So, I know you're a sick and tiwsted lot ...Follow

....which is why I feel I can come to you with my 'dilemma' This is LOOONG post, so be patient.

Firstly - the background. Someone on my street knocked on my door the other day, and tried to sell me a dog. Now, I know they treat their pets badly - beating them, and never walking them, so I was very reluctant to agree to taking on this dog. Eventually, because the woman wouldnt ******* go away, we agreed to take it for ONE night on a trial, and see how that went.

Badly, would be the word. The dog STANK . the minute it entered our home, the whole house toook on the aroma of a thousand unwashed **** cheeks after an accidental follow through. We washed the dog, and the minute the dog was in the bath, the water turned brown. The dog (at siux months old) was not housetrained, and pissed all over my leather sofa, even being sostupid as to continue lying in it after it soiled it. It also bit myself and my partner. So, next day, we attempt to return the dog, and the woman gives us a load of abuse, swearing and saying she doesn't want it back.

With a young child in the house, and concerns for her safety, we did the only thing we felt we could - we called the dog warden, lied a little, reported it as a vicous stray, and had it removed.

Now, the woman who attempted to sell us the dog, came round a few hurs later, created a big scene, slung some abuse around, and then appeared to have buggered off.


Now, fast forward to 11pm at night . My daughters in bed, my fellas asleep, and I'm the only one up, playing FFXI. Theres a loud and insistent banging at the door. I try to wake my boyfriend, who is a very heavy sleeper- with no success. Wanting to avoid my 4 year odl daughter waking up and being frightened, I go to answer the door, and am confronted by four youths, one of whom steps partway into my house, sticking his foot across the doorway and preventing me from closing the door again. They sling various abuse, and shout at me to wake my boyfriend. I try a couple of times, again unsuccessfully, and they become really agitated. Eventually, I throw cold water over my boyfriend, and he wakes up - by this time,I'm in tears - as my boyfriend goes down to the door to deal with the youths, I take advantage and take the cordless phone into the bathroom, lock myself in, and call the police, who inform me they are on their way.

In the meantime, my boyfriend is being beaten up on my very doorstep. The police arrive mere minutes after the 4 youths leave, take statements, and then leave. The next morning, we wake up to discover that our garden furniture has been stolen, along with my daughters bike. that evening , while we have friends round, my boyfriend leaves to go to the shop to pick up some bear and cigarrettes, and returns 15 minutes later, visibly shaken, with a large red patch on his forehead, which later develops into a bruise. On the way back from the shop, he was robbed and punched by the same 4 youths.

Today, the same four youths have been walking up and down outside our house, throwing eggs, bricks, and all sorts of stuff at our windows.


Now, we've called the police over each incident, and each time recieved the same bland reassurance that 'the matter is being investigated'. But while they say this, no arrests have been made on the youths, who we CAN name and identify, and they continue to cause problems. I am considering taking matters into my own hads, for the safety of my little girl.

So, my question is -- what measures can I take to protect myself, for example when walking to and fro from the shops - obviously, carrying a weapon is out of the question, I have no desire to break the law - but what items could I concievably, as a normal woman, have in my handbag that I could utilise in self defence should I need to.

And how can I LEGALLY and ANONYMOUSLY give this woman and these youths back a little of the suffering and intimidation they have given me over the last few days. I shouldn't have to resort to things like this - the police SHOULD be dealing with it, but the sad situation is, they aren't, and I refuse to feel like I am trapped in my own home .

Find a nice pay phone, and order Take-out from every restaurant in the city that will deliver to their home.

See, now in America, you'd just pull out your .32 magnum and cap their asses. But I see that you live in the UK.

What can you carry in your purse that's not overtly a weapon and will defend you from four angry thugs? Not a damned thing. Assuming you had a knife or scissors or some other small "weapon", do you think your could effectively use it and not have even a single attacker take it from you?

I'm not trying to be discouraging. I'd guess the best thing you can do as defense is keep careful watch, try not to travel alone and keep a cell phone on you and at the ready. I don't know what kind of "non-lethal" weapon options are open in the UK such as Mace, pepper-spray, tasers, stun batons or whatever.

To further rain on your parade, things that cause folks significant misery typically aren't legal, anonymously done or not.

Go on craigslist and list an ad looking for someone who looks incredibly scary and owns a licensed gun to sit in front of your house. All he has to do is sit there for the day polishing the gun (has to be some sort of hunting rifle) and giving an incredibly scary look to the 4 youths if they come near the house.

