First you get a dead dog. Any type will do, but preferably the cuter the better. Its got to be a fresh corpse. Several days or smelling WILL NOT do.
Then you get a length of rope about 15 feet long. If the doggie corpse has no collar, go out and buy one and fit it. Tie one end of the rope to the dogs collar, and then in the early early morning when its still dark, take the dead dog with its collar and rope around to the offensive neighbours house.
Heres the best bit.....
Shove the mutt under the back of the victims car, well under, so it cant be seen by anyone at the house. Then tie the other end of the rope to the rear bumper (fender if you is in USA).
Then go home.
When the fu'ckhead of a neighbour (for thats what they surely are) gets in the car to go off and collect his beer tokens or social security or whatever, and they get reported for towing a dead dog behind their car, they are going to have the worst time EVER trying to explain that that cute little Golden Retriever that they have smeared accross half the city was dead before they took it out for some exercise.
Oh yeah, and get off the FFXI and have a word with your boyfriend about his sleeping. That just isn't right.
Sick enuff for ya??
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"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.
The question that came up for me whilst reading your story was "WTH was this person thinking letting some unknown dog in her house when there is a small child around"? There could have been any number of problems with that animal from fleas to things more dangerous. A little common sense; perhaps you were trying to be nice but taking the dog was not the smartest thing you could have done.
Secondly, what is this? Junior high? Smarten those little pricks up.
Secondly, what is this? Junior high? Smarten those little pricks up.
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
fatalillusiontw the Flatulent wrote:
And how can I LEGALLY and ANONYMOUSLY give this woman and these youths back a little of the suffering and intimidation they have given me over the last few days
I have to say that after the paragraph in which you accepted a Shitty mutt from a passing witch, I think Darwin was right and you should just carry on trawling the lower reaches of the food chain, and I find myself unable to give a rat's *****
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
trickybeck wrote:
Except the OP'er makes Daisy & Onslow look like minor aristocracy.
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
I have two pieces of advice. Firstly, get an intervention order. You shouldn't have any problems getting one in this situation. Intervention orders can be brilliant. Policemen like them because intervention orders empower them. It makes everything cut and dried, black and white. They have every right, and can and will, move somebody or arrest them if they put a toe over the exclusion line. Police are much more likely to respond much quicker to a call made by someone with an intervention order.
Also intervention orders work all of the time, even if you can't get the police over immediately for some reason. You can just call up and report someone breaking the terms of the order at some point in time, and a friendly police officer will drop by their house and give them a firm reminder that by law they must stick to all the details of the order.
Secondly, You and your partner practise filming with a camera or mobile phone (cell phone). Next time something happens, get as much of it on tape as you can, especially if you can do it surrepticiously, perhaps under cover of calling the cops. Never swear at these guys, and if you can, never raise your voice to them, unless calling for help. Make sure that you seize and maintain the moral high ground in everyone's eyes. (If you seriously want help from neighbours or strangers, calls for "Help! FIRE! FIRE!" are the most likely to get people to run toward you, instead of away from you.)
If these guys are church goers, taking a tape to their local pastor might get the most prompt action.
Edited, Feb 24th 2008 8:11am by Aripyanfar
Also intervention orders work all of the time, even if you can't get the police over immediately for some reason. You can just call up and report someone breaking the terms of the order at some point in time, and a friendly police officer will drop by their house and give them a firm reminder that by law they must stick to all the details of the order.
Secondly, You and your partner practise filming with a camera or mobile phone (cell phone). Next time something happens, get as much of it on tape as you can, especially if you can do it surrepticiously, perhaps under cover of calling the cops. Never swear at these guys, and if you can, never raise your voice to them, unless calling for help. Make sure that you seize and maintain the moral high ground in everyone's eyes. (If you seriously want help from neighbours or strangers, calls for "Help! FIRE! FIRE!" are the most likely to get people to run toward you, instead of away from you.)
If these guys are church goers, taking a tape to their local pastor might get the most prompt action.
Edited, Feb 24th 2008 8:11am by Aripyanfar
Atomicflea wrote:
If the police is not helping and you are truly in fear for your life, go to the press.
This idea has merit. Your story has all the ingredients for a news story, violence, police indifference, troubled youth, theft, animal abuse/cruelty/neglect, and finally, a woman in distress.
