I think it's clever to SwearFollow

As some of the Arsylum's more seasoned Kumquat's may know, I rejoice in the profane, and resort to cursing because I enjoy it.

Sometimes for the shock value, and sometimes because an entire lexicon of abuse can be avoided by the use of an apposite, monosyllabic anglo-saxon expletive.

There are a few memorable occasions where I have either cringed or grinned at a singularly timely curse. This week offerd such an opportunity.

I was at a very stuffy meeting in London with a Ministerial team, but the attendants included xxxxxx. The surroundings were auspicious (a chamber in which the Empire had been discussed and Churchill had made some of his finest speeches).
The tone was as pompous as usual, but xxxxxx became annoyed about one Minister of State's comment at the same time I did. As he was muttering 'idiot' under his breath, he heard me mumble 'fUckwit'.

As the boring Minister droned on and on, xxxxxx discretely slid a piece of paper to me across the table. On it he had scrawled 'FUckwit - A new word to me, but so apposite!'.

For the next few minutes I was childishly engaged in scribbling little notes and covertly sliding them back and forth with xxxxxx.

The notes got sillier - he wrote 'do you think he actually believes the bullShit he's spouting?'. I replied 'I actually doubt he understands it'

After the meeting, as folks were heading off he came up to me with a grin on his face and offered me his hand. As I shook it, I said "I felt honoured to meet you. I've hated your policies for years, but always admired your tenacity". Sounds toadyish, but it was sincere.

He alluded to the fact that the chamber in which we'd had the meeting had generations of history, and yet it was the first time he'd read the 'F' word in it. I asked if he thought anyone had ever said it there. He winked, took my elbow and guided me back to the chamber.

"After you" he said.

"No, after you" I said.

"FUck" he said.

We giggled like schoolboys.

Carried away by the moment, I said "My turn."

He smiled expectantly.

"CUnt" I said.

His face turned to thunder. My ******** fluttered in fear. He glared at me. I expected the security men with no necks to be summoned.

After a terrifying silence he said "Got you you fUcking cUnt!" and roared with laughter.

On the way to the taxi-rank we discussed the meeting and compared views on the Healthcare policy under discussion. .

And all because I said 'fUckwit'.

Swear More!




Edited, May 24th 2007 5:04pm by Sommelier

Some days I'd like to be one of the louses that inhabit your mane.

I think you're taking the ****, but I still want you

Sorry Nixnot. Unusually for a British Politician, he is straight.

******* Cnut that'd be awesome.

British people can swear quite eloquently, it's almost like a different, more beautiful language.

Well for one, people who break the swear filter can swear better than you.

Yes, yes you are, but your stories are always interesting to read.

Close enough to may as well have.

Fuck no.

That'll teach ya!

fuck. Hey I got it that time?