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Do you like your babies well done or extra crispy?Follow

#1 May 22 2007 at 11:46 AM Rating: Decent
No, not baby-back ribs either...
Quote:
GALVESTON, Texas (AP) — A baby girl was released from a hospital 11 days after police say she was burned in a motel microwave oven.

The infant’s mother blamed the devil for what happened, saying Satan compelled her husband to put the baby in the microwave. The devil "saw my husband as a threat" because of his efforts to become a preacher, Eva Marie Mauldin, 20, told Houston television station KHOU.

"He would never do anything to hurt her," she said. “Satan was working through his weaknesses.”

Mauldin said her husband had a mental disability and her efforts to get him help have failed.

Doctors at the Shriners Burn Hospital performed at least two skin grafts on two-month-old Ana Marie Mauldin, who suffered burns on her face and hand May 10. She was released Monday and placed in foster care, and a custody hearing was scheduled later this week.

The baby's father, Joshua Mauldin, 19, was charged with felony injury to a child and was jailed on US$250,000 bond. If found guilty, he could face up to 99 years in prison.

Mauldin, of Warren, Ark., came to Galveston with his family earlier this month to be a preacher, authorities said. When he first called 911, he said the baby had been burned when he tripped while carrying a pot of hot water in their motel room, police said.

He later told police he put his daughter in the microwave because he was under stress. Police said the infant was in the oven for 10 to 20 seconds while her mother and grandmother were away.

Baby Ana Marie did not suffer any internal injuries, said Gwen Carter, spokeswoman for Child Protective Services. She said the child is now "doing really well, making eye contact and was responsive to hospital staff when they held her."
I wonder how much internal damage was done to the kid. I've heard of this being done to cats, but never a human baby! This makes the baby Jesus cry. Smiley: crymore
#2 May 22 2007 at 11:50 AM Rating: Decent
Scholar
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4,593 posts
That f*cker should be shot. No trial. Just walk in and shoot him.
#3 May 22 2007 at 11:50 AM Rating: Decent
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285 posts
I thought since Joph hit 30K we'd stopped doing 'ding' threads. Smiley: dubious

Barrum-psshhh
#4 May 22 2007 at 11:51 AM Rating: Decent
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285 posts
Yodabunny wrote:
That f*cker should be shot. No trial. Just walk in and shoot him.
Haven't you got a ring to take to Mordor or something?
#5 May 22 2007 at 11:52 AM Rating: Good
Monsieur Sommelier wrote:
I thought since Joph hit 30K we'd stopped doing 'ding' threads. Smiley: dubious

Barrum-psshhh
Smiley: lolSmiley: laugh
#6 May 22 2007 at 11:52 AM Rating: Good
Satan sure is a *******. I'm not really surprised though. I mean, he is the Devil.
____________________________
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#7 May 22 2007 at 11:55 AM Rating: Good
What an ***-head. Everyone knows if you want to correctly cook a baby you have to wrap it in tinfoil first.

#8 May 22 2007 at 11:56 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
*****
12,065 posts
Elderon wrote:
Quote:

Baby Ana Marie did not suffer any internal injuries


I wonder how much internal damage was done to the kid.


How can you expect us to read articles you post when you don't? hmmmmm?

We must lead by example!

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#9 May 22 2007 at 12:03 PM Rating: Good
Nexa wrote:
Elderon wrote:
Quote:

Baby Ana Marie did not suffer any internal injuries


I wonder how much internal damage was done to the kid.


How can you expect us to read articles you post when you don't? hmmmmm?

We must lead by example!

Nexa
No silly, I mean like brain issues that you can't physically see now, but will manifest later. I guess I could have been more descriptive though, I'll give you that. Smiley: tongue
#10 May 22 2007 at 12:07 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
*****
12,065 posts
Elderon wrote:
Nexa wrote:
Elderon wrote:
Quote:

Baby Ana Marie did not suffer any internal injuries


I wonder how much internal damage was done to the kid.


How can you expect us to read articles you post when you don't? hmmmmm?

We must lead by example!

Nexa
No silly, I mean like brain issues that you can't physically see now, but will manifest later. I guess I could have been more descriptive though, I'll give you that. Smiley: tongue


Well who the hell gives a **** about that!? The child is POSSESSED for ****'s sake, she's got WAY more important things to worry about than a little brain damage!

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#11 May 22 2007 at 12:17 PM Rating: Good
Nexa wrote:
Elderon wrote:
Nