published on Friday claims.


I guess Brits aren't exactly Miss Manners when on holiday either.
#22 May 26 2008 at 9:12 AM Rating: Excellent
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Whimsi wrote:
I guess Brits aren't exactly Miss Manners when on holiday either.


With the exception of rarely getting tipped from them, Brits were my favoUrite tourists when I was serving/bartending.
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#23 May 26 2008 at 10:09 AM Rating: Good
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Well, Nobs, the short answer is that we send the stupid ones to Europe to improve both places.

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#24 May 26 2008 at 10:10 AM Rating: Good
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Uglysasquatch, Mercenary Major wrote:
Brits were my favoUrite tourists when I was serving/bartending.
Understandable
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#25 May 26 2008 at 10:22 AM Rating: Decent
catwho, pet mage of Jabober wrote:
FYI: Yankie is a terrible insult to those of us from the southern US. Call us honkies, crackers, anything but that. We reserve it as a descriptive for those above the Mason Dixon line.

It's not quite as terrible as looking at anyone of vaguely Arabic descent and referring to them as a terrorist, but it's starting along those lines to us.


In school, my indian housemate called me a yankie for using abbreviations, such as OJ for orange juice. I told you you can't call Jason that. He's from Virginia. Calling him yankie is...it's just bad. Needless to say, we arranged for Jason to use abbreviations and get him called a yankie and his jaw just hit the floor. The poor guy.

My favorite story about yankee from Jason was that growing up, one of his friends thought "yankee" wasn't a word. He thought it was a suffix attached to "damn".
#26 May 26 2008 at 10:25 AM Rating: Good
Atomicflea wrote:
Frankly, the South deserves to be insulted.


So RuPaul, a transsexual, grew up in San Diego, California and Atlanta Georgia. He found Atlanta more tolerant.
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