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#27 Jul 22 2007 at 8:01 PM Rating: Excellent
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Well that sucks. At least you didn't give her a ring and have her say no then or something. Maybe its for the best?
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#28 Jul 23 2007 at 1:29 AM Rating: Excellent
It does suck, and having random people telling you how to deal with your relationship on a gamin forum can't be much of a crutch during those times, so i'll chip in with my uninformed 2 cents:

From everything i've read from you about that relationship, she wasn't the right person for you. If she had been, you wouldn't have been fretting about moving to Ottawa, or having "the talk", or any of those things. And she must've felt it, since she told you not to move with her.

It's all for the best. I'd use the money to got travelling, it's the best way to find cute, unattached girls, and seeing the world always makes you realise that what you've lost isn't so bad.

And strip clubs are really cheap in Mexico.

Well anyway, all the best, and remember that, as my dad used to say, "there are millions of kinds of flowers in the world."

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#29 Jul 23 2007 at 1:39 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Jophiel wrote:
I could give some kind words but I'm going to just go the selfish route and say you should go to Allanois.


It'd be good for him...we're very distracting!!

Nexa
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#30 Jul 23 2007 at 3:27 AM Rating: Excellent
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Nexa wrote:
It'd be good for him...we're very distracting!!
Yes, Nexa and I will even be ambivalent towards our SO's in your honor, just so you don't get the blues.
#31 Jul 23 2007 at 4:02 AM Rating: Excellent
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Atomicflea wrote:
Nexa wrote:
It'd be good for him...we're very distracting!!
Yes, Nexa and I will even be ambivalent towards our SO's in your honor, just so you don't get the blues.


pffft, they can find something to argue about while we dance with Bodhi. We can make them up a list of possible topics ahead of time.

Nexa
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― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#32 Jul 23 2007 at 4:19 AM Rating: Excellent
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Late to the ball, but sorry to hear it all the same, Bhodi.

Still, Chicago would love to have you.
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#33 Jul 23 2007 at 7:31 AM Rating: Good
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I'm doing ok, been hanging out with friends a lot and keeping myself busy. The beauty of posting on the internet is that no one is telling me what I want to hear. Plus the Drama Smiley: llama needs to be fed. I can easily afford a plane ticket to Chi-town, just sorting somethings out before I sink the money into it. I am looking at colleges here to find and will hopefully apply for something starting in January to give me some time to earn some extra bank since going to school and working full time is gonna suck. Looking for new apartments makes me sad though.

I got a phonecall at work yesterday for the 'ex' girlfriend and she was wanted to talk and ended it off by saying 'she loves me' which was great. Nothing like the emotional clusterf'uck of an ambiguous breakup with hinted signs of reconciliation. I figured the best thing to do is to write if off and hold out no hope of getting back together with her, I've seen enough friends get into that situation when there relationships go on the rocks and it has always ended badly.
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#34 Jul 23 2007 at 7:34 AM Rating: Excellent
She sounds manipulative. You'll probably never have real closure unless you choke her to death.
#35 Jul 23 2007 at 7:35 AM Rating: Excellent
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If I can give unsolicited advice which is infinately easier to give than to act on -- stay broken up and don't get back together. It sounds as if trying to drag it out will just delay the inevitable until after you've schelpped across Canada, moved in together, got a new job, etc etc. Cut to the chase and stay where you are.
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#36 Jul 23 2007 at 7:35 AM Rating: Good
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Grandfather Barkingturtle wrote:
She sounds manipulative. You'll probably never have real closure unless you choke her to death.


I was going to fill a burlap sack full of twoonies and beat her with it, the marks are harder to identify.
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#37 Jul 23 2007 at 7:54 AM Rating: Excellent
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Even knowing it's the right thing to do, breaking up is still hard. That's true for the breaker as well as the breakee.

Having said that, it's unfair of her to burden you with her remorse. That's hers to bear. You have quite enough to deal with at the moment.

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#38 Jul 23 2007 at 8:02 AM Rating: Decent
Blech. Having the talk sucks, then for her to turn around with wanting to talk AGAIN and the love part. That fucking sucks.

She seems to be a prime case of how you should spell the word "woman": T-r-o-u-b-l-e
(No offense ladies, it's just how it is. The g/f agrees with it, so please, don't smite me.)


