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#1 Dec 27 2007 at 2:51 PM Rating: Excellent
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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Parents buy a 40mph Quad Bike as a Christmannukwanza gift for their 7 year old daughter and allow her to drive it on a public road.

28 woman is driving her range rover "under the affluence of incohol" in the opposite direction.

Guess what happened Smiley: rolleyes

So the ickle girl is slightly more dead than she was yesterday, and the Range Rover driver has been arrested.

Quote:
Girl, 7, in fatal quad bike crash

A seven-year-old girl died after the quad bike she was given for Christmas was involved in a head-on collision with a Range Rover in Essex.

Elizabeth Cooke, from Blackmore, near Brentwood, was taken to hospital where she died from her injuries.

A woman, 28, who was driving the Range Rover, was arrested on suspicion of causing death by careless driving while unfit through drink or drugs


OK, so Daddy was in the car escorting his ickle pwecious, but how fUcking stupid do you have to be to let such an small child drive a quad bike on a public road at dusk?

So. . .

What's the verdict?
The drunk driver should take the blame:2 (4.5%)
Daddy should be rehabilitated with a 10 year stretch with a 300lb ghey cell-mate:5 (11.4%)
They're both culpable, so they share equal blame:25 (56.8%)
WTF. She was only a British kid! Not like it was a kitten or a baby wombat:12 (27.3%)
Total:44
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#2 Dec 27 2007 at 3:01 PM Rating: Decent
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A woman, 28, who was driving the Range Rover, was arrested on suspicion of causing death by careless driving while unfit through drink or drugs


******* BBC. Where's the picture of the dead kid? I can't get properly outraged without the smiling picture of a now dead child. Wait. Was it a little black girl or something?

Oh wait, Essex, you say. Probably had face tattoos and the like. That explains it.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#3 Dec 27 2007 at 3:04 PM Rating: Good
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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Smasharoo wrote:
Oh wait, Essex, you say. Probably had face tattoos and the like. That explains it.
Natch. (Some spelled almost accurately)
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"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
#4 Dec 27 2007 at 3:09 PM Rating: Good
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Quote:
A spokesman for road safety charity Brake said: "Even with permission to use the machines on private land, children should not be put in control of them - the sheer power and speed of them is dangerous wherever they are used."


So why are they manufacturing these things to be the perfect size for 5-7 year olds?

Yes, I know someone who bought one for their 5 year old daughter, plopped her on it and told her to have a ball. After she immediately rolled it they thought maybe they should give her some rudimentary instructions and encouraged her to get right back on.
#5 Dec 27 2007 at 3:13 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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TILT
They were both stupid, both breaking the law* and my main reaction is "That sucks" for the little girl since two adults managed to jointly **** her over.


*Since it's illegal to ride a quad bike on the roads under the age of 16 (per the article), I'm holding the father responsible for letting his daughter do it.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#6 Dec 27 2007 at 3:14 PM Rating: Excellent
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Yanari wrote:
Quote:
A spokesman for road safety charity Brake said: "Even with permission to use the machines on private land, children should not be put in control of them - the sheer power and speed of them is dangerous wherever they are used."
So why are they manufacturing these things to be the perfect size for 5-7 year olds?
Because the fine people at ACME QuadBikes care more about getting paid than they care what the folks at some "road safety charity" have to say.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#7 Dec 27 2007 at 3:19 PM Rating: Good
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So why are they manufacturing these things to be the perfect size for 5-7 year olds?


Because the shotgun market in the UK for that age group just isn't what it is here in the US and they have to make a living.

____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#8 Dec 27 2007 at 3:26 PM Rating: Default
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Smasharoo wrote:

So why are they manufacturing these things to be the perfect size for 5-7 year olds?


Because the shotgun market in the UK for that age group just isn't what it is here in the US and they have to make a living.
The only thing I could think to say to this question is because midgets gotta ride quads too... Then I thought... That's not very nice.
#9 Dec 28 2007 at 11:53 AM Rating: Decent
There's a Darwin Award in here for someone right?
#10 Dec 29 2007 at 4:55 AM Rating: Decent
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DaimenKain wrote:
There's a Darwin Award in here for someone right?

Possibly, since the father effectively eliminated his genes from the pool.

All I know is that if I ever see a little kid riding a quad/ATV down a road, I know I'm aiming for em!
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we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#11 Dec 29 2007 at 10:43 AM Rating: Default
Debalic wrote:
DaimenKain wrote:
There's a Darwin Award in here for someone right?

Possibly, since the father effectively eliminated his genes from the pool.

All I know is that if I ever see a little kid riding a quad/ATV down a road, I know I'm aiming for em!


Don't wait for it to be a quad or ATV you know. Scooters, bikes and wheelchairs are all fine as well.
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