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#1 Jul 11 2007 at 12:23 PM Rating: Excellent
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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Woke this morning to a phone call from Tibet telling me that I appear to be the reincarnation of the next Dalai Lama. Apparently I get to pick my own hours, and I only have to wear a table-cloth and eat Yak-cheese if the TV cameras are running. Didn't expect it, but life's like that.

So I was feeling pretty good on my way to work when I noticed a Ferrari broken down by the side of the road. Flat Tyre Smiley: frown Turned out that the 19 year-old Swedish Lesbian twins hadn't a clue how to change a wheel, so I helped them out, and, well, turns out they're actually bisexual. Smiley: waycool

I was about to explain to the boss that I was late because of Blow-Job fatigue, but he was more interested in the news that I've achieved my targets for the year 9 months early, so would I like my salary trebled, or take the rest of the year off as paid leave. Decisions decisions. Smiley: dubious

At lunchtime I was buying a sandwich from the general store by the office and decided to check my Lottery ticket. Now to some people, 1.3 million isn't much, but I can tell you it added a spring to my step.

Having negotiated a half-way deal (3 months paid leave and a bonus of half a year's salary), I thought my day couldn't get any better.

I got home and read the day's mail (John Malkovich loves my script and wants the lead role since Tarantino agreed to direct it, the Tax Office apologising that they overcharged me 20K with cheque attached, and a Reader's Digest special offer. Ho Hum)

OK. I've had a bloody awful day. Work was a nightmare - had to be pleasant to nincompoops and vicious to a sweet girl, found I need to leave the house at 5am tomorrow to hear our new minister's cunning plans, Noblet has a temperature, and the cat did a crap in the shower. I needed to vent.
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"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
#2 Jul 11 2007 at 12:46 PM Rating: Excellent
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6,730 posts
Did it look like Kaolian?
#3 Jul 11 2007 at 1:40 PM Rating: Good
Quote:
and vicious to a sweet girl.

Did you leave marks?
#4 Jul 11 2007 at 1:41 PM Rating: Excellent
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
*****
19,524 posts
Brill wrote:
Quote:
and vicious to a sweet girl.

Did you leave marks?
Many tears (rhymes with years, not wares)
____________________________
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
#5 Jul 11 2007 at 1:55 PM Rating: Good
Smiley: cry?
#6 Jul 11 2007 at 2:03 PM Rating: Good
Nobby wrote:
I need to leave the house at 5am tomorrow to hear our new minister's cunning plans


Will it be as cunning as a fox who is professor of cunning at Oxford University?

And will Darling be there? Can you ask him, Darling, if he minds being called Darling all the time? And if his darling calls him Darling?

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My politics blog and stuff - Refractory
#7 Jul 11 2007 at 2:08 PM Rating: Good
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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Monsieur RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Nobby wrote:
I need to leave the house at 5am tomorrow to hear our new minister's cunning plans


Will it be as cunning as a fox who is professor of cunning at Oxford University?

And will Darling be there? Can you ask him, Darling, if he minds being called Darling all the time? And if his darling calls him Darling?

Speckled Jim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!
____________________________
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
#8 Jul 11 2007 at 2:13 PM Rating: Good
Nobby wrote:
Monsieur RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Nobby wrote:
I need to leave the house at 5am tomorrow to hear our new minister's cunning plans


Will it be as cunning as a fox who is professor of cunning at Oxford University?

And will Darling be there? Can you ask him, Darling, if he minds being called Darling all the time? And if his darling calls him Darling?

Speckled Jim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!


Well it was a lovely, plump, speckily pigeon.

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My politics blog and stuff - Refractory
#9 Jul 11 2007 at 2:14 PM Rating: Good
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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19,524 posts
Monsieur RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Well it was a lovely, plump, speckily pigeon.
Mehhh
____________________________
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
#10 Jul 11 2007 at 2:49 PM Rating: Decent
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8,619 posts
Quote:
OK. I've had a bloody awful day. Work was a nightmare - had to be pleasant to nincompoops and vicious to a sweet girl, found I need to leave the house at 5am tomorrow to hear our new minister's cunning plans, Noblet has a temperature, and the cat did a crap in the shower. I needed to vent.
I on the other hand am enjoying the fith week of my leave, it's is bloody fantastic i have to say.
#11 Jul 11 2007 at 3:01 PM Rating: Decent
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10,755 posts
Hit up Exo's thread.


Winer.
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