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#1 Dec 06 2007 at 2:45 PM Rating: Excellent
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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19,524 posts
I love nonsense. Especially the brand of nonsense that was de-rigeur in the early 20th century.

My favoUrite:
Quote:

The elephant is a bonnie bird.
It flits from bough to bough.
It makes its nest in a rhubarb tree
And whistles like a cow.


What's yours?
____________________________
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
#2 Dec 06 2007 at 3:01 PM Rating: Excellent
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Most of your posts. Pick one.
#3 Dec 06 2007 at 3:01 PM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
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29,360 posts
Well, my very favorite would have to be "Jabberwocky". For American doggerel, though, I'd turn to the works of one Ogden Nash:

Quote:
There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,
Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.
I don't mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five dollars or step on your feet,
Because I think that is sort of sweet;
No, I object to one kind of apology alone,
Which is when people spend their time and yours apologizing for everything they own.
You go to their house for a meal,
And they apologize because the anchovies aren't caviar or the partridge is veal;
They apologize privately for the crudeness of the other guests,
And they apologzie publicly for their wife's housekeeping or their husband's jests;
If they give you a book by DiCkens they apologize because it isn't by Scott,
And if they take you to the theater, they apologize for the acting and the dialogue and the plot;
They contain more milk of human kindness than the most capacious diary can,
But if you are from out of town they apologize for everything local and if you are a foreigner they apologize for everything American.
I dread these apologizers even as I am depicting them,
I shudder as I think of the hours that must be spend in contradicting them,
Because you are very rude if you let them emerge from an argument victorious,
And when they say something of theirs is awful, it is your duty to convince them politely that it is magnificent and glorious,
And what particularly bores me with them,
Is that half the time you have to politely contradict them when you rudely agree with them,
So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,
Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.


It isn't the same sort of nonsense that you cited, though.


Edited, Dec 7th 2007 9:06am by Samira
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#4 Dec 06 2007 at 3:04 PM Rating: Good
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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Samira wrote:
Well, my very favorite would have to be "Jabberwocky". For American doggerel, though, I'd turn to the works of one Ogden Nash:
Nash works for me, but Lewis Carrol was more what I had in mind.

Still, no surprise that you'd drop another clue that you desperately want me.
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"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
#5 Dec 06 2007 at 3:25 PM Rating: Good
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I was always more of a Dr. Seuss man myself.
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#6 Dec 06 2007 at 3:32 PM Rating: Excellent
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I change my answer



Title 26: Internal Revenue
PART 1—INCOME TAXES
Tax Preference Regulations


Browse Previous | Browse Next


§ 1.58-7 Tax preferences attributable to foreign sources; preferences other than capital gains and stock options.
(a) In general. Section 58(g)(1) provides that except in the case of the stock options item of tax preference (section 57(a)(6) and §1.57–1(f)) and the capital gains item of tax preference (section 57(a)(9) and §1.57–1(i)), items of tax preference which are attributable to sources within any foreign country or possession of the United States shall, for purposes of section 56, be taken into account only to the extent that such items reduce the tax imposed by chapter 1 (other than the minimum tax under section 56) on income derived from sources within the United States. Items of tax preference from sources within any foreign country or possession of the United States reduce the chapter 1 tax on income from sources within the United States to the extent the deduction relating to such preferences, in combination with other foreign deductions, exceed the income from such sources and, in effect, offset income from sources within the United States. Items of tax preference, for this purpose, are determined after application of §1.57–4 (relating to limitation on amounts treated as items of tax preference). In the case of a taxpayer who deducted foreign taxes under section 164 for a taxable year, the provisions of this section shall be applied (without regard to section 275(a)(4)) as if he had elected the overall foreign tax credit limitation under section 904(a) (2) for such year.

(b) Preferences attributable to foreign sources —(1) Preferences other than excess investment interest. Except in the case of excess investment interest (see subparagraph (2) of this paragraph), an item of tax preference to which this section applies is attributable to sources within a foreign country or possession of the United States to the extent such item is attributable to a deduction properly allocable or apportionable to an item or class of gross income from sources within a foreign country or possession of the United States under the principles of section 862(b), or section 863, and the regulations thereunder. Where, in the case of income partly from sources within the United States and partly from sources within a foreign country or possession of the United States, taxable income is computed before apportionment to domestic and foreign sources, and is then apportioned by processes or formulas of general apportionment (pursuant to section 863(b) and the regulations thereunder), deductions attributable to such taxable income are considered to be proportionately from sources within the United States and within the foreign country or possession of the United States on the same basis as taxable income.

