Synopsis:
Le Wire takes place in Maine. It was written because I'm off work, ill at home, and AV sucks. If you haven't seen "The Wire", this might not be funny. If you have seen it, same. And yes, I totally ripped it off nobby's old threads. GFY.
Cast:
The Police:
Smash: McNulty
Totem: Bunk
Nexa: Kima
Nobby: Colonel Cedric Daniels
Bhod: "Herc"
Joph: Lecster Freamon
Shadowrelm: Bubbles
Kao: Police Commisioner Ervin Burrell
Dana: Dep Commissioner for Ops William Rawls
Allakhazam: The guys upstairs
ElneClare: Breasts
PaulSol: A cow
The Westside:
Nixnot: Avon Barksdale
Mindel: Stringer
Annabela: D'Angelo
Uglyasquatch: Wee Bey
BrownDuck: Wallace
Katie: Poot
Galkaman: Proposition Joe
Barkingturtle: Omar
Episode 01/01
*When you walk through the garden... You better watch your back... Na-na-na-na-goes hardeeeeer... into the devil's back...*
Smash: Totem, you see them dead threads over there? You know what’s it about? What the fUck…
Totem: Them dead threads over there? Hmmm… That’s the fourth one this morning. Do you think Shadowrelm has been posting again?
Smash: FUck no. BullShit! I see them dead threads before. It’s those bastards from the OOT Westside.
Totem: The OOT Westside? Damn… How do you know?
Smash: I’ve been in this game long enough, Totem. Just look at it: A crappy OP, some lame derail, and suddenly, right at the end… a lot of profanity! It’s a trick. Someone’s setting-us up…
Totem: Damn, Smash… FUck! You told Dana about it?
Smash: Yeah, but he wouldn’t listen. Said them OOTers are all a bunch of wussies and it can’t be them, and that we should let it go.He said I should think about my postcount and my karma before doing something stupid. But… I think we should have install a wire!
Nexa: A wire? In Maine? You can’t be serious… You might get hold of two pots of yoghurt, if you ask nice, but even then you’ll have to find your own string.
Smash: Damn!
Totem: FUck…
*Smash slams his desk and takes another gulp of whiskey*
Meanwhile, somewhere it in the OOT Westside…
Nixnot: You sure it’s safe?
Mindel: Most def. It’s a PM, and I jammed the IP log data info.
Nixnot: How’s the thread “new ice-cream flavours you’ve just thought of†going?
Mindel: Not great, D. Katie wrote “strawberry lol†and BrownDuck “Puppy bloodâ€. Then some Shit about someone’s back yard, couple of lolcats, and a pyramid of gay innuendos.
Nixnot: Shiiiiit.Damn those crackfiends, D. We can’t let that be, B. You take care of it?
Mindel: I already got my man Uglyasquatch on it. He’ll hurl some personal abuse at some mother’s kids, and tell someone they got AIDS. Don't worry, he's solid, been in the game long enough. Then Shit gets moved, stuff gets solved, no problem.
Nixnot: Sweet, D. And tell Glakaman to come see me, right now. I got a fully loaded shooter that needs pumping, if you know what I mean…
*Meanwhile, back in the Asylum Narcotics basement*
Smash: That’s it, we’re fUcked. And by “fUckedâ€, I mean, fUcked in the ***!
Totem: What do you mean? Cigar?
Smash: Kao shut the case. He said the Shit’s getting too hot with the guys upstairs. He says we got 2 days left, and then it’s over! And we still don’t have no string. Got some nice yoghurts, though. Strawberry too.
Nexa: Strawberries? In Maine? Ha!
Nobby: So that’s it, old chap? One over you uncle’s shoulder and dad’s a goner? That sounds like southern airy fairy cup-o-tea-milk-no-sugars-sir-y to me!
Joph: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Let’s see what evidence we got. We know it’s the OOT guys, cos all those crappy threads have (was forum=28) on the title. We know it’s their code. If only we had the string to prove it…
Smash: Wait… I got this one guy… A crazy kid, named Barkingturtle. He been roughing some of the OOTs guys, and they ain’t like it much. Maybe we can use him to write Shit so filthy the guys upsatirs won’t even dare touch it!
Nobby: How crazy? Cos I seen some pretty crazy sh*t in my days. Back in 1908...
Smash: He’s insane. He’ll spout Shit so ugly they won’t even wanna delete it. And I’m talking rape-your-moma-fUck-her-intestines-with-pliers ugly.
Totem: Damn…
Nexa: FUck!
Bohd: FUckers…
Totem: How we get to him?
Smash: Last time I saw him, he was hanging out around forum=80. And even though this is only the first episode, this is our last chance.
Edited, Feb 20th 2008 4:10pm by RedPhoenixxx
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Le Wire (was forum=28?)Follow
I've never seen The Wire, but something tells me I'm going to die in an upcoming episode.
