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They're just happy to be rid of himFollow

#1 Mar 18 2008 at 6:36 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Emo goes all the way.

Quote:
Man's life in Australia for sale online



SYDNEY, Australia - A painful breakup with his wife has prompted a man to put his entire life — his house, his car, his job, even his friends — up for sale online in an effort to start over.

Ian Usher, a British immigrant to Australia, said Tuesday he would auction everything he owns and more on e-Bay starting June 22.

"On the day it's all sold and settled, I intend to walk out of my front door with my wallet in one pocket and my passport in the other, nothing else at all," Usher says on his Web site.

Up for bid is Usher's three bedroom house in the western city of Perth and everything inside it, his car, motorcycle, jet ski and parachuting gear.

Usher says he is also selling a one-time introduction to his friends and a trial run at his job — a plan endorsed by his friends and his employer.

In media interviews on Tuesday, Usher said he wants a fresh start after realizing that most things in his current life remind him of the relationship he had with the wife of five years whom he broke up with more than a year ago.

"Everything that I have — the furniture in the house — all has memories attached to it," Usher, 44, told Seven Network television. "It's time to shed the old, and in with the new."

Usher said his life will be sold in one lot, and that bidders should expect to pay more than $390,000, which is the upper end of a realtor's valuation of his house that he has posted online.

Joy Jones, who co-owns the rug store in Perth where Usher worked as a shop assistant, said she liked the auction idea and wanted to help out. Joy Jones Rugs is offering the successful bidder a two-week trial, which could be extended for three months and then become permanent if it works out.

"When Ian came with this idea — because we had seen him go through a breakup of marriage and pain and bits and pieces — I thought it was really exciting," Jones told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. "We thought, why not give it a go?"

Usher said his friends in Perth had also proved willing to be introduced to the highest bidder — allowing him to advertise his auction as offering a complete lifestyle.

Usher, who was born in Darlington, England, planned to open the auction at noon Perth time on June 22 and accept the last bid exactly one week later.

He said he hopes to set off traveling, including a visit to his mother in England, as soon as the auction is over.

"My current thoughts are to then head to the airport, and ask at the flight desk where the next flight with an available seat goes to, and to get on that and see where life takes me from there," he wrote online.


I find it amusing that his friends and employer are all for it. If I had that whiny ***** around me, I'd offer my support of him going away too.

Nexa
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“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
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#2 Mar 18 2008 at 7:09 AM Rating: Good
As long as his random flight doesn't bring him back to the UK, I'm all for it too.
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#3 Mar 18 2008 at 7:57 AM Rating: Good
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Well, he will be visiting his mother in England so he'll be in the UK, at least for a little while.
#4REDACTED, Posted: Mar 18 2008 at 7:59 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) I wonder how much it'll go for. I'll bid $2
#5 Mar 18 2008 at 8:22 AM Rating: Good
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It's an interesting concept. I can see the pros from his end, and I find it amusing that his friends and employer are behind him in this. I could see myself doing something similiar (sans the friend employer thing) if I ever was put in that situation and didnt have kids. He's got absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain.
#6 Mar 18 2008 at 9:37 AM Rating: Good
If I were him, I'd buy a farm in Oregon.

Oh wait, I was him.

Really though, there should be a whole online service where spurned folks having a mid-life crisis can just swap situations. Like a web-based marketplace for broken lives.
#7 Mar 18 2008 at 9:51 AM Rating: Excellent
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Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
If I were him, I'd buy a farm in Oregon.

Oh wait, I was him.

Really though, there should be a whole online service where spurned folks having a mid-life crisis can just swap situations. Like a web-based marketplace for broken lives.


You could just go on Holiday!

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#8 Mar 18 2008 at 9:54 AM Rating: Good
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what a wonderful phrase
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Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
If I were him, I'd buy a farm in Oregon.

Oh wait, I was him.

Really though, there should be a whole online service where spurned folks having a mid-life crisis can just swap situations. Like a web-based marketplace for broken lives.


Your mid-life crisis came early. Though judging by the amount of alcohol you consume, it's not unlikely that you'll be dead before 50.
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Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
#9 Mar 18 2008 at 9:59 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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I try to have a midlife crisis every five years or so. I figure it's safer since you don't know how long you're really going to live.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#10 Mar 18 2008 at 9:59 AM Rating: Good
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Nexa wrote:
Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
If I were him, I'd buy a farm in Oregon.

Oh wait, I was him.

Really though, there should be a whole online service where spurned folks having a mid-life crisis can just swap situations. Like a web-based marketplace for broken lives.


You could just go on Holiday!