(2) Excess investment interest —( i ) Per-country limitation —( a ) In the case of a taxpayer on the per-country foreign tax credit limitation under section 904(a) for the taxable year, excess investment interest (as defined in section 57(b)(1)), and the resulting item of tax preference, is attributable to sources within a foreign country or a possession of the United States to the extent that investment interest expense attributable to income from sources within such foreign country or possession of the United States exceeds the net investment income from sources within such foreign country or such possession. For this purpose, net investment income from within a foreign country or possession of the United States is the excess (if any) of the investment income from sources within such country or possession over the investment expenses attributable to income from sources within such country or such possession. For the definition of investment interest expense see section 57(b)(2)(D); for the definition of investment income see section 57(b)(2)(B); for the definition of investment expense see section 57(b)(2)(C).

( b ) If the taxpayer's excess investment interest computed on a worldwide basis is less than the taxpayer's total separately determined excess investment interest (as defined in this subdivision ( b)), the amount of the taxpayer's excess investment interest from each foreign country or possession is the amount which bears the same relationship to the taxpayer's excess investment interest from each such country or possession, determined without regard to this subdivision ( b ), as the taxpayer's worldwide excess investment interest bears to the taxpayer's total separately determined excess investment interest. For purposes of this subdivision ( b ), the taxpayer's total separately determined excess investment interest is the sum of the total excess investment interest determined without regard to this subdivision ( b ) plus the taxpayer's excess investment interest from sources within the United States determined in a manner consistent with ( a ) of this subdivision (i).

(ii) Overall limitation. In the case of a taxpayer who has elected the overall foreign tax credit limitation under section 904(a)(2) for the taxable year, excess investment interest (as defined in section 57(b)(1)), and the resulting item of tax preference, is attributable to sources within any foreign country or possession of the United States to the extent that investment interest expense attributable to income from such sources exceeds the sum of ( a ) the net investment income from such sources plus ( b ) the excess, if any, of net investment income from sources within the United States over investment interest expense attributable to sources within the United States. For this purpose, net investment income from sources within any foreign country or possession of the United States is the excess (if any) of the investment income from all such sources over the investment expenses attributable to income from such sources. For the definition of investment interest expense see section 57(b)(2)(D) for the definition of investment income see section 57(b)(2)(B); for the definition of investment expense see section 57(b)(2)(C).

(iii) Allocation of expenses. The determination of the investment interest expense and investment expenses attributable to a foreign country or possession of the United States is made in a manner consistent with subparagraph (1) of this paragraph.

(iv) Attribution of certain interest deductions to foreign sources. Where net investment income from sources within any foreign country or possession has the effect of offsetting investment interest expense attributable to income from sources within the United States, the deductions for the investment interest expense so offset are, for purposes of §1.58–7(c) (relating to reduction in taxes on United States source income), treated as deductions attributable to income from sources within the foreign country or possession from which such net investment income is derived. Such an offset will occur where there is an excess of investment interest expense attributable to income from sources within the United States over net investment income from such sources and ( a ) in the case of a taxpayer on the per-country foreign tax credit limitation, an excess of net investment income from sources within a foreign country or possession of the United States over investment interest expense from within such foreign country or possession, or ( b ) in the case of a taxpayer who has elected the overall foreign tax credit limitation, there is an excess of net investment income from sources within foreign countries or possessions of the United States over investment interest expense attributable to income from within such sources.

(v) Separate limitation on interest income. Where a taxpayer has income described in section 904(f)(2) (relating to interest income subject to the separate foreign tax credit limitation) or expenses attributable to such income, the determination of the excess investment interest resulting therefrom must be determined separately with respect to such income and the expenses properly allocable or apportionable thereto in the same manner as such determination is made in the case of a taxpayer on the per-country foreign tax credit limitation for the taxable year (see subdivision (i) of this subparagraph).

(vi) Examples. The principles of this subparagraph may be illustrated by the following examples in each of which the taxpayer is an individual and a citizen of the United States:

Example 1. The taxpayer's only items of income and deduction relating to excess investment interest are as follows:

United States France Germany Total
Investment income from sources within $150,000 $120,000 $180,000 $450,000
Investment expenses relating to income from sources within (100,000) (90,000) (120,000) (310,000)
Net investment income 50,000 30,000 60,000 140,000
Investment interest expense relating to income from sources within (110,000) (70,000) (50,000) (230,000)
(Excess) of investment interest expense over net investment income (60,000) (40,000) *10,000 (90,000)

*Excess of net investment income over investment interest expense.

