So apparently, I'm killing my grandmother.Follow

What a night. My grandmother is in the hospital with cancer (the prognosis is not good) so I went to visit her. Aside from my car refusing to start as I attempted to leave, being locked out of the hospital visitor entrance and having to walk all the way around to the emergency entrance, then getting nearly blown over by storm winds (I thought I was in a ******* tornado)...

My grandmother informs me tonight that it is essentially her last wish that I find Jesus before she dies. I'm a pretty adamant agnostic (though if I weren't open minded about it, I wouldn't be a very good agnostic), and this kind of **** gets old fast.

It occurred to me semi-recently that one of the reasons that Christianity is so "successful" as a religion is that one of its major tenets is to recruit others to the faith, thereby earning greater favor with the big guy. What had NOT really occurred to me is that in addition to that heavenly incentive Christianity offers, there is the added belief that you will be reunited with your loved ones in heaven (not all Christians believe this but many do), so even aside from the whole going to heaven thing, is the "oh and recruit your loved ones especially because otherwise you'll never see them again after you die" thing.

But anyway, she explains to me that her faith in God is the only thing keeping her going, so what the hell am I supposed to say to that? Explain to her why I don't believe in Christianity, thereby killing her? The best I could do was give a half-hearted, "Well, I hope if there is a God, I realize it before I die," but that didn't seem to pacify her concerns. I love my grandmother, but there is little more irritating to me than getting lectured about Christianity to someone who knows even less about it than I do. Even as an agnostic I'm a better Christian than most of the professed Christians I've met, aside from the whole "accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior" thing.

So I reluctantly agreed to give a little more objective analysis towards the consideration of Christianity. I'm supposed to see a pastor in the next couple of days who apparently has some very compelling evidence, but in the mean time, if anyone has anything enlightening, I'm all eyes and ears.

I agree with tare, just tell her you found Jesus, and that he was a top bloke.

Really, it doesn't matter. If there is no God, you'll never see your grand-ma again, so its not like she'll ever find out.

And if there is one, well, a fake conversion is better than no conversion at all.

You've got nothing to lose, and you can make your grand-ma happy.

It's a no-brainer, really.



Like the South Koreans taken hostage in Afghanistan. How fUcking stupid can you be? There's a war going on, and they take 20 of their friends to try to convert some of the most hardcore and dedicated Muslims on the planet.

And then act all surprised when the locals aren't grateful.

Go to the local transient mexican workers corner and ask for "Jesus." When one steps up, give him $10 and thank him. Then go tell your granny you found Jesus and donated money to thank him for it.

All kidding aside, she needs reassurance that when she dies there will be something more and that she will one day see you there again. You should give her that or at least some hope of that. Since she is on her death bed, the least you can do is go to a church and light a candle and say a prayer, and let her know you did that.

Edited, Aug 13th 2007 9:34am by fhrugby

Is it easy to tell is someone was smotherd with a pillow nowadays?

As the other posters have stated, better to lie and tell her that you are going to church next Sunday for the first time. Make sure you know the name of the church and appropriate mass time. That little white lie will make an old lady happy.

I have an 85 year old grandma who believes the world revolves around her, also. Most of us probably have some sort of family member that is that way. Its really kinda sad in a way.

As far as the catholic thing goes, My wife and I were married in a Lutheran church (though I am agnostic too). All my good friends from my Easton, PA childhood and their family were catholic. When it came to communion time, they all chose to sit and not recieve communion because it was not a catholic mass. We didn't care either way. We actually get a kick out of it.

I have met more intelligent, happy, fun loving, and caring people who have never stepped foot inside a church then most "religious" people I have known.

What happened to Mr.NiceNeph?

So, Christian, huh?

I'll make a deal with you. I'll keep posting, and you can keep rating me down. Just spare me the "stop posting" ********* because it hasn't worked the last fifty times, and it sure as hell ain't swaying me now.


@ Rime-- Yeah, it does sound pretty oxymoronic, but it's true. There are agnostics who are in a religious limbo, but I'm not one of them. I don't believe in any religion and I probably never will, because it makes no sense in me to believe in something. It's not just a religious thing-- it permeates every facet of my day-to-day. Doubt and skepticism have served me well, and I like to stay that way. Like a lot of agnostics, I lean heavily towards atheism as being a more plausible reality, but I also think it's ignorant to presume that there is no god.

Some agnostics just think that it's impossible to know-- there's nothing wishy-washy about that.*


Anyway, since I'm stuck in this hell hole for another couple of days at least, I'll go see this pastor and maybe lie to my grandma, but if I do, and she lives, I swear to God* that I will never stop tormenting you all with incessant rambling the likes which you've never seen, and you'll never get rid of me, even after a thousand sub-defaults, if it means that I'll be making new accounts for every other post.

That's ok, I think I'm going to make my own chart for sticker stars, and then if I ever feel blue, I'll just look at it and all the bad will go away.

And maybe Saint Peter will be able to count it as a comp or something. I know they said he won't, but maybe if I bring it anyway, well, you know, like some people will honor expired coupons just because you're already there, just to avoid that awkward situation.

But then again, he is basically a bouncer, and bouncers are usually ******

Hopefully the old ***** dies soon so you can stop dealing with her ******** guilt trips.

Don't lie to the old bat, just tell her it's your life and you're going to lead it anyway you want. I say never let anyone sway your beliefs (or lack thereof). It's a decision you have to come to terms with, not the walking formaldehyde tank with blue hair.

My grandmother informs me tonight that it is essentially her last wish that I find Jesus before she dies. I'm a pretty adamant agnostic (though if I weren't open minded about it, I wouldn't be a very good agnostic), and this kind of sh*t gets old fast.

Lie to her, idiot. Having an ethical code that prohibits you from lying to your dying grandmother is orders of magnitude stupider than believing in God.

Yeah, but those are just words. To really impress her, nail her to a Cross and say it's what Baby Jebus told you to do.

That's not a bad idea. It's definitely easier to **** emaciated corpses if they're hanging upright and you can use their old wheelchair to position yourself.

Meh, I am open-minded, though skeptical. I was told that this person had some argument compelling enough that it turned atheists into Christians. I don't believe it, but I'm willing to give it a chance. At the least it will give me some prep time to formulate an argument against it those who try to bring reason into faith right until the point where they give the old, "Well you just gotta believe, or else it wouldn't be faith." As for the pastor, apparently he's very laid back and down to earth. I'm told he dresses casually and is friendly, because he thinks stuffy guys make people feel uncomfortable coming to church.



I'm not so much sure it's a matter of ethics as it is that I'm too lazy to keep up the facade. I readily lie when it's simple, convenient, practical, or in the common best interest. Unfortunately I'm not sure it's any of the above in this case.

Ah ha! Proof!

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=bizarre&id=5563034