Nexa


That movie cracked me up. Seriously, never thought I'd see Jack Black and Kate Winslet hooking up in a movie.
#11 Mar 18 2008 at 10:00 AM Rating: Good
The Honorable Annabella wrote:
Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
If I were him, I'd buy a farm in Oregon.

Oh wait, I was him.

Really though, there should be a whole online service where spurned folks having a mid-life crisis can just swap situations. Like a web-based marketplace for broken lives.


Your mid-life crisis came early. Though judging by the amount of alcohol you consume, it's not unlikely that you'll be dead before 50.


A couple years ago, when I was twenty-four or five, I took one of those on-line quiz things that was supposed to predict your life expectancy. It asked questions about drug use, sex habits, risky behavior; all the best things in life.

It predicted I would live to be 49. Like, forty is the new sixty.

I went out that night and did a hot line of a hooker's ****. Of course, that appointment had already been penciled into my day planner for weeks.
#12 Mar 18 2008 at 10:01 AM Rating: Good
Vagina Dentata,
what a wonderful phrase
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Nexa wrote:
I try to have a midlife crisis every five years or so. I figure it's safer since you don't know how long you're really going to live.

Nexa


I had my first pangs of mortal fear when I turned 35. I don't know if it constituted a fully realized "mid-life crisis," more like the impetus for increasing my red wine consumption.
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Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
#13 Mar 18 2008 at 10:03 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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The Honorable Annabella wrote:
Nexa wrote:
I try to have a midlife crisis every five years or so. I figure it's safer since you don't know how long you're really going to live.

Nexa


I had my first pangs of mortal fear when I turned 35. I don't know if it constituted a fully realized "mid-life crisis," more like the impetus for increasing my red wine consumption.


Oh I had my first at nineteen. I picked up and moved overnight to a new town an hour and a half away and didn't tell anyone I was going except my parents.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#14 Mar 18 2008 at 10:07 AM Rating: Decent
Skelly Poker Since 2008
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I dunno, nearly 400k for a used life.

Someone should go into business selling 'new' lives.
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#15 Mar 18 2008 at 10:11 AM Rating: Good
Vagina Dentata,
what a wonderful phrase
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Elinda wrote:
I dunno, nearly 400k for a used life.

Someone should go into business selling 'new' lives.


God, that feels like the opener to an inspirational new makeover show.
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Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
#16 Mar 18 2008 at 10:16 AM Rating: Good
Elinda wrote:

Someone should go into business selling 'new' lives.


Baby trafficking is illegal, though.
#17 Mar 18 2008 at 2:33 PM Rating: Good
Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
Elinda wrote:

Someone should go into business selling 'new' lives.


Baby trafficking is illegal, though.


Unless their from the third world or eastern Europe...
#18 Mar 18 2008 at 11:23 PM Rating: Good
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I had my first attack of mortal fear when I doing the ironing when I was 13.


I don't plan on having my first mid-life crisis until I'm at least 65.

Edited, Mar 19th 2008 3:24am by Aripyanfar
#19 Mar 19 2008 at 10:59 AM Rating: Good
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I envy the guy a little. Walking out with just your wits and your wallet is going to be quite the experience. Whoever buys his life, on the other hand....

I smell a hollywood script coming...Guy Pearce or Hugh Jackman?
#20 Mar 19 2008 at 11:15 AM Rating: Decent
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BoondockSaint wrote:

I smell a hollywood script coming...Guy Pearce or Hugh Jackman?
..just so long as it's not Jim Carrey.
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#21 Mar 19 2008 at 11:24 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Oh I think what with the British aspect that we're looking at a Hugh Grant here.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#22 Mar 19 2008 at 11:27 AM Rating: Good
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Quote:
Oh I think what with the British aspect that we're looking at a Hugh Grant here.

Nexa


Quote:
Ian Usher, a British immigrant to Australia


Oh, right. How long do you have to live somewhere to pick up the accent? And how long has he been there. I'm just grasping at straws since I failed reading comprehension this time.
#23 Mar 19 2008 at 11:31 AM Rating: Decent
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I vote Gerard Butler so long as he wears his 300 musclesuit.
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#24 Mar 19 2008 at 11:32 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Hugh Grant also has that bumbling, grasping thing down.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#25 Mar 20 2008 at 1:39 AM Rating: Good
Yeah, but it'll end up being Tom Hanks, as usual.

I missed seeing him on screen for 3 hours straight. Maybe at the end of the film, when he goes back home to the UK, his plane could crash on a desert island and he could spend the sequel eating shrimps and talking to a badminton shuttle.

Man, that movie rocked. And when I say "rocked", I mean "Christian hard-rock" rocked.
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