I need help.Follow

I suggest punching him in the face for being a racist fuck.

If he's a true friend, he'll punch you back and then you'll both go out to the bar to throw back a couple of brewskis and insult any of the local Republicans there.

Tase him, bro.

I'd buy him a beer.

Not for being a racist, but mostly for not supporting Obama. I am about as far right as they come, but I honestly would rather have Kucinich in the oval office.

Sounds like a conversation my wife and I had with her father... in a crowded restaurant (in our rather racially diverse area of Maryland), where he declared that he wouldn't vote for a black man quite loudly. He got a lot of rather pointed stares, which he happily ignored and continued on.... Fun times!

One of my childhood friends ended up going to prison for a couple years when we were sixteen or seventeen and became quite the little **** while he was inside. He had been like a brother to me, and I was even the person he asked to pick him up upon his release. I knew that he had aligned himself with white supremacists to preserve his **** or whatever, but I had sort of expected him to drop that allegiance once he got out. I mean, our peer group had always been a diverse one, so I didn't think his racist proclamations true.

Turns out I was wrong. He would call me and I'd say, "Hey man, how's it going?" And he'd answer, "All white."

Last I heard he went back to prison for robbing some liquor stores on a coke-fueled rampage across Kansas. So, I recommend you get your friend thrown in the pen, I know I never really think of Sam any more, so his racism doesn't bug me.

Outing a sock, there, Dana?

Whites are right.

N*ggas are wrong.



See? You just have to turn your views around 180 degrees and step into their shoes, and it all makes perfect sense.

Hrmm must be REALLY close roommates then, their emails are nearly the same. Lovers perhaps?

Yep, that's exactly how he meant it.

He'd also get really upset when I'd call him ***** or watch him shower. It's a pity I can't recall any of his other racist colloquialisms, because some of them were really demonstrative of the psyche of your average skin head. Clever folks, those.

Of course he's a pacifist. Hell, if he were any smaller he'd make a suitable pacifier.

OP: Can't tell you how many times I've encountered a similar situation. I have some advice.

For general claims that can be more or less proven/disproven, don't treat their ideas as special just because they're your friend. Challenge them to cite evidence for their claims and show them evidence against. That's not going to turn your friend away from racism but at least he will be better educated on issues.

Per that and the racism; some people aren't going to listen to reason, period. No matter how convincing you are, someone can refuse an argument for as long as they want to until reality forces the truth upon them. This is called disequillibrium; when a person's experiences don't match up with their view of the world. There are many ways to create disequillibrium, the most effective of which are not really practical because they are generally real-life experiences. I'll give you some anyway, but be prepared to accept that the best you'll likely be able to do is plant a seed that will take a lot of time to grow. Don't let that discourage you from trying though, because while you may not see any immediate results, five years from now your friend might have an experience that makes him say, "Maybe he was right." In that same situation minus your efforts, he might never even consider it.

Now what might possibly work is to ask your friend questions that lead them to find flaws in their own thinking, rather than telling them what you think is wrong with their views. It's important to be civil and calm. If you put them on the defensive, you're just going to work on their nerves, and they won't be able to think rationally. Try to remember that your friend is just ignorant, not a bad person. If they say something you believe to be untrue, present them with a real-life example of why you think so, and ask them how they explain it. If they say, "I don't know," then at least you've given them something to think about. You might interject your own opinion then. Asking questions in a way that doesn't threaten their views is going to be your best bet.

That should have some effect if your friend is a rational, mostly intelligent person... Now if all else fails-- if your friend is one of those who doesn't think with his head-- you can always just get mad. Some people just aren't very cognitively gifted and tend to think more about how they're feeling, and relevant to your situation, their relationships. If your friend grows concerned that his views are jeopardizing his friendship with you, he may be prompted to reconsider (then again he may disown you). It's important if you do that to make it clear that he is the one pushing you away, not the other way around, if you take that approach.

But as I've said in several of the recent Obama threads, pushing someone away because they have flaws usually isn't an option. There are people who I debate politics with frequently knowing that they'll probably never change their mind. I am cautious about when I discuss politics with those people, but it doesn't mean I entirely avoid it.

And to give you some perspective, I know I personally would never change my views based on whether the people around me accepted them or not unless I were thoroughly convinced by evidence. Several people in my family have told me that if I married a black woman they would disown me. My response to them was that if it were her or them, it's her. Eventually they seemed to accept that they would just have to deal with it (though I can't say for sure as I haven't had a black girlfriend). That's not to brag about how noble and open I am, but to show (from the opposite end) how putting pressure on someone to change their views with your friendship as a bargaining chip doesn't always work. But since it seemed to improve their attitude towards interracial relationships, it might. Hard to say. It's up to you to decide if your friend would so easily cast aside your friendship. It might be safer to use hypotheticals.


Meh, personally I take solace in the fact that racism is taught, and racists will eventually be an endangered species as natural death works its magic.

Anyway, hope that helps. And you better read all of it.