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#1 Jun 12 2007 at 9:31 AM Rating: Decent
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I was at a bar last night. It wasn't late and I wasn't particularly drunk.

Some outwardly gay guy comes up to me and says "hey, do you want a *******?"

Suprised, I replied that I wasn't gay or interested.

"Just close your eyes and it feels just like a girl."

I almost died laughing, then replied

"Thanks, but I like to get head with my eyes open."

...

Probably the funniest thing that's ever happened to me. Smiley: lol
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#2 Jun 12 2007 at 9:36 AM Rating: Excellent
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I would imagine gay guys would have a better idea of what feels good, in a purely penile sense, than women would.

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#3 Jun 12 2007 at 10:08 AM Rating: Good
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Quote:
I was at a bar last night. It wasn't late and I wasn't particularly drunk.

Some outwardly gay guy comes up to me and says "hey, do you want a *******?"

Suprised, I replied that I wasn't gay or interested.

"Just close your eyes and it feels just like a girl."

I almost died laughing, then replied

"Thanks, but I like to get head with my eyes open."
I think the approriate responce would be

"Would you prefer a sexual assualt charge or a broken face?"
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#4 Jun 12 2007 at 10:11 AM Rating: Decent
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Baron von tarv wrote:
Quote:
I was at a bar last night. It wasn't late and I wasn't particularly drunk.

Some outwardly gay guy comes up to me and says "hey, do you want a *******?"

Suprised, I replied that I wasn't gay or interested.

"Just close your eyes and it feels just like a girl."

I almost died laughing, then replied

"Thanks, but I like to get head with my eyes open."
I think the approriate responce would be

"Quick, put on this wig and meet me in the parking lot".


Agreed.
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#5 Jun 12 2007 at 10:16 AM Rating: Decent
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So I'm going to guess from the title of the thread that he wasn't very good.

Sorry to hear that.
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#6 Jun 12 2007 at 10:30 AM Rating: Good
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NephthysWanderer the Charming wrote:
So I'm going to guess from the title of the thread that he wasn't very good.

Sorry to hear that.


LOL!
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#7 Jun 12 2007 at 10:33 AM Rating: Good
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Warchief Jordster wrote:

I had a moment of indecision when a gay guy hit on me, now I am here to proclaim to the world I am straight.



FTFY



Remember: it's only gay if you like it.
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#8 Jun 12 2007 at 10:43 AM Rating: Good
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The Glorious GitSlayer wrote:
Warchief Jordster wrote:

I had a moment of indecision when a gay guy hit on me, now I am here to proclaim to the world I am straight.



FTFY



Remember: it's only gay if you like it.


Now THAT is how you OWN someone ;)

Well done, sir.
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#9 Jun 12 2007 at 10:48 AM Rating: Decent
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"Would you prefer a sexual assualt charge or a broken face?"

Just take it in the *** already and get it over with. The protesting to much thing is so cliche.
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#10 Jun 12 2007 at 10:54 AM Rating: Good
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Samira wrote:
I would imagine gay guys would have a better idea of what feels good, in a purely penile sense, than women would.



I would imagine that you are probably right. However, the idea of having whiskers brush against the boys while being serviced gives me the eebie jeebies.
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#11 Jun 12 2007 at 11:14 AM Rating: Good
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Kakar wrote:
I would imagine that you are probably right. However, the idea of having whiskers brush against the boys while being serviced gives me the eebie jeebies.


Bah, you'll never know the love of a bearded lady.
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#12 Jun 12 2007 at 2:01 PM Rating: Good
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The Glorious GitSlayer wrote:

Remember: it's only gay if you like it.


According to George Costanza, the test is you're gay if it moves after another man has touched you.
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#13 Jun 12 2007 at 2:05 PM Rating: Excellent
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Kakar wrote:
Samira wrote:
I would imagine gay guys would have a better idea of what feels good, in a purely penile sense, than women would.



I would imagine that you are probably right. However, the idea of having whiskers brush against the boys while being serviced gives me the eebie jeebies.


Nothing that shaving cream and a razor won't fix.
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#14 Jun 12 2007 at 2:15 PM Rating: Decent
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Sir Exodus, The Cheese Maker wrote:
Kakar wrote:
Samira wrote:
I would imagine gay guys would have a better idea of what feels good, in a purely penile sense, than women would.



I would imagine that you are probably right. However, the idea of having whiskers brush against the boys while being serviced gives me the eebie jeebies.


Nothing that shaving cream and a razor won't fix.


How did we know that you would make an appearance with a way to justify it.

At least your dependable.
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#15 Jun 12 2007 at 2:16 PM Rating: Good
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Sir Exodus, The Cheese Maker wrote:
Nothing that shaving cream and a razor won't fix.
What is it with you Yanquis and shaving cream? Pouffs!

