So I recently had a conversation with a girl I can't fvcking stand. She's pregnant. I hope she miscarries. But that's beside the point.
A group of us were talking, mostly about baby ****, because the entire world revolves around baby **** when someone gets preggo, and someone happened to mention that I'm 18% totally traumatized because of my sister's public breastfeeding behavior in the past. She'd go 12 straight days at home without breastfeeding the baby. The second she leaves the house, BAM! That ***** flies out like a chest-burster from Alien. In the middle of the line at Pirates of the Caribbean, or in the checkout line at the Circle K. It didn't fvcking matter. Whatever factors were involved in determining when and where she needed to feed the baby, modestry never entered into it.
Anyway, so somebody's mentions this but in much less detail. And the ***** with the fetal serpent waiting to unleash itself on the world attacks me, not so much with her fists or even with her choice of words, but rather with her condescending "I'm a mom" tone and with eyes which seemed to take the shape of a goat. Ya know how goat eyes are really fcuking creepy and evil looking? The iris is all crazy shaped n sh*t? Anyway, she was mad that I had, by proxy, criticized her right to ********* at will.
This is the conversation that followed. I swear to you I am not altering the conversation in any way to make myself look smarter. Not that the following makes me look smart, mind you.
Her: "Well, that's easy for you to say because you aren't the one that has to go hungry. The baby has to go hungry."
The Hero: "I'm thinking no baby this side of Botswana is so food-deprived they can't survive long enough for you to take a 6 second walk around the corner where nobody can see you feed the baby."
Her: "Or you could just not look?"
The Hero: "Ummm... There are 300 people with 60 feet of us right now. Is it really reasonable to expect all 300 of those people to avert their eyes and simultaneously be made to feel varying levels of discomfort because it's too much trouble for one person to go someplace less conspicuous to nurse?"
Her: "Wow, I didn't mean to put you in such a bad mood. Now you're going to be mad all the way home!"
The final comment was made to the person with whom I would be travelling home. It was also a transparent attempt to avoid actually responding to my point. Cvnt. Anyway...
I don't have a problem with breast feeding in public... as long as it's done tastefully and as discreetly as the circumstances allow. I do take issue with entitled fetus-jockeys who feel that exhibitionism is an innate right of anybody capable of giving birth- which, for the statistically impaired amongst you, is approximately half of the adult population at some point.
Being a mom does not make you special. Not in a single fcuking way. Being a good mom is something else entirely, and something I doubt she'll ever know anything about.
Now is when you tell me you agree with me.
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Oh look, here comes Ambrya!
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What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
I don't care about breast feeding. I do find you annoying, though, Opie.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Loosen up you...you....tit you.
Its a fu'cking breast. Loadsa people have them.
Its a fu'cking breast. Loadsa people have them.
"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.
Massive sleep deprivation, bone-deep exhaustion, swollen, agonisingly crushed feet.
Mothers of babies chat and smile because letting their faces twist in pain all the time or dropping to the floor and crying would drive people away.
A 6 second walk IS a lot to ask in those circumstances.
Mothers of babies chat and smile because letting their faces twist in pain all the time or dropping to the floor and crying would drive people away.
A 6 second walk IS a lot to ask in those circumstances.
41 posts
Are OP and Opie synonomous? That's what I'm piecing together from the context here. I'm just asking you to confirm my suspicion or to let me know I'm actually very confused by your statement.
Also, WTF is Ambrya? I already dictionary.commed a word and my fingers are tired.
Also, WTF is Ambrya? I already dictionary.commed a word and my fingers are tired.
Yes, Opie. That's you.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
A girl I know always makes a huge deal about how breast feeding is natural and breasts aren't anything special. She says that they (breasts)are put up on this sexual pedestal by men. I hang out with her a lot, so the more she says it, the more it makes sense. You know how women can have that effect sometimes. Anyhow the other day I was at the courthouse, and this lady...and I use that term rather loosely...grabbed a chair, plopped down in it with her baby in the MIDDLE of the records room, and pulled IT out and started breast feeding. Now there was plenty of room around the edges of the room where it would be less....conspicuous.