If the police is not helping and you are truly in fear for your life, go to the press.

Yeah, we're not really allowed stuff like that in the uk, its a bummer. I've been having a think though, and one think we can safely and legally carry in our handbags, is perfume and deodorant - I'm thinking in the case of a further attack, with a bottle of perfume in my handbag, i coudl get a good spray in the eyes, or a smach and glass. I can't take on four youths on my own - not even if I COULD legally carry a knife - but getting a painful strike at one of them would be a good move.

I've also, thanks to someone who sent me a PM, had another idea. This woman that started all this is a mormon (I have NOTHING at all against mormoms). Recently, a couple of nice young american missionaries called to my door, and me being a soft touch and not the stype to say '**** off, I don't want to join your religion' I invited them in, gave them all a glass of OJ, and sat and chatted with them for a while while they tried to convince me that becoming a mormon was right.

I dont know if any of you ARE Mormon, or have much experience of Mormons, but I actually find them, in general, nice people, if a little too earnest for me, and I've notcied that every time they come to my house, they'll always leave saying 'Is there anything we can do for you today; before mispronouncing my name and thrusting at me a bookmark with something to read. I also know that they DO genuinly TRY and help out where asked - they even paid another Mormon neighbours phone bill when she struggled with her finances.

Now, while this woman claims to be a Mormon, and does attend church, I have a feeling that encouraging intimidation and harrassment is probably not something approved of by the church. I have one of these nice young Missionarries numbers stored on my phone, and he keeps inviting me to attend church ( I went once, it was long, but not intolerable).

I am considering taking him up on his invitation to call if I ever wish to attend, accepting his offer to arrane me a lift, going to the service, waiting patiently until that fun bit of the service where people can volunteer to get up and testify to their reasons and experiences of being part of the church, and asking them for their intervention in this matter. I know that the lady causing the trouble will NOT be attending the service in the morning because of 'ill health' (commonly known as a hangover due to drinking cheap cider) and I also know she cares a lot about her reputation within the church. This may be a good way, without confrontation, to get the situation resolved.

I keep picturing this while reading this thread.

I figure being stabbed in the bollovks with a broken perfume bottle WOULD possibly incapacitate someone. Especially with a good flick-and-twist.

Get a small, cheap handbag and a brick. Go 'round your business and when the yobs come for you, take a swing at their heads while screaming rape.

Course, this whole situation could have been avoided: first off, by not taking untrained pets from questionable neighbors, but after refusing to take the mutt back you should have skinned the dog and hung it on a tree by their yard, Needful Things style. That should make anyone in the neighborhoodthink twice about fuCking with you.

Ask yourself, do you imagine a spritz of perfume to the face or even your feeble attempt at smashing and slicing your target would repel even one of the Mormons you let in your home?

And what of your boyfriend? Must he carry around a bottle of your pungent perfume to feel like a man?

Call the police, tell them that the 4 youths showed up at your door and said they were coming back tonight to rape and murder your 4-year-old daughter.

I know that in America you'd get the regular police, SWAT, and Dog the Bounty Hunter within 4 minutes; I'm sure in the jolly-ole UK the kids will at least get a stern talking to.

Yeah, that actually didn't work >< She is now confined to the house because of the behaviour of these youths, who made threats against her also, that the police know about and havent acted on. Honestly, as a FFXI player, I've ******** and read ******** about GM's, but seriously, british police are worse.

And nothing gets rid of Mormon Missionarries at the door , no even my trusty tin of Mormon-be-gone (actually, my aunties a Mormon). I'll say one thing for them they are persistent little buggers, which is why I think getting them on side, may be a good thing.

In all my dealings with them, (excluding my auntie, who is naturally permitted to be rude and abusive to me due to being a relative - and lord knows I take the mickey out of her drinking boiling water! ) the missionaries in my area have been like a half starved rabid rottweiler, but at least a half starved rabid rottweiler that says please, thankyou, and mother may i. I have a feeling that if I just shouted 'go away' they would, but it would feel like kicking a puppy in the teeth.

To be honest, I might have even become a Mormon, until I discovered the church services last for hours and the hymns are depressing. Get them singing 'Oh Happy Day', skip the tithes, and have that one slightly scary looking missionary with a beard shave and bathe once ina while, and they might have had a deal. (If I was on my deathbed and no other church with sweet flexible young lads with tight butts from cycling for miles daily would take me)

My god, you took an animal from a woman simply because she wouldn't go away and then expected her to take it back? Develop a spine quickly or you'll be doormats all your life.