I was at a bar last night. It wasn't late and I wasn't particularly drunk.
Some outwardly gay guy comes up to me and says "hey, do you want a *******?"
Suprised, I replied that I wasn't gay or interested.
"Just close your eyes and it feels just like a girl."
I almost died laughing, then replied
"Thanks, but I like to get head with my eyes open."
...
Probably the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.