(a) If the taxpayer has elected the overall foreign tax credit limitation, his excess investment interest from sources within any foreign countries or possessions of the United States determined under subdivision (ii) of this subparagraph is computed as follows:

Investment interest:
French ($70,000)
German (50,000) ($120,000)
Net investment income:
Investment income:
French 120,000
German 180,000 $300,000
Less:
Investment expenses:
French (90,000)
German (120,000) (210,000) 90,000
Excess of U.S. net income over investment interest expenses:
Total foreign excess investment interest (30,000)

(b) If the taxpayer is on the per-country foreign tax credit limitation, his excess investment interest from France and Germany determined under subdivision (i)( a ) of this subparagraph is $40,000 and zero, respectively. Since the taxpayer's worldwide excess investment interest ($90,000) is less than his total separately determined excess investment interest ($60,000 (United States) plus $40,000 (French) plus zero (German), or $100,000), the limitation in subdivision (i) ( b ) of this subparagraph applies and the excess investment interest attributable to France is limited as follows:
Total worldwide excess ($90,000)/Total separately determined excess ($100,000) × French excess ($40,000)=$36,000

The taxpayer's total excess investment interest attributable to sources within any foreign country or possession of the United States is, thus, $36,000 ($36,000 (French) plus zero (German)). The taxpayer's excess investment interest attributable to sources within the United States is $54,000

($90,000/$100,000×$60,000).

Since, in making the latter determination, $6,000 of the $60,000 of U.S. investment interest expense in excess of U.S. net investment income is, in effect, offset by German net investment income, for purposes of §1.58–7(c), $6,000 of interest deductions attributable to income from sources within the United States are, pursuant to subdivision (iv) of this subparagraph, treated as deductions attributable to income from sources within Germany.


Example 2. Assume the same facts as in example (1) except that the items of income and deduction in Germany and the United States are reversed. The worldwide excess investment interest, thus, remains $90,000 and the items of income and deduction relating to excess investment interest are as follows:

United States France Germany Total
Investment income from sources within $180,000 $120,000 $150,000 $450,000
Investment expenses relating to income from sources within (120,000) (90,000) (100,000) (310,000)
Net investment income 60,000 30,000 50,000 140,000
Investment interest expense relating to income from sources within (50,000) (70,000) (110,000) (230,000)
(Excess) of investment interest expense over net investment income 10,000 (40,000) (60,000) (90,000)

(a) If the taxpayer has elected the overall limitation, his excess investment interest from sources within any foreign countries or possessions of the United States determined under subdivision (ii) of this subparagraph is determined as follows:
Foreign investment interest:
French ($70,000)
German (110,000) ($180,000)
Foreign net investment income:
French 120,000
German 150,000 $270,000
Less:
Investment expenses:
French (90,000)
German (100,000) (190,000) 80,000
Excess of U.S. net investment income over U.S. investment interest expense 10,000
Excess investment interest attributable to foreign sources (90,000)

(b) If the taxpayer has not elected the overall foreign tax credit limitation, his excess investment interest from France and Germany determined under subdivision (i) of this subparagraph (without regard to the limitation to worldwide excess investment interest) is $40,000 and $60,000 respectively, and his total separately determined excess investment interest is, thus, $10,000. Since the total separately determined excess would exceed the worldwide excess, the limitation to the worldwide excess in subdivision (i) applies and the excess investment interest is determined as follows:
France:

$90,000/$100,000×$40,000=$36,000

Germany:

$90,000/$100,000×$60,000=$54,000

Total excess investment interest attributable to sources within any foreign countries and possessions—$90,000.


Example 3. Assume the same facts as in example (1) except that the taxpayer, in addition has investment income, investment expenses, and investment interest subject to the separate limitation under section 904(f).

(a) If the taxpayer has elected the overall foreign tax credit limitation, his excess investment interest from sources within any foreign countries or possessions of the United States determined under subdivision (ii) of this subparagraph is the same as in (a) of example (1) of this subdivision (vi). He then treats such amount as separately determined excess investment interest attributable to a single foreign country as determined under subdivision (i) of this subparagraph and proceeds as in (b) of example (1) of this subdivision (vi) treating items of income and deduction subject to section 904(f) and from each separate foreign country or possession separately in making the additional determinations under subdivisions (i) and (iv) of this subparagraph.