Figure out a way to include god, Paris Hilton, and sex and we'll read about you on the front page of the New York Times.
Edited, Feb 24th 2008 5:48am by Rimesume
Did you offer to let them give your cnut a few pokes?
That should solve the problem.
That should solve the problem.
Don't tase me bro.
Or are tasers illegal in the UK too?
Or are tasers illegal in the UK too?
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Quote:
Posting from Nottingham, Uk
Just tell them the Sheriff will cut their heart out with a spoon.
Tare wrote:
The question that came up for me whilst reading your story was "WTH was this person thinking letting some unknown dog in her house when there is a small child around"? There could have been any number of problems with that animal from fleas to things more dangerous. A little common sense; perhaps you were trying to be nice but taking the dog was not the smartest thing you could have done.
Just to specify - my daughter was NOT in the house when twe had the dog overnight, she was sleeping over with her friends- we wouldn't let a dog we had any conerns over withing feet of her, which is why we wanted rid of the dog immediately the next day.
Well, a few things have happened on this case - we talked to other neighbours on the street we are friends with, and as a result - we now have a crude CCTV system of sorts in place (an elderly lady next door ha pointed her door mounted intercomy thingy at my door - which basically, when someone steps withing 2 methers of the camera, not only automatically records in to a dvd, but ALSO switches her tv channel automatically. If anyone causes trouble at my door now, she'll see them before I do, and be able to ring me with a headsup if I'm not in, or the police if I am in and she senses problems . Its already proven itself - myself and my family went out for dinner, when the lady called and said four youths were messing about in our garden, and that she was calling the police - who turned up, made the youths leaves, and then phoned us to say that, seeing as this problem is persisting, they were, as much as possible, going to drive through my street every 20 minutes until they could confirm someone was home.
We also emailed to Chris's former employer - a retired pub landlord, and a member of the Masons , to which several of nottinghams more senior police officers belong. As a result we had a phone call today, about 3 hours ago,from nottinghams Assistant Chief Constable with whom Mick was having a night in the pub, asking is if we felt we were in any danger tonight or an attack either on our propertyor ourselves. We confirmed we were, and about ten minutes later he phoned back to say that , as far as possible, the 20 minute drivebys by the police car would continue until 8am in the morning, and then resume again at 5pm ( the youths (18-21 years old by the way) all attend college in the daytime,not all together, but they are less likely to be a big problem unless they're all there) and that also, our 'beat' officer ( the boss-cop of my local area sort of thing) would be calling at our house tomorrow morning, and that the ACC would phone back tomorrow afternoon to see what the progress is.
And, we have company for the evening, in the form of Ken, who is a rather large fella, likes his drink, and gets a little rowdy with enough booze inside him. In his words, if anyone does anything that will upset 'his little cutie pie' (my daughter) then he 'will paste the **** out of them, rip their ******* arms off and beat them with the soggy end'.
So, for tonight at least, I can relax, and hopefully this issue should all be sorted soon .
fatalillusiontw the Flatulent wrote:
More twaddle
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Youshutup wrote:
It must be really interesting to live in a world populated by hard-drinking do-gooder simpletons, virtuous yet damp mormoms, dog-obsessed chavs, friendly establishment masons, and a dog.
Can a bear on a unicycle be far behind?
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Do restraining orders cost thousands of pounds to file in Old Blighty? If not, what the f'uck is wrong with you? Take out a god damned restraining order already. Barring that, sick the mormons on her.
It's one thing to try to get along with your neighbors. It's another to get s'hit all over because you're too spineless to do anything to stop it. And no, having a cop drive by occasionally or having a guest over isn't going to stop this.
This would seem obvious but you appear to be quite thick indeed.
It's one thing to try to get along with your neighbors. It's another to get s'hit all over because you're too spineless to do anything to stop it. And no, having a cop drive by occasionally or having a guest over isn't going to stop this.
This would seem obvious but you appear to be quite thick indeed.
Here's what I see is the fatal flaw in your reasoning: You CANNOT intimidate anyone when you are a spineless mess. I don't care if you put a gun in every window and five policemen in your front lawn. The issue, as BT said, it that you're prey, and they've caught your scent. If you want to do you daughter any sort of good, try not to be such a fucking damsel in distress and goddamn BE ASSERTIVE.
