War-Mongers!!!Follow

Ugh. Well, the French did elect a horrible right-wing "@#%^ You" President, instead of the intelligent good-looking left-wing female alternative. I'm not surprised he's turned out to be a war monger.

When it drives an thriving economy into the dirt the worst since FDR. At least FDR had 2 excuses, his right leg and his left leg.

Someone please tell me when war became such a bad thing.

[Arthur and the Knights arrive at a castle.]
Arthur: Hello? [long silence] Hello!
[A guard appears. He speaks with a French accent.]
Frenchman: 'Allo! Whoo ez eet?
Arthur: It is King Arthur, and these are my Knights of the Round Table. Whose castle is this?
Frenchman: Zis is the castle of my master, Guy de Loembard.
Arthur: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for this night, he can join us in our Quest for the Holy Grail.
Frenchman: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't zink he'll be very keen... Uh, he's already got one, you see.
Arthur: What?
Galahad: He says they've already got one!
Arthur: Are you sure he's got one?
Frenchman: Oh, yes, it's very nice-a. [to other Frenchmen] I told him we already got one. [they snicker in a very French manner]
Arthur: Well, uh... Can we come up and have a look?
Frenchman: Of course not! You are English types.
Arthur: Well, what are you then?
Frenchman: I'm French! Why do you zink I have zis outrageous accent, you silly king?!
Galahad: What are you doing in England?
Frenchman: Mind your own business!
Arthur: [sternly] If you do not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!
Frenchman: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-nnnnnnnniggits! [makes taunting gestures at them]
Galahad: What a strange person.
Arthur: Now look here, my good man —
Frenchman: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
[pause]
Galahad: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
Frenchman: A-no! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
[slight pause]
Arthur: Now this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable...
Frenchman: [speaks in French to another Frenchman] Fetchez la vache.
2nd Frenchman: Quoi?
Frenchman: Fetchez la vache!
[Yet another Frenchman is seen preparing a cow for something. Arthur is still speaking outside.]
Arthur: If you do not agree with my commands, then I shall —
[The cow whizzes through the air with a loud BOING!]
Arthur: JESUS CHRIST!
[The cow squashes one of the "horses".]
Arthur: Right! [draws sword] CHARGE!!!
[The Knights charge at the French castle. The French drop more animals on them, and a battle begins.]
Frenchman: Yeah, this one is for your mother! There you go! And this one's for your dad!
[The Knights quickly lose courage.]
Arthur: Run away!
Knights: Run away! Run away!...
[Arthur and the Knights retreat and hide behind a ridge of land near the woods. The French jeer after them.]
Lancelot: Fiends, I'll tear them apart!
Arthur: [stops him] No, no.
Bedevere: [to Arthur] Sir? I have a plan, sir...
[Fade to black.]