(b) If the taxpayer has not elected the overall foreign tax credit limitation, his excess investment interest from sources within any foreign country or possession of the United States would be determined in the same manner as in (b) of example (1) treating items of income and deduction which are subject to section 904(f) and from each separate foreign country or possession separately in making the determinations under subdivisions (i) and (iv) of this subparagraph.


(c) Reduction in taxes on United States source income —(1) Overall limitation —(i) In general. If a taxpayer is on the overall foreign tax credit limitation under section 904(a)(2), the items of tax preference determined to be attributable to foreign sources under paragraph (b) of this section reduce the tax imposed by chapter 1 (other than the minimum tax imposed under section 56) on income from sources within the United States for the taxable year to the extent of the smallest of the following three amounts:

( a ) Items of tax preference (other than stock options and capital gains) attributable to sources within a foreign country or possession of the United States,

( b ) The excess (if any) of the total deductions properly allocable or apportionable to items or classes of gross income from sources within foreign countries and possessions of the United States over the gross income from such sources, or

( c ) Taxable income from sources within the United States.

See §1.58–7(b)(2)(iv) with respect to the attribution of certain interest deductions to foreign sources in cases involving the excess investment interest item of tax preference.

(ii) Net operating loss. Where there is an overall net operating loss for the taxable year, to the extent that the lesser of the amounts determined under ( a ) or ( b ) of subdivision (i) of this subparagraph exceeds the taxpayer's taxable income from sources within the United States (and, therefore do not offset taxable income from sources within the United States for the taxable year) the amount of such excess is treated as “suspense preferences.” Suspense preferences are converted to actual items of tax preference, arising in the loss year and subject to the provisions of section 56, as the net operating loss is used in other taxable years, in the form of a net operating loss deduction under section 172, to offset taxable income from sources within the United States. Suspense preferences which, in other taxable years, reduce taxable income from sources within any foreign country or possession of the United States lose their character as suspense preferences and, thus, are never converted into actual items of tax preference. The amount of the suspense preferences which are converted into actual items of tax preference is equal to that portion of the net operating loss attributable to the suspense preferences which offset taxable income from sources within the United States in taxable years other than the loss year. The determination of the component parts of the net operating loss and the determination of the amount by which the portion of the net operating loss attributable to suspense preferences offsets taxable income from sources within the United States is made on a year-by-year basis in the same order as the net operating loss is used in accordance with section 172(b). Such determination is made by applying deductions attributable to U.S. source income first against such income and deductions attributable to foreign source income first against such foreign source income and in accordance with the following principles:

( a ) Deductions attributable to items or classes of gross income from sources within the United States offset taxable income from sources within the United States before any remaining portion of the net operating loss;

( b ) Deductions attributable to items or classes of gross income from sources within foreign countries or possessions of the United States offset taxable income from such sources before any remaining portion of the net operating loss;

( c ) Deductions described in ( b ) of the subdivision (ii) which are not suspense preferences (referred to in this subparagraph as “other foreign deductions”) offset taxable income from sources within foreign countries and possessions of the United States before suspense preferences; and

( d ) Suspense preferences offset taxable income from sources within the United States before other foreign deductions.

For purposes of the above computations, taxable income is computed with the modifications specified in section 172(b)(2) or section 172(c), whichever is applicable. However, the amount of suspense preferences which are converted into actual items of tax preference in accordance with the above principles is reduced to the extent suspense preferences offset increases in taxable income from sources within the United States due to the modifications specified in section 172(b)(2) or section 172(c). For this purpose, suspense preferences are considered to offset an increase in taxable income due to the section 172(b)(2) modifications only after reducing taxable income computed before the section 172(b)(2) or section 172(c) modifications.

(iii) Examples. The principles of this subparagraph may be illustrated by the following examples. In each example the taxpayer is an individual citizen of the United States and has elected the overall foreign tax credit limitation. Personal deductions and exemptions are disregarded for purposes of these examples.

Example 1. In 1974, the taxpayer has the following items of income and deduction:

United States taxable income:
Gross income $750,000
Deductions (250,000) $500,000
Foreign source loss:
Gross income 200,000
Deductions:
Preference items (excess of percentage depletion over basis) $550,000
Other 50,000 (600,000) (400,000)
Overall taxable income 100,000

Pursuant to subdivision (i) of this subparagraph the smallest of (a) the items of tax preference attributable to the foreign sources ($550,000), (b) the foreign source loss ($400,000), or (c) the taxable income from sources within the United States ($500,000) reduces the tax imposed by chapter 1 (other than the minimum tax) on income from sources within the United States. Thus, $400,000 of the $550,000 of excess depletion is treated as an item of tax preference in 1974 subject to the minimum tax.