Yes, they're pricks, but if you weren't such a sodden twat you could have taken care of yourself and your family days ago.
Yes, they're pricks, but if you weren't such a sodden twat you could have taken care of yourself and your family days ago.
I feel the love in this thread.
I said God-damn!
I said God-damn!
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Atomicflea wrote:
Here's what I see is the fatal flaw in your reasoning: You CANNOT intimidate anyone when you are a spineless mess. I don't care if you put a gun in every window and five policemen in your front lawn. The issue, as BT said, it that you're prey, and they've caught your scent. If you want to do you daughter any sort of good, try not to be such a fucking damsel in distress and goddamn BE ASSERTIVE.
Yes, they're pricks, but if you weren't such a sodden twat you could have taken care of yourself and your family days ago.
Yes, they're pricks, but if you weren't such a sodden twat you could have taken care of yourself and your family days ago.
I heart you.
Quote:
( the youths (18-21 years old by the way
That's a good thing, at least then if they really do something wrong the police can arrest them and keep them in jail. If they were underaged, then it would have been harder.
It all depends on how far you are willing to go, it's not as easy to deal with four of that age when you're either alone or with a young kid.
At least it's been a lesson, never ever buy a pet from someone you know you can't trust.
I hope a steady police surveillance will help, hopefully the cops will catch those four youths when they do something stupid (and not to you or the family naturally).
And others were correct when they say that you were perhaps too easy a target, my parent's have had similar people in the neighbourhood, people like that will gladly target a family they know they can pester and have nothing done in return to them.
Just stay within the law, don't antagonise them and let the cops deal with them.
(never break the law against that kind of people, they tend to know very well what is allowed and not, and they won't hesitate to use it against you)
Atomicflea wrote:
Here's what I see is the fatal flaw in your reasoning: You CANNOT intimidate anyone when you are a spineless mess. I don't care if you put a gun in every window and five policemen in your front lawn. The issue, as BT said, it that you're prey, and they've caught your scent. If you want to do you daughter any sort of good, try not to be such a fucking damsel in distress and goddamn BE ASSERTIVE.
Yes, they're pricks, but if you weren't such a sodden twat you could have taken care of yourself and your family days ago.
Yes, they're pricks, but if you weren't such a sodden twat you could have taken care of yourself and your family days ago.
Hate hate hate agreeing with AF, but what she says is true.
I'm still not clear on how you (OP) ended up with the damn dog in the first place. You didn't want it, but you took it. Why is that?
What stopped you from saying, "No thanks" and shutting the door in her face?
I thought Brits were supposed to be good at this ****.
What stopped you from saying, "No thanks" and shutting the door in her face?
I thought Brits were supposed to be good at this ****.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
And why the hell are you doing the animal abusers favoUrs? Because "she wouldn't go away"?
Puh-lease.
Puh-lease.
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
To be fair, Nottingham has gone a bit downhill since Robin Hood left. It's now a bit of a ********* it has one of the highest murder and gun-crime rate in England, and is reckoned to be one its most dangerous cities. If I was being hassled by 4 youths there, I'd think twice before trying to mace them with a Habitat pepper mill.
Having said that, and keeping in mind the fact that advising people on the net is a bit like buying a wife from a catalogue, you can easily charge and prosecute them with what you have: your boyfriend was beaten up twice and is a witness, and you'll soon have video evidence from your neighbour. Take pictures of your bruised boyfriend, have them authenticated, and keep all the evidence you can for the police. Worst comes to worse, you'll get an ASBO on their ***.
But, whatever you do, don't escalate the violence. It's crystal clear you'll lose.
Having said that, and keeping in mind the fact that advising people on the net is a bit like buying a wife from a catalogue, you can easily charge and prosecute them with what you have: your boyfriend was beaten up twice and is a witness, and you'll soon have video evidence from your neighbour. Take pictures of your bruised boyfriend, have them authenticated, and keep all the evidence you can for the police. Worst comes to worse, you'll get an ASBO on their ***.
But, whatever you do, don't escalate the violence. It's crystal clear you'll lose.
My favorite part was when they demanded that she wake her boyfriend up so they could beat him. And she did it.
Michael Palin couldn't have made that up.
Michael Palin couldn't have made that up.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
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