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#1 Aug 15 2007 at 10:38 AM Rating: Good
Nobby
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Hollywood star Matt Damon has dismissed James Bond as being stuck in the past.

The actor, who appears in the Bourne thrillers, said: "The Bond character will always be anchored in the 1960s and in the values of the 1960s."

The suave spy was "so anachronistic when you put it in the world we live in today", he said

Linky

So. . .
Who would win in a fight between James Bond and Jason Bourne?
Like, Bourne would totally kick the limey ***'s ***:48 (55.2%)
Why, the colonial fop would be pummelled to blancmange if he got in 007's way:39 (44.8%)
Total:87
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#2 Aug 15 2007 at 10:49 AM Rating: Good
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"Bourne is a serial monogamist whose girlfriend is dead and he does nothing but think about her."


Me thinks someone is a little unsure of the concept.
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#3 Aug 15 2007 at 10:51 AM Rating: Decent
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Bourne destroys Bond by a landslide. The studios know this also, hence the "reboot" to make Bond more of a badass in Casino Royale.
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#4 Aug 15 2007 at 10:51 AM Rating: Excellent
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In general fisticuffs, I'd go Bourne but I took the question to mean both guys getting a "Stop Bourne/Bond" assignment and going at it. In which case Bond would get better toys and win.

Maxwell Smart could take them both though. And keep Agent 99 alive in the process.
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#5 Aug 15 2007 at 10:53 AM Rating: Decent
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Bond has success insurance that Bourne will never have.

Miss Moneypenny.




I've not seen any of the Bourne movies but Matt Damon is just a pimply faced kid isn't he?
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#6 Aug 15 2007 at 10:55 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
Agent 99 could take them both though. And keep Maxwell Smart alive in the process.


Smiley: nod
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#7 Aug 15 2007 at 10:56 AM Rating: Good
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The first two Bourne outings - The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supremacy - made more than $500 (£250m) at the worldwide box office


Smiley: laugh I had no idea that the pound was doing so poorly over there! Smiley: laugh
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#8 Aug 15 2007 at 10:56 AM Rating: Good
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It is entirely irrelevant who would win in a fight. James Bond will always get more p'ussy, and for that simple fact alone he wins at life.

Edited, Aug 15th 2007 2:57:04pm by bodhisattva
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#9 Aug 15 2007 at 10:58 AM Rating: Good
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Bond would win because Bond is proactive in finding and destroying his enemies, whilst Bourne is reactive, finding and destroying those that try to hurt him first, who are inept, luckily for Bourne. If Bond and Bourne were to be opposing, Bourne would not even know it until after Bond took him out, and Bond is not inept like those others.
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#10 Aug 15 2007 at 1:39 PM Rating: Good
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Honestly though, in a "stop Bourne/Bond" assignment, neither one would succeed.

Bourne would never find Bond since he'd be looking in all the smart and clever places that spies would normally hide out. Bond, meanwhile would be flashing cash and tux at the local casino. Bourne would assume no one in the business would ever be that obvious and never think to look there.

Bond would never find Bourne because the only way Bond ever finds anyone is if they find him at the casino first. Either that, or Bourne would have to build some super secret base complete with "death ray". Since neither fits Bourne's MO that's just not going to happen.
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#11 Aug 15 2007 at 1:45 PM Rating: Good
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I find more relevant, who's better in bed? Bond or Bourne?

I think I just found my new dream threesome.
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#12 Aug 15 2007 at 1:46 PM Rating: Good
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Allakhazam ftw.
But if you wanted to have winner in a cage match between Double O Seven and some character in a Robert Ludlum novel who spends an inordinate amount of time in France, Bonds wins in, oh, about 5 or 6 seconds in the first round. That French surrender monkey disease is very catching.

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#13 Aug 15 2007 at 1:46 PM Rating: Decent
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Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
I find more relevant, who's better in bed? Bond or Bourne?

I think I just found my new dream threesome.


But which Bond?


pics prz
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#14 Aug 15 2007 at 1:51 PM Rating: Good
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Althrun the Silent wrote:
But which Bond?
What's so interesting about that question is that a year ago it would be redundant. Bond=Sean Connery.

Now, that young Mr Craig does seemed to have restarted the 007 credibility.

I'm not talking about threesomability

Seriously.

Bourne > 007 as played by Lazenby, Moore, Dalton & Brosnan

Sean Connery > Bourne (No contest)

Jason Bourne V Dan Craig's Bond? . . . Hmmm (Strokes long-haired white cat)

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#15 Aug 15 2007 at 1:53 PM Rating: Decent
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Lord Nobby wrote:
Althrun the Silent wrote:
But which Bond?
What's so interesting about that question is that a year ago it would be redundant. Bond=Sean Connery.


