An 85-year-old manFollow

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his
physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a
***** sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him
the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.


The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this
- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left
hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help; she tried with her
right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first
with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up
Arleen, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.



The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"



The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

Talking of old men. . .

ToUtem went for a medical examination and hearing test. The hearing test wasn't so good (20% hearing ability), then he went with his Mrs into the examination room.

The doctor asked ToUtem to take off his clothes. "Pardon?" says ToUts. "HE SAYS TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES HONEY" says Mrs T.

"OK Mr ToUtem. Now I need a sample of your urine, ***** and *****". ToUtem looks to his wife for clarification. She leans to him and says












































"The doctor wants your underpants"

As long as we're talking about being sick...

My coworker, Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work."

Our boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon........ You got nice house."