What's wrong with a dry-shave?
Seriously. I just use a sharp razor - I've no clue why you feel the need to put soap or foam or cream on.
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#16 Jun 12 2007 at 2:25 PM Rating: Good
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Nobby wrote:
Sir Exodus, The Cheese Maker wrote:
Nothing that shaving cream and a razor won't fix.
What is it with you Yanquis and shaving cream? Pouffs!

What's wrong with a dry-shave?
Seriously. I just use a sharp razor - I've no clue why you feel the need to put soap or foam or cream on.


You don't have a beard, do you?
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#17 Jun 12 2007 at 2:28 PM Rating: Good
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The Glorious GitSlayer wrote:
Nobby wrote:
Sir Exodus, The Cheese Maker wrote:
Nothing that shaving cream and a razor won't fix.
What is it with you Yanquis and shaving cream? Pouffs!

What's wrong with a dry-shave?
Seriously. I just use a sharp razor - I've no clue why you feel the need to put soap or foam or cream on.


You don't have a beard, do you?
Yes but I shave my neck every day and sometimes shave down to a goatee.

But as an heterosexual, I don't use gurly emoluments when shaving
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#18 Jun 12 2007 at 2:35 PM Rating: Good
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I shave everyday or I look like a "dirty mexican" as my PC father likes to say, if I don't use soap or shaving cream I risk breaking the razor.



It's all the testosterone don't ya know. Makes me manly like that.
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#19 Jun 12 2007 at 2:52 PM Rating: Decent
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Nobby wrote:
But as an heterosexual, I don't use gurly emoluments when shaving


I apply some manly gel while I shave, and spread some macho hydrating cream when I'm done.

Then I sprinkle some testoterone-fuelled aftershave.

I'm manly, like that.

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#20 Jun 12 2007 at 2:55 PM Rating: Good
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Monsieur RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Nobby wrote:
But as an heterosexual, I don't use gurly emoluments when shaving


I apply some manly gel while I shave, and spread some macho hydrating cream when I'm done.

Then I sprinkle some testoterone-fuelled aftershave.

I'm manly, like that.

Do you fellate your 'partner' before, during or after?

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#21 Jun 12 2007 at 3:09 PM Rating: Decent
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Nobby wrote:
Monsieur RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Nobby wrote:
But as an heterosexual, I don't use gurly emoluments when shaving


I apply some manly gel while I shave, and spread some macho hydrating cream when I'm done.

Then I sprinkle some testoterone-fuelled aftershave.

I'm manly, like that.

Do you fellate your 'partner' before, during or after?


Can't it be all three?
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#22 Jun 12 2007 at 3:13 PM Rating: Good
Nobby
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MentalFrog wrote:
Nobby wrote:
Monsieur RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Nobby wrote:
But as an heterosexual, I don't use gurly emoluments when shaving


I apply some manly gel while I shave, and spread some macho hydrating cream when I'm done.

Then I sprinkle some testoterone-fuelled aftershave.

I'm manly, like that.

Do you fellate your 'partner' before, during or after?


Can't it be all three?
We appear to think alike
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#23 Jun 13 2007 at 2:16 AM Rating: Decent
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Nobby wrote:
MentalFrog wrote:
Nobby wrote:
Monsieur RedPhoenixxx wrote:
Nobby wrote:
But as an heterosexual, I don't use gurly emoluments when shaving


I apply some manly gel while I shave, and spread some macho hydrating cream when I'm done.

Then I sprinkle some testoterone-fuelled aftershave.

I'm manly, like that.

Do you fellate your 'partner' before, during or after?


Can't it be all three?
We appear to think alike


You guys have obviously never tried to fellate someone whilst shaving.

Nubs.

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#24 Jun 13 2007 at 3:42 AM Rating: Decent
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This thread is hilarious.

However, I have to say: That gay guy vioated the most important social ethic that the gay community has: Never hit on anyone of an "incompatible" sexuality to your own.


Does he lack a sense of the rights of others? Does he lack a sense of self-preservation? Does he have the world's biggest ego? Or is he the world's biggest optimist?
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#25 Jun 13 2007 at 5:37 AM Rating: Good
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Quote:
Does he lack a sense of the rights of others? Does he lack a sense of self-preservation? Does he have the world's biggest ego? Or is he the world's biggest optimist?

Possible he was inebriated and his *gaydar* was offline?
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#26 Jun 13 2007 at 5:51 AM Rating: Excellent
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NephthysWanderer the Charming wrote:
Sir Exodus, The Cheese Maker wrote:
Kakar wrote:
Samira wrote:
I would imagine gay guys would have a better idea of what feels good, in a purely penile sense, than women would.



I would imagine that you are probably right. However, the idea of having whiskers brush against the boys while being serviced gives me the eebie jeebies.


Nothing that shaving cream and a razor won't fix.


How did we know that you would make an appearance with a way to justify it.

At least your dependable.


Of course I'm dependable! I'm just a cool guy like that. Now, make sure you do a clean shave this time around; last time you were down there, the stubble was feeling a little gay.
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