You know that feeling?Follow

You know, the one where everything is fine and dandy and then something happens and you just want to grab the nearest person, rip their head off and use it as a basketball, slam dunking it in every trash bin, or dribbling it hard across the floor? Yeah, thats the feeling I'm talking about.

What are a few of the things that just make you want to scream? I'll share one of mine. Today I was doing quite fine, juggling the two kids, trying to get my chores done, and taking them out to a fun place to get their pent up energy out on something other than me. I was doing great until I lost one of Ashes shoes (they cost frikkin $30 so I better damn well find it) and had both kids jumping on me, one crying for absolutely no reason, and the other one jumping up and down like a caffeinated jumping bean chanting "MOM MOM MOM MOM" along with "CAN I GET A (insert any toy you can dream of here)? CAN I? OH THATS NOT FAIR!! WHY NOT??? PUHLEASSSE!!! MOM MOM MOM......" and I'm trying to make dinner and I have the youngest super glued to my knee screaming as if his throat had been slit and his 11 month old life was passing him by and he would just DIE IF I DIDNT PICK HIM UP RIGHT THEN even though I had a hot frying pan in one hand while simultaneously trying to chop tomatoes.



well you get the picture. Fortunately for our family, Sick has a good sense of when Im about to go postal, and quickly ran in, scooped both kids up, and hurried them upstairs, locking the doors, so I could cook dinner in peace.

So how about you? What are some of those things that just make you flip out?

Sockpuppets.

I dunno, I'm finding them rather useful. My boss tends to be wordy and distracted in his explanations. Howevere, I found that if I have him "talk to the hand" so to speak, he starts laughing, gets all awkward, can't do it and explains things really quickly and concisely so I'll put it away.

I really wish I was joking

That's one!

Hmm, I want to go postal when people decide to take up both sides of an aisle when you are trying to get in and out of a grocery store. Other thing that annoys me is people who cannot drive but have for some unreason been given a driver's license.

I'll add to that: people who stop in the aisle of a grocery store to chat with a friend, both their carts blocking the aisle; people on a sidewalk who have no sense of others around them and either block the whole sidewalk at a snail's pace, stop suddenly right in front of me, or hang out in the doorway of the store I'm trying to get into/out of; people who leave those enormous goddamn Cadillac baby carriages in the door of the store so they can see it while they pick up their booze or whatever.

Um, yeah. Don't get in my way.

The fuck? Ohhhh right you're one of those "I'm so New York" people griping about others that I kick in front of cabs. **** off or write a coherent post.

New Yorker my ***.

On a side note? Get the fuck out of my way you hayseed twunts, yeah the buidlings are tall. They look best from the middle of the goddamned crosswalk. Stand there and gaze.

Actually, they look best on the LIE just before you get to the Midtown Tunnel...until you get stuck there and sit looking at them for an hour.

That's why you ask the cabbie to take the Triborough and cross above the park.

(granted I live on the west side - which is why I chuckled a bit with Nobby saying "Oh I'll be on 53rd!" Which side, you ignorant cnut. If you're on the east side, W 53rd may as well be Fleet St or vice versa.)

Edited, Nov 13th 2007 12:50am by Celcio

you should "accidentally" call him late tonight and leave the phone by Jacks crib when he wakes up in the middle of the night and starts to cry

There is only one time that I can remember where I went totally postal. The high school that I went to was about 8 miles away or so and everybody that lived in my neighborhood carpooled. There was this one guy that was a total smartass and thought it would be "cute" to keep nudging his car against my back bumper when we were in traffic. After a couple of times of him doing that, I popped my head out the window and yelled at him to cut it out. He wouldn't.

I proceeded to get the worse case of road rage ever (which scared the daylights out of my passengers) and followed that guy all over our neighborhood. When he finally stopped his car, I whipped out of my car, opened his door and flung him out of his seat and told him that if his car ever touched my car again, I was going to whip his ***.

Ever since then, when he saw me at school, in church or just around the neighborhood, he always turned the other way.