Example 2. Assume the same facts as in example (1) except that the gross income from sources within the United States is $350,000 resulting in U.S. taxable income of $100,000 and an overall net operating loss of $300,000. Pursuant to subdivision (i) of this subparagraph, $100,000 of the $550,000 excess depletion would be treated as an item of tax preference in 1974 subject to the minimum tax. In addition, pursuant to subdivision (ii) of this subparagraph, the excess of the items of tax preference from foreign sources ($550,000) or the foreign source loss ($400,000), whichever is less, over the U.S. taxable income ($100,000), or, in this example, $300,000, is treated as suspense preferences.

(a) If, in 1971, the taxpayer's total items of income and deduction result in $350,000 of taxable income all of which is from sources within the United States, the entire $300,000 net operating loss, all of which is attributable to suspense preferences, is used to offset U.S. taxable income. Accordingly, the full $300,000 of suspense preferences are converted into actual items of tax preference arising in 1974 and are subject to tax under section 56.

(b) If the $350,000 in 1971 is modified taxable income resulting from the denial of a section 1202 capital gains deduction of $175,000 by reason of section 172(b)(2), the $300,000, otherwise treated as actual items of tax preference, is reduced by $125,000, i.e. , the extent to which the suspense preferences offset U.S. taxable income attributable to the increase in taxable income resulting from the denial of the section 1202 deduction.


Example 3. In 1974, the taxpayer has the following items of income and deduction:

United States loss:
Gross income $75,000
Deductions (225,000)
($150,000)
Foreign loss:
Gross income 400,000
Deductions:
Preference items (excess of accelerated depreciation on sec. 1250 property over straight-line amount) $200,000
Other 550,000 (750,000) (350,000)
Overall net operating loss (500,000)

Since the nonpreference deductions reduce the foreign source income before the preference portion, the $350,000 foreign source loss consists of $200,000 of suspense preferences and $150,000 of other deductions. In 1971, 1972, and 1973 the taxpayer had taxable income from sources within the United States of $100,000, $200,000, and $300,000, respectively and taxable income from sources within foreign countries of $80,000 each year. Of the $200,000 of suspense preferences, $150,000 are converted into actual items of tax preference, subject to the minimum tax in 1974, determined as follows:

[In thousands of dollars]

Year—Explanation Taxable income U.S. deductions Foreign deductions
U.S. source Foreign source Suspense preferences Other
1971 End of year balance before section 58(g) computations 100 80 150 200 150
1. U.S. deductions against U.S. income (100)
(100)
2. Other foreign deductions against foreign income (80) (80)
1972 End of year balance before section 58(g) computations 200 80 50 200 70
1. U.S. deductions against U.S. income (50) (50)
2. Other foreign deductions against foreign income (70) (70)
3. Suspense preferences against foreign income (10) (10)
4. Suspense preferences against U.S. income *(150) *(150)
1973 End of year balance before section 58(g) computations 300 80 40
1. U.S. deductions against U.S. income Not applicable
2. Other foreign deductions against foreign income Not applicable
3. Suspense preference against foreign income (40) (40)
4. Suspense preferences against U.S. income Not applicable
Balances 300 40

*Suspense preferences converted to actual items of tax preference.


Example 4. In 1970, the taxpayer's total items of income and deduction, all of which are attributable to foreign sources, are as follows:

Foreign loss:
Gross income $400,000
Deductions:
Preferences (excess of accelerated depreciation on section 1250 property over straight-line) $200,000
Net operating loss 350,000

Pursuant to subdivision (i) of this subparagraph, none of the preferences attributable to foreign sources reduce the tax imposed by chapter 1 (other than the minimum tax) on taxable income from sources within the United States. Pursuant to subdivision (ii) of this subparagraph, the $200,000 portion of the net operating loss resulting from the excess accelerated depreciation constitutes suspense preferences. No part of the net operating loss that is carried back to previous years is reduced in such previous years. In 1971 and 1972, the taxpayer's income (before the net operating loss deduction) consists of the following:

1971 taxable income:
United States $160,000
Foreign 70,000
Total 230,000
1972 taxable income:
United States 25,000
Foreign 105,000
Total 130,000

#7 Dec 06 2007 at 3:35 PM Rating: Good
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6,760 posts
From there to here,
from here to there,
funny things
are everywhere.

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Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
#8 Dec 06 2007 at 3:49 PM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
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10,293 posts
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead: it's said like bed, not bead;
For goodness' sake, don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat.
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt.)
A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.

