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Dick fart.
Its like hiding in the bushes and watching the squirrel wander under the propped-up box with an acorn under it.
Friar AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Its like hiding in the bushes and watching the squirrel wander under the propped-up box with an acorn under it.
Friar AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Its like hiding in the bushes and watching the squirrel wander under the propped-up box with an acorn under it.
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Elderon wrote:
Friar AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Its like hiding in the bushes and watching the squirrel wander under the propped-up box with an acorn under it.
Alma wrote:
I lost my post
Nobby wrote:
Friar AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Its like hiding in the bushes and watching the squirrel wander under the propped-up box with an acorn under it.
Your analogy > my analogy
Friar AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Nobby wrote:
Friar AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Its like hiding in the bushes and watching the squirrel wander under the propped-up box with an acorn under it.
Ghwah asrgle *slurp* *slurp*
Elderon wrote:
Friar AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Nobby wrote:
Friar AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Its like hiding in the bushes and watching the squirrel wander under the propped-up box with an acorn under it.
Ghwah asrgle *slurp* *slurp*
Now **** off and let him/her/it carry on easing my scrotal burden
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Nobby wrote:
Elderon wrote:
Friar AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Nobby wrote:
Friar AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Its like hiding in the bushes and watching the squirrel wander under the propped-up box with an acorn under it.
Ghwah asrgle *slurp* *slurp*
Now **** off and let him/her/it carry on easing my scrotal burden
I didn't notice the "misquote" until Nobby quoted you.Nobby wrote:
Elderon wrote:
Friar AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Nobby wrote:
Friar AshOnMyTomatoes wrote:
Its like hiding in the bushes and watching the squirrel wander under the propped-up box with an acorn under it.
Ghwah asrgle *slurp* *slurp*
Now **** off and let him/her/it carry on easing my scrotal burden
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
A guy walks into a fancy dress party wearing only a skimpy pair of Calvin Kleins.
Host: What are you supposed to be?
Guest: A premature ejaculation
Host: Whut?
Guest: I've come in me pants :-)
Host: What are you supposed to be?
Guest: A premature ejaculation
Host: Whut?
Guest: I've come in me pants :-)
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Knobster wrote:
Krap Jokes
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."
And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll **** on its head."
A piece of rope goes into a bar for a drink. The bartender says "Hey! We don't serve your kind here!"
The rope goes outside, ties himself in a few knots, and ruffles his ends, and then heads back into the bar.
The bartender spotted him and said "Wait a second, aren't you that rope I just told to leave?"
The rope says "Nope, I'm afraid not."
The rope goes outside, ties himself in a few knots, and ruffles his ends, and then heads back into the bar.
The bartender spotted him and said "Wait a second, aren't you that rope I just told to leave?"
The rope says "Nope, I'm afraid not."
-------------------------------
A man walks into his bedroom with duck under his arm and says "This is the pig that I sleep with"..
His wife speaks up from that bed and says "Thats not a pig thats a duck"..
The man responds... "I wasnt talking to you"
-------------------------------
I am sorry and feel stupid thank you for telling what it means. Since I have been posting to the forums for awhile but never here on your private thread please forgive. Doubly forgive me for mentioning FFXI that the site was made to enhance and laugh about.
Most people do seem to hate me out of hand so I think you need to stand in line...
Funny I thought was great picture of a final fantasy fan, avatar stays and so do I big boy so have fun in the asylum.
Edited, Dec 14th 2007 3:23pm by sirtebian
A man walks into his bedroom with duck under his arm and says "This is the pig that I sleep with"..
His wife speaks up from that bed and says "Thats not a pig thats a duck"..
The man responds... "I wasnt talking to you"
-------------------------------
Quote:
Secondly, this is a warm, welcoming and affectionate forum. For existing members. n00bs tend to receive an initiation by fire. For those who make references to FFXI, we add a soupçon of Napalm.
I am sorry and feel stupid thank you for telling what it means. Since I have been posting to the forums for awhile but never here on your private thread please forgive. Doubly forgive me for mentioning FFXI that the site was made to enhance and laugh about.
Most people do seem to hate me out of hand so I think you need to stand in line...
Funny I thought was great picture of a final fantasy fan, avatar stays and so do I big boy so have fun in the asylum.
Edited, Dec 14th 2007 3:23pm by sirtebian
Bloke walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm and asks
"Hi, do you sell Fishcakes?"
the owner replies "No, sorry"
"Bugger, it's his birthday on friday."
"Hi, do you sell Fishcakes?"
the owner replies "No, sorry"
"Bugger, it's his birthday on friday."
What's the difference between a dump truck full of bowling balls and a dump truck full of dead babies?
You can't unload a dump truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
What's worse than a sack full of dead babies?
A live one in the bottom trying to dig its way out.
You can't unload a dump truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
What's worse than a sack full of dead babies?