Donate. One day it could be your family.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Nixnot: How’s the thread “new ice-cream flavours you’ve just thought of†going?
Mindel: Not great, D. Katie wrote “strawberry lol†and BrownDuck “Puppy bloodâ€. Then some Shit about someone’s back yard, couple of lolcats, and a pyramid of gay innuendos.
Mindel: Not great, D. Katie wrote “strawberry lol†and BrownDuck “Puppy bloodâ€. Then some Shit about someone’s back yard, couple of lolcats, and a pyramid of gay innuendos.
I don't even get a mention? I thought we had something special, something wonderful, something potentially contagious!
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Samira wrote:
I don't even get a mention? I thought we had something special, something wonderful, something potentially contagious!
Donate. One day it could be your family.
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. Victor Hugo
I get to play with shotguns! 
Oh, wait...
Oh, wait...
The only real crime in Maine is poisoning coffee at Church functions, drunk and driving snowmobiling and raping blood relatives.
Oh and shooting your wife in a fit of alcoholic rage.
lol and Nobby is old.
Oh yeah and the description of the OOT is totally accurate. In fact, we should have a thread about ice cream flavors. :D
It's be like the days of the posts of the best emoticons.
Edited, Feb 20th 2008 1:23pm by Annabella
Oh and shooting your wife in a fit of alcoholic rage.
lol and Nobby is old.
Oh yeah and the description of the OOT is totally accurate. In fact, we should have a thread about ice cream flavors. :D
It's be like the days of the posts of the best emoticons.
Edited, Feb 20th 2008 1:23pm by Annabella
Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Nexa: A wire? In Maine? You can’t be serious… You might get hold of two pots of yoghurt, if you ask nice, but even then you’ll have to find your own string.
I don't understand my line here, I hope that it's good!
Quote:
Nexa: ****!
This I understand, and agree with! Yay!
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Because of a circumstance, I often get BT and Smash confused.
Highly implausible.
Black people in Maine?
Black people in Maine?
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Smasharoo wrote:
Highly implausible.
Black people in Maine?
Black people in Maine?
They have that kind of blacks there, right?
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
They have that kind of blacks there, right?
Only on Tuesdays in the Lobsterman's Union Hall. To be fair, though, the last time I was in Bangor, I did see TWO jews. Or perhaps confused beanie aficionados. It's about even money, I guess.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Smasharoo wrote:
They have that kind of blacks there, right?
Only on Tuesdays in the Lobsterman's Union Hall. To be fair, though, the last time I was in Bangor, I did see TWO jews. Or perhaps confused beanie aficionados. It's about even money, I guess.
Maine is the whitest state in the nation. (and it is annoying when mouth-breathing out of staters would come up and seem really happy about it).
However, according to my Jewish History professor, many years ago, Bangor does have a thriving Jewish Community.
Turin wrote:
Seriously, what the f*ck nature?
I'm /butthurt that after going out of my way to post a tribute to my favorite slayen Wire charachter in the OOT not two days ago, that I was left out of this thread.
Linky: But Spoilers!
And I'm man enough to admit it.
Linky: But Spoilers!
And I'm man enough to admit it.
"The Rich are there to take all of the money & pay none of the taxes, the middle class is there to do all the work and pay all the taxes, and the poor are there to scare the crap out of the middle class." -George Carlin
Samira wrote:
I don't even get a mention? I thought we had something special, something wonderful, something potentially contagious!
We do baby! It was just a bit of fun, and it meant nothing to me, I swear. And I was high! And lonely...
Forgive me?
Omega wrote:
I'm /butthurt that after going out of my way to post a tribute to my favorite slayen Wire charachter in the OOT not two days ago
I know man, I saw the title of the thread, but I'm still in the middle of season 2. So I didn't open that thread, nor any of the ones near it, just in case. I really don't want spoilers. Also I can't help it if no one smokes pot in the Maine Police Department.
Nexa wrote:
I don't understand my line here, I hope that it's good!
Like two pots of yoghurts and a string, what we used in France before the advent of mobile phones. Well, as kids anyway. So, that's the only alternative to a proper wiretap in Maine. You can stick one pot of yoghurt agaisnt the wall, and the other against your ear. Obviously. But even then, though the MPD might give them the empty yogughrts, they won't have the funds to provide the string. You really need to brush up on your espionage techniques, Nexa.
And yeah, I'm still ill today. Back to bed now...
Smasharoo wrote:
It's about even money, I guess.
Strawberries! LOl
except I'm allergic to their sugary goodness
except I'm allergic to their sugary goodness
I just finished watching season one two weeks ago. I had won the dvd's but didnt have a good connection on the player to the TV. Elne was very happy to have a role! Glad it was non speaking.
Ummm...Moo
"If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders". Carlin.
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