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Creapiest "Pet" Ever?Follow

#1 Sep 16 2007 at 3:23 PM Rating: Good
Meet the Genpet!

Screenshot



    What the Hell is it?


Quote:
Say Hello to the all New Genpetsâ„¢ from Bio.Genica!
The Genpetsâ„¢ are Pre-Packaged, Bioengineered pets implemented today!

That’s right, Genpets are not toys or robots. They are living, breathing genetic animals.

We use a process called "Zygote Micro Injection" which is quickly becoming a favourable method to combine DNA, or to insert certain proteins from different species. Most notably it was used in 1997 to splice mice with bioluminescent jellyfish (link) and has since been used to create glowing rabbits, pigs, fish, and monkeys (link). Since then, human DNA has been injected into rabbits, chimpanzees, spider DNA into sheep, and now, Genpets have arrived!


So...it's some sort of animal(s) injected with human DNA. It looks kinda human, it's alive, and depending on what model you get can live anywhere from 1 to 3 years.

    Features:


Quote:
01. Genpetâ„¢
The Only Bioengineered Buddy. Available in 7 different personality types.

02. Color Coding
Each personality type of the Genpets has been linked to its respective colour, and that color is then used as a base for each package. (Read more)

03. Heart Monitor
Each package has a built in low cost heart monitor that is fully functional, with green LED lights and built in speaker. (Read more)

04. Fresh Strip
Every single package includes an easy to use "fresh gauge". Four simple blue LED lights display the status of the Genpetâ„¢. The display will also display if the Genpetâ„¢ has been sitting on the store shelf too long, or if the package circuitry has malfunctioned in some way. (Read more)

05. Bio-Genica IV System
While the Genpets hang on the store shelves they are in a form of hibernation. Each Genpetâ„¢ package has a special nutrient feeding tube attached to it, supplying our specially formulated mix and keeping them healthy and asleep.

06. Genpetâ„¢ Restraints
Restraining the pets in their packaging ensures no damage to the product, as well as allowing for optimal consumer viewing.

(*Genpetâ„¢ life may vary depending on temperature and Genpet â„¢ freshness)


From their FAQ:

Are Genpets Real animals? How?
Quote:
Genpets are living, breathing mammals. Bio-Genica is a Bioengineering Company that has combined, and modified existing DNA to create the Genpets lineup. Genpets have blood, bones, and muscle; they will bleed if you cut them, and die if mistreated just like any other animal. The electronic components are only in the packages and are for basic life support, outside of the packages the Genpets are wholly organic.


Do Genpets show emotions?
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Yes. This is part of why we have colour coded the Genpets. They come in seven different personality types. Each personality type shows slightly different emotions.


Do Genpets Talk?
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Genpets have limited vocal chords for the convenience of parents. However, they do make some sound.


Do Genpets bite?
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Genpets should not bite, however Bio-Genica does sell the tooth remover kit.


How are the personalities controlled?
Quote:
The Genpet feeding packs are color coded and specially formulated with a custom drug mixture that can be used to control the Genpet, much like human drugs can such as Ritalin or Lithium and other behaviour modifying drugs. Thus we can calm them, or stimulate them without extra tampering to the DNA structure


They aren't for sale, yet.
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#2 Sep 16 2007 at 3:26 PM Rating: Good
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If these are real animals being sold this part really bothers me:

Quote:
Do Genpets bite?
Quote:
Genpets should not bite, however Bio-Genica does sell the tooth remover kit.


Of course, the whole thing bothers me in general

#3 Sep 16 2007 at 3:32 PM Rating: Good
Anyone else remember the frozen alien Skully found in the 2nd or 3rd season of the X-Files?

Kinda looks like it's sister.
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"The Rich are there to take all of the money & pay none of the taxes, the middle class is there to do all the work and pay all the taxes, and the poor are there to scare the crap out of the middle class." -George Carlin


#4 Sep 16 2007 at 3:36 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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TILT
Finally, someone to keep my Bonsai Kitten company!
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#5 Sep 16 2007 at 3:37 PM Rating: Excellent
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fake. someone in canukistan yell at him please. though the numbers might be fake too
since it was a thesis. i guess we don't have to yell at him.

