I have--HAD--a friend. Primarily an online friend, but I met her and her husband in real life a couple times, and even once we stopped exchanging regular emails and chatting, we kept up with each other on LiveJournal. If you don't know how LJ works, you include people on your friends list and you can follow their journals (as long as they are not made private--and if they are, you can still follow them if you are on THEIR friends list.) Anyway, long story short, she died a couple months ago, and in order to keep her friends abreast of what was going on with regards to the inquiry into her death and to surround himself with the comfort of people who knew and cared about her, her husband took over and began posting to her LiveJournal.
Normally, this would be a red flag for me. A supposed loved-one suddenly intruding upon a supposedly deceased person's internet hang-out to watch the post-"death" fallout is a big sign of a Munchaussen-by-Internet death hoax. But no, there was a real obituary, a real memorial service, and I am acquainted with real people who attended the real memorial service, so it's not a hoax, it's the real deal.
Nevertheless, there is something about the way her husband behaves when posting to her LiveJournal that hits my "oh, brother!
" buttons. Maybe I'm not giving him enough credit for the pain he's going through--I've never lost a beloved spouse and maybe it's 100% legitimate. But every post is, "God, I wish I had died instead!" and "Oh, I wish I were dead, she was my everything" and "I've got to have friends stay with me 24/7 now to make sure I don't harm myself" and blah blah sob emo sob blah. I've expressed my sympathy to her husband, but beyond that, I really don't feel qualified to respond to him when he makes these posts. We weren't close enough for me to offer him more interactive comfort. So instead, I find myself getting increasingly uncomfortable whenever I see his posts. Maybe his grief is legit, but I don't feel like it's a grief that I should be privy to. Even though I really liked her, and enjoyed meeting her and her husband, I'm not close enough to him to share this grief.
And yet, I feel like a ***** for considering removing the journal that formerly belonged to her from my friends list so I don't have to see these posts anymore. Like I'm a cold-hearted hag for "abandoning" her husband when he's hurting, even though there is absolutely nothing I have to offer him by way of comfort.
So, what should I do? Just un-friend her journal and leave him to grieve surrounded by people much better qualified to help him than I am? Am I being a total ***** for considering it?