Smiley: nod
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#16 Aug 15 2007 at 1:56 PM Rating: Good
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Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
I think I just found my new dream threesome.

/slings bowler hat onto coat-peg

Shooo Mish Thumbelyna. Would you like to be shaken or shtirred?
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#17 Aug 15 2007 at 2:06 PM Rating: Good
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Please, Bourne destroys Bond. All Bonds!

Some things to keep in mind:

1- Bond almost always gets captured by the villain and strapped to table with a laser/large saw/self-destruct device used to destroy him, but only AFTER the villain flees. Anyone who gets captured that much is toast against someone like Bourne.

2- Bourne was a highly successful assassin until he got an attack of the ethical heebie-jeebies. If the Bond vs. Bourne takes place before said attack, Bourne simply puts a bullet in Bonds brain immediately after capturing him. If it takes place afterwards, Bourne rips him apart in mano-a-mano combat.

With that having been said, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Daniel Craig is my favorite bond to date. Even better than Connery (that's right, I said it).

And while Maxwell Smart and Agent 99 might combine to beat either of the other super spies, individually they'd be no match. Lancelot Link, on the other hand rules all.
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#18 Aug 15 2007 at 2:27 PM Rating: Decent
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Jophiel wrote:
In general fisticuffs, I'd go Bourne but I took the question to mean both guys getting a "Stop Bourne/Bond" assignment and going at it. In which case Bond would get better toys and win.

I still think Bourne with a Bic pen and magazine would beat Bond and his laser wristwatch and rocket car.
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#19 Aug 15 2007 at 2:31 PM Rating: Good
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Debalic wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
In general fisticuffs, I'd go Bourne but I took the question to mean both guys getting a "Stop Bourne/Bond" assignment and going at it. In which case Bond would get better toys and win.

I still think Bourne with a Bic pen and magazine would beat Bond and his laser wristwatch and rocket car.


I'm sorry, are we talking Bourne or Macgyver?

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#20 Aug 15 2007 at 2:47 PM Rating: Decent
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Celcio wrote:
Debalic wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
In general fisticuffs, I'd go Bourne but I took the question to mean both guys getting a "Stop Bourne/Bond" assignment and going at it. In which case Bond would get better toys and win.

I still think Bourne with a Bic pen and magazine would beat Bond and his laser wristwatch and rocket car.

I'm sorry, are we talking Bourne or Macgyver?

In BI he fights one of his assassins with a ballpoint pen. In BS he uses a rolled-up magazine against a knife-wielding assailant, then burns down the apartment with it. I can only assume that he uses a baseball cap to win a fight in BU. He fights with random objects like Jackie Chan does.
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we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
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#21 Aug 15 2007 at 2:55 PM Rating: Good
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I still think Bourne with a Bic pen and magazine would beat Bond and his laser wristwatch and rocket car.

Crazy talk. Bond would be asshumping him face down on the Champs Elyes while Bourne cried and said "Oh, James".

So largely, it would closely resemble a documentary about RedPhoenixx's youth.

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#22 Aug 15 2007 at 3:05 PM Rating: Good
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Bourne maybe good but he's only one man and MI6 own sniper rifles.

no way you would try and take this man in hand to hand, one shot 500 yards in the head. end of problem.

As he is against Bond i have only three words

Naval gun support.
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#23 Aug 15 2007 at 3:13 PM Rating: Decent
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Naval gun support.

Has the British navy ever actually won a battle that didn't involve an iberian armada?
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

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#24 Aug 15 2007 at 3:13 PM Rating: Excellent
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I always thought Bond was meant to be satirical, like a caricature of the type of archetype. So yeah, Bourne wins.
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#25 Aug 15 2007 at 3:15 PM Rating: Good
Nobby
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Smasharoo wrote:

Naval gun support.

Has the British navy ever actually won a battle that didn't involve an iberian armada?
/covers eyes
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#26 Aug 15 2007 at 3:16 PM Rating: Good
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I always thought Bond was meant to be satirical, like a caricature of the type of archetype.

Bourne isn't??? The brain washed killing machine who loses his memory, but regains it suddenly in surprising fashion and decides to turn the tables on his creators? Give me a ******* break, the whole concept is a caricature of cheesy writing cynically aimed at the 35-50 male market. It's as hackneyed as a book about a black woman and her friends going to Barbados on vacation and meeting waiters that look like male models, love to **** old women, and are secretly heirs to giant banana fortunes.
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To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

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