I dunno what to suggest. Mostly because you've been scarce on the details of why, just listing the end result.
#39 Jul 23 2007 at 8:03 AM Rating: Excellent
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bodhisattva wrote:
That or pick up an asian girl, I heard they have sidewise vaginas (thumb you need to post a pick proving/disproving this or else stay out of the conversation)


Smiley: lol Fuck you Bodhi.

I will be sweet and tell you that I'm glad that things are finally resolving for you in a way that you know had to be, but just couldn't do it on your own. Look at it this way, your ex realized what you needed and cared enough about you to give it to you.
#40 Jul 23 2007 at 8:22 AM Rating: Good
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To be truthful I have to say my ramblings on this forum are not a accurate representation of the troubles of the relationship. A lot of the time it was just me talking about the petty sh'it I was trying to work out in my head and getting feedback from strangers. Did me and my girlfriend have debates about the move to ottawa like my ramblings on this forum, obviously not it was just a way for me to get out on paper and perhaps get some feedback my issues with being afraid to make such a big commitment while knowing that I was absolutely not wanting to lose the girl. Perhaps I demonized her in order to justify my own position.

Obviously it is hard for you the reader not to fall back on pre-set stereotypes of what situations like this are like and make judgment calls based on that to fill in an incomplete knowledge of the relationship. Since the last time we had break up drama (about 14 months ago) I have to say that she is the one that picked up her game while I am the one that has taken things for granted. My fear of growing up (refusing to entertain becoming a parent, openly admitting desire for marriage) as well as some other things are what led to the break up.

I put it all out on the line and said 'I love you as much as the first time I said it and I am willing to do anything to make this work' is as just as unfair to her as her calling me back and saying 'I love you' because for her to break it off was (as others have stated) equally hard and the chance that 14 months from now we end up back in the same position is equally as possible. Obviously we are feel pretty strongly for each other and we both want to make it work but there is the good chance it won't based on past experience but working out how you feel and what you should do is hard when you are feeling 200 things at exactly the same time.

/shrug

As it stands though the forum advice is good, harden myself to the inevitable, try to make it easy on her if that is what she chooses cause I'd never want to hurt her, don't allow myself to get stuck in any delusions of getting back together if it ain't gonna happen. A clean break is better. Talking the sh*t out helps me figure out where I stand on it though, thanks again for the sympathies and the flames.

Edited, Jul 23rd 2007 12:24pm by bodhisattva
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#41 Jul 23 2007 at 8:40 AM Rating: Excellent
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Only you can argue two points made by the same poster as if they were diametrically opposite.

There are different ways to say "I love you." The fact that how she said it left you feeling ambiguously hopeful says to me that she was not being fair to you by saying it at all.

It's up to the breaker to take the high road, even though she's also having a hard time adjusting. That's all I'm saying.

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#42 Jul 23 2007 at 8:48 AM Rating: Good
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Samira wrote:
Only you can argue two points made by the same poster as if they were diametrically opposite.


It's a skill!
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#43 Jul 23 2007 at 9:14 AM Rating: Good
Love hurts. Booze doesn't.

Drink your worries away! [:booze:]
#44 Jul 23 2007 at 9:31 AM Rating: Excellent
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Nobby wrote:
bodhisattva wrote:
Other than a possible trip to Chicago
Darqflame - vulnerable bloke alert.

(In the unlikely event that he's doable, don't break him) Smiley: sly


Rate down and GFY -- oh wait, you do that now anyway! So I'd do him just to spite you, ugly or not. Smiley: grin
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#45 Jul 23 2007 at 9:38 AM Rating: Good
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Bodhi eye humping DF

I'd hit ya up regardless of nobby but I heard you go fast enough to give friction burns. Don't think I am ready for that!

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#46 Jul 23 2007 at 9:41 AM Rating: Excellent
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bodhisattva wrote:

That's... frightening. Smiley: yikes
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#47 Jul 23 2007 at 9:45 AM Rating: Good
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My positive self image is now shattered more thoroughly than any money shot photoshopping could ever do

/resigns from twiztidsamuraiheterofanclub
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#48 Jul 23 2007 at 10:03 AM Rating: Excellent
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Better?
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Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.

#49 Jul 23 2007 at 10:04 AM Rating: Excellent
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Bodhi's kinda cute! Smiley: wink2
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#50 Jul 23 2007 at 10:06 AM Rating: Good
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Demea wrote:




Smiley: laugh
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#51 Jul 23 2007 at 12:45 PM Rating: Good
Sorry to hear it Bodhi. But now this clears the way for a Bodhi & Nexa drunken hook up in Allanois.
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