Just a shared experience really, don't have a strong opinion either way.
Just a shared experience really, don't have a strong opinion either way.
I think I'll go on the record as saying that I have no problem with boobs in public.
Do what now?
41 posts
Quote:
Massive sleep deprivation, bone-deep exhaustion, swollen, agonisingly crushed feet.
Mothers of babies chat and smile because letting their faces twist in pain all the time or dropping to the floor and crying would drive people away.
A 6 second walk IS a lot to ask in those circumstances.
Mothers of babies chat and smile because letting their faces twist in pain all the time or dropping to the floor and crying would drive people away.
A 6 second walk IS a lot to ask in those circumstances.
What you're saying is that the martyr, err, mom, is so sleep deprived and exhausted and in sooooo much pain from, ya know, being a mom, that they simply can't justify the expeniture of energy involved in standing up and walking for 6 seconds, right?
Ok. Then you shouldn't have left the fcuking house. If you have the energy to get up and go to a restaurant or movie or go shopping, whatever, you should have the energy to exhibit common courtesy.
I've had my share of surgery in my day. Some fairly painful sh*t that was debilitating for long periods of time. Never, not once, did I ever **** in potted plant situated in the middle of a crowded dining patio because I was 'too tired to walk to the restroom'. If that were the case, I wouldn't have left the house.
But, you've given me fodder for my next post: "Martyr Moms Blow, Literally and Figuratively."
Today I've learned that the OP puts on a good show of saying he wants to ***** B-List celebs, cheerleaders and school girls but, in reality, he's afraid of seeing a tit in public.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Scribblesmith wrote:
Quote:
Massive sleep deprivation, bone-deep exhaustion, swollen, agonisingly crushed feet.
Mothers of babies chat and smile because letting their faces twist in pain all the time or dropping to the floor and crying would drive people away.
A 6 second walk IS a lot to ask in those circumstances.
Mothers of babies chat and smile because letting their faces twist in pain all the time or dropping to the floor and crying would drive people away.
A 6 second walk IS a lot to ask in those circumstances.
What you're saying is that the martyr, err, mom, is so sleep deprived and exhausted and in sooooo much pain from, ya know, being a mom, that they simply can't justify the expeniture of energy involved in standing up and walking for 6 seconds, right?
Ok. Then you shouldn't have left the fcuking house. If you have the energy to get up and go to a restaurant or movie or go shopping, whatever, you should have the energy to exhibit common courtesy.
I've had my share of surgery in my day. Some fairly painful sh*t that was debilitating for long periods of time. Never, not once, did I ever **** in potted plant situated in the middle of a crowded dining patio because I was 'too tired to walk to the restroom'. If that were the case, I wouldn't have left the house.
But, you've given me fodder for my next post: "Martyr Moms Blow, Literally and Figuratively."
Ugh. Nothing worse than staying in the same house for months on end if you are tired and in pain, and nothing better for you than getting out of it and being social, to alleviate the pain and tiredness.
But I think you are right, I argued the wrong thing. Things change depending on context. Bare breasts in the context of breastfeeding can be desexualised with just a little effort, if they aren't already desexualised for you. Perhaps like a Muslim man in a very strict country might find a bare female face or female arms utterly distracting in a highly erotic, or embarrassing way at her "nudity", and then he would get desensitised to that and find bare faces and arms mostly normal and unremarkable, if he moved to a Western country.
Breastfeeding IS better for the child. It's ridiculous to shut away women when they do it.
Plonking oneself down in the middle of a room sounds rude though, purely from a traffic-flow point.
Edited, Mar 20th 2008 2:38pm by Aripyanfar
Jophiel wrote:
Today I've learned that the OP puts on a good show of saying he wants to ***** B-List celebs, cheerleaders and school girls but, in reality, he's afraid of seeing a tit in public.