-Anon


Edited, Dec 6th 2007 3:49pm by Tare
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What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
#9 Dec 06 2007 at 4:04 PM Rating: Decent
u abandoned the spirit of the thread Nepythys and for that I say thee nay

"A stately pleasure-dome decree" and such but perhaps a more Plathesque bearing

Ozymandius@! Please don't put my head in that oven. OMG call Law & Order criminal intent it was Ted Hughes wat did it! I spy you with my stone eye you tyrant! U taroc pack wtf is a taroc pack
#10 Dec 06 2007 at 4:33 PM Rating: Good
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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19,524 posts
Nice responses, but nepthys does irony like no-one else.

Keep 'em comin'
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"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
#11 Dec 06 2007 at 5:46 PM Rating: Excellent
Gurue
*****
16,299 posts
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?



Fish.
#12 Dec 06 2007 at 5:58 PM Rating: Good
Quote:
Solomon Grundy,
Born on Monday,
Christened on Tuesday,
Married on Wednesday,
Took ill on Thursday,
Worse on Friday,
Died on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday,
And that was the end of Solomon Grundy.

____________________________
"The Rich are there to take all of the money & pay none of the taxes, the middle class is there to do all the work and pay all the taxes, and the poor are there to scare the crap out of the middle class." -George Carlin


#13 Dec 07 2007 at 12:18 AM Rating: Good
Nadenu wrote:
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?



Fish.


Smiley: lol

Edited, Dec 7th 2007 3:18am by allenjj
#14 Dec 07 2007 at 3:34 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
*****
12,065 posts
Edward Lear wrote:

I

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
'O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!'


II

Pussy said to the Owl, 'You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?'
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose,
His nose,
His nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.


III

'Dear pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?' Said the Piggy, 'I will.'
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.


I've always wanted a runcible spoon of my very own.

Nexa

Edited, Dec 7th 2007 6:36am by Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#15 Dec 08 2007 at 2:37 AM Rating: Good
GBATE!! Never saw it coming
Avatar
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9,969 posts
When I was walking on the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish, I wish he'd go away.

-Author Unknown
____________________________
remorajunbao wrote:
One day I'm going to fly to Canada and open the curtains in your office.

#16 Dec 08 2007 at 4:32 AM Rating: Good
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3,212 posts
Gelett Burgesss wrote

The Purple Cow
(Reflections on a Mythic Beast Who's Quite Remarkable, at Least.)
I never saw a purple cow;
I never hope to see one;
but I can tell you anyhow;
I'd rather see than be one!

It became very popular and people were constantly coming up and reciting it. He t wrote a follow up poem.

Ah yes I wrote the Purple Cow
I'm sorry now I wrote it;
I can tell you anyhow;
I'll kill you if you quote it.

If the beloved Ogden hadnt been mentioned I would have quoted him, as I do every time I finish a tour about Baltimore.
But a rate up for Nepthys!
#17 Dec 10 2007 at 10:57 AM Rating: Good
*****
10,601 posts
I'd have to go with ogden nash, I do like lewis carrol though

The ant has made himself illustrious
Through constant industry industrious.
So what?
Would you be calm and placid
If you were full of formic acid?
---------------
Celery, raw
Develops the jaw,
But celery, stewed,
Is more quietly chewed.

Some of his longer stuff gets really odd.
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You'll always be stupid, you'll just be stupid with more information in your brain
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#18 Dec 10 2007 at 11:57 AM Rating: Decent
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13,007 posts
I once wrote a nonsense rhyme myself, but I can only ever remember one line of it:

If monkeys are so cute then how come hairy men are not?

If I can find the rest of it later I'll post it.
#19 Dec 10 2007 at 3:43 PM Rating: Decent
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5,159 posts
brianjweis wrote:
When I was walking on the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish, I wish he'd go away.

-Author Unknown


William Hughes Mearns wrote:
Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
Oh, how I wish he'd go away...


When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn't see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don't you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don't slam the door... (slam!)


Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
Oh, how I wish he'd go away!


Courtesy of Wikiquotes. I always have been a fan of that, and I believe the first time I saw it was in someone's signature on these forums.
#20 Dec 10 2007 at 4:20 PM Rating: Good
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3,212 posts
When I was in High School, my best friend S. Stackwick was fond of saying
"If you're walking down the street, in you red and white canoe, how many how many bicycles are there*? 3 because Ice cream doesnt grow hair.



* Its been too long since I repeated it, forgot the last part so I made up a line close to the original.
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