A live one in the bottom trying to dig its way out.
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Quote:
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."
And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll sh*t on its head."
"You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."
And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll sh*t on its head."
Thats a great one.
The Blonde and the Lawyer
--------------------------
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired,
just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window
to catch some sleep.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says,
"Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer,
I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment
unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question : "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill
and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay" says the lawyer, your turn.
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references,
no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net
and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends
and co-workers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you !" and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks :
"Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse,
hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
>>> Never judge people on appearances, smart people come in all shapes, forms, and colours !
Got that one here:
http://www.answersthatwork.com/
Just click on the 'fun page' and itll have a list of stuff like that.
why were women given 2 sets of lips?
so they can **** and moan
so they can **** and moan
Quote:
Doubly forgive me for mentioning FFXI that the site was made to enhance and laugh about.
Good one.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
#46REDACTED,
Posted: Dec 16 2007 at 4:36 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) If your rushin to get to the Bathroom... What are you when you get to the Bathroom ?
What's brown n sticky.
A stick
What's pink n fluffy
Pink fluff
Yup, best I've got.
EDIT: either
A) sirtebian's codes suck.
B) lack of premium sucks.
C) all of the above
Edited, Dec 21st 2007 3:53pm by zelrin
A stick
What's pink n fluffy
Pink fluff
Yup, best I've got.
EDIT: either
A) sirtebian's codes suck.
B) lack of premium sucks.
C) all of the above
Edited, Dec 21st 2007 3:53pm by zelrin
zelrin wrote:
What's brown n sticky.
[bg=Dogerblue][Dogerblue]A stick[/Dogerblue][/bg]
What's pink n fluffy
[bg=Dogerblue][Dogerblue]Pink fluff[/Dogerblue][/bg]
Yup, best I've got.
EDIT: either
A) sirtebian's codes suck.
B) lack of premium sucks.
C) all of the above
[bg=Dogerblue][Dogerblue]A stick[/Dogerblue][/bg]
What's pink n fluffy
[bg=Dogerblue][Dogerblue]Pink fluff[/Dogerblue][/bg]
Yup, best I've got.
EDIT: either
A) sirtebian's codes suck.
B) lack of premium sucks.
C) all of the above
D) You are full of FAIL
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Two muffins are sitting in an over. One say to the other "Man, it's hot in here!"
Two fish in a tank. One says to the other "How the fUck do you drive this thing?!"
Two hippos in a lake. One says to the other "How weird, I was sure we were Tuesday."
Now that the good jokes are over and done with, here are a couple of AWFUL ones, so look away now if you are SENSITIVE or simply HAVE A HEART:
Really, look away NOW!!
Otherwise:
What does Madeleine McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are 10 feet under and full of seamen.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Madeleine McCann jokes?
Madeleince McCann jokes are getting old.
Also, latest news: Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape!
Right, I'm off to have breakfast now...
Two fish in a tank. One says to the other "How the fUck do you drive this thing?!"
Two hippos in a lake. One says to the other "How weird, I was sure we were Tuesday."
Now that the good jokes are over and done with, here are a couple of AWFUL ones, so look away now if you are SENSITIVE or simply HAVE A HEART:
Really, look away NOW!!
Otherwise:
What does Madeleine McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are 10 feet under and full of seamen.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and Madeleine McCann jokes?
Madeleince McCann jokes are getting old.
Also, latest news: Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape!
Right, I'm off to have breakfast now...
Quote:
What's brown n sticky.
[bg=Dogerblue][Dogerblue]A stick[/Dogerblue][/bg]
What's pink n fluffy
[bg=Dogerblue][Dogerblue]Pink fluff[/Dogerblue][/bg]
Yup, best I've got.
EDIT: either
A) sirtebian's codes suck.
B) lack of premium sucks.
C) all of the above
[bg=Dogerblue][Dogerblue]A stick[/Dogerblue][/bg]
What's pink n fluffy
[bg=Dogerblue][Dogerblue]Pink fluff[/Dogerblue][/bg]
Yup, best I've got.
EDIT: either
A) sirtebian's codes suck.
B) lack of premium sucks.
C) all of the above
the 
said the old 
or off with his head said the 
alright as a
of help and so you dont 
i will send
to the payforzelrinallakhazam@helptheguyout.com just so you know i am not
around, heres more jokes ps you have to spell dodger correctly, my example was spelled wrong so you could read it sorry
-------------------------
Whats the fastiest cake in the world?
Scone
Two Atoms are talking to each other.
One of them says "i lost an electron".
The other says "are you sure?".
yes i am postive
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
no idea
Edited, Dec 19th 2007 12:13pm by sirtebian
Scientists have developed a condom that helps avoid premature ejaculation. The inside is coated in anaesthetic so you last longer.
As a bonus - wear it inside out and avoid waking her up
As a bonus - wear it inside out and avoid waking her up
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
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