Edited, Sep 16th 2007 5:32pm by Kaolian
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#6 Sep 16 2007 at 3:51 PM Rating: Excellent
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Creepiest Pet Ever!

Screenshot
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#7 Sep 16 2007 at 3:59 PM Rating: Good
Tracer Bullet
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Dread Lörd Kaolian wrote:
fake. someone in canukistan yell at him please. though the numbers might be fake too
numbers was here

Well I don't know what's worse, people thinking it was a real website, or people using e-peen spy powers to try to chastise a satirist.



Edited, Sep 16th 2007 5:32pm by Kaolian
#8 Sep 16 2007 at 4:06 PM Rating: Excellent
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The former. definitly.
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#9 Sep 16 2007 at 4:27 PM Rating: Decent
The guy apparently did the site as part of his thesis.

I'd like to thank Jebus that these aren't real.
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"The Rich are there to take all of the money & pay none of the taxes, the middle class is there to do all the work and pay all the taxes, and the poor are there to scare the crap out of the middle class." -George Carlin


#10 Sep 16 2007 at 4:31 PM Rating: Excellent
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ok, if its part of a thesis i guess we don't have to yell at him.
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#11 Sep 16 2007 at 4:45 PM Rating: Good
You can yell at him if you like. There's still something wrong about this.

Screenshot
____________________________
"The Rich are there to take all of the money & pay none of the taxes, the middle class is there to do all the work and pay all the taxes, and the poor are there to scare the crap out of the middle class." -George Carlin


#12 Sep 16 2007 at 6:34 PM Rating: Decent
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Oh, a thesis was it? When I read the OP, I presumed it was a site belonging to an anti genetic science group.
#13 Sep 16 2007 at 7:35 PM Rating: Excellent
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I actually looked up the museum they mention on the site just to see if they had some big denouncement or something. They actually acknowledged the exhibit but call Brandjs the "Artist" rather than a scientist or anything.
Power House Museum wrote:
5. Genpets - an installation from Canada
genpets on the net

Artist Adam Brandejs’ on demand pets will be on display in the Powerhouse shop. Meet with Market researcher Sonja from Genpets to discuss the outcomes of biotechnology and life support research.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#14 Sep 16 2007 at 7:43 PM Rating: Decent
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This page took forever to load.

2MENYPICS!!1..Smiley: mad

Ok, I didn't for a second buy into this, but wouldn't it be cool to have a bio-pet?

..wonder if it would be against the law to abuse them?
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I lost my post
#15 Sep 17 2007 at 4:15 AM Rating: Default
Quote:
You can yell at him if you like. There's still something wrong about this.


Roflol!
Darn rignt!
#16 Sep 17 2007 at 4:42 AM Rating: Default
Is it wrong that I want one?
#17 Sep 17 2007 at 6:15 AM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
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Friar Katie wrote:
Is it wrong that I want one?


Symptomatic, maybe.
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#18 Sep 17 2007 at 8:11 AM Rating: Excellent
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Friar Katie wrote:
Do these things ever abort?
FTFY
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#19 Sep 17 2007 at 8:12 AM Rating: Good
I heard you're not supposed to feed these things after midnight and are supposed to keep them away from water.
#20 Sep 17 2007 at 8:47 AM Rating: Good
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Elderon wrote:
I heard you're not supposed to feed these things after midnight and are supposed to keep them away from water.


What about bright light?
#21 Sep 17 2007 at 8:59 AM Rating: Good
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That thing looks like an aborted fetus.
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#22 Sep 17 2007 at 9:42 AM Rating: Decent
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Thought this was going to be about pot belly pigs. Who the hell owns a pig as an indoor pet?
#23 Sep 17 2007 at 12:44 PM Rating: Good
wow
#24 Sep 17 2007 at 12:46 PM Rating: Decent
As social commentary, I think it is brilliant and funny.
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