I'd say that makes him an utterly ordinary American male.
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Dread Lord Aripyanfar wrote:
Plonking oneself down in the middle of a room sounds like a case of exhibitionism though.
Edited, Mar 20th 2008 2:38pm by Aripyanfar
Edited, Mar 20th 2008 2:38pm by Aripyanfar
#15REDACTED,
Posted: Mar 20 2008 at 10:41 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) I have no counter for that. I concede the irony apparent therein.
41 posts
Quote:
I'd say that makes him an utterly ordinary American male.
You misspelled 'udderly'.
Za-zing!
Yeah, some women do the rest a disservice by being unnecessarily in-your-face. But really, if someone is in your way you just ask them to move. "Excuse me, you're blocking the aisle" is a little more to the point than "You're a disgusting cow for whipping out a tit in public."
Unless you're one of those guys who just can't accept that breasts are anything but funbags.
Unless you're one of those guys who just can't accept that breasts are anything but funbags.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Samira wrote:
Unless you're one of those guys who just can't accept that breasts are anything but funbags.
Donate. One day it could be your family.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
Scribblesmith wrote:
Quote:
Today I've learned that the OP puts on a good show of saying he wants to ***** B-List celebs, cheerleaders and school girls but, in reality, he's afraid of seeing a tit in public.
I have no counter for that. I concede the irony apparent therein.
I might feel differently, however, if I was ************** a B-list celebrity in public. I can't be certain 'til I try though. Is Nexa B-list, ya think? Everyone else wants to stick her, I might as well give her a whirl.
While your posting persona might like to publicly breast suck anywhere, anytime, I suggest that you really start off by asking Galkaman what nightclub he goes to. You can join the public fellators.
41 posts
I don't know WTF that is. But I know who you are. And by the sound of things, it sounds like you're a mom, which would mean you probably have a ******. See where I'm going with this...?
More dictionary.com for you! 
I'm feeling a little like Belkira's signature.
Ah rats, she's changed it. Well, for those who remember it, the in-joke works.
Edited, Mar 20th 2008 3:01pm by Aripyanfar
I'm feeling a little like Belkira's signature.
Ah rats, she's changed it. Well, for those who remember it, the in-joke works.
Edited, Mar 20th 2008 3:01pm by Aripyanfar
Its a short step between getting your d'ick in a knot over a publicly exposed breast, and this.
In both cases, its the male who has the problem.
Mr Bush and his armies of freedom and liberation (for wimminz everywhere) would be sorely dissapointed in your inability to accept those hard fought for freedoms now that they have been won.
In both cases, its the male who has the problem.
Mr Bush and his armies of freedom and liberation (for wimminz everywhere) would be sorely dissapointed in your inability to accept those hard fought for freedoms now that they have been won.
"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.
#23REDACTED,
Posted: Mar 20 2008 at 11:09 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) You're absolutely right, paulsol. Thank you for the moving speech and rhetorical shot of epenephrine to my ailing sense of patriotism. This is probably why there's that giant Statue of a Boob next to the Tomb of the Unknowned Soldier, to memorialize all of the good American men and women who gave their lives so that Mommy could shoot milk into little Johnny's mouth in whatever exhibitionist way she chose fit.
Sarcasm.
The weapon of choice for Captain Fucking Obvious and his Merry Cruiseketeers.
The weapon of choice for Captain Fucking Obvious and his Merry Cruiseketeers.
Goddamn it, where's that video of all those women breastfeeding in the courtroom from Naked Gun 33 1/3 when you need it?
Tare wrote:
Oh look, here comes Ambrya!
<insert premium laughing smilie here>
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Meh. Lame troll. Not worth taking the kid off my tit long enough to bother with. <insert premium "thumbs down" smiley here>
Edited, Mar 20th 2008 3:02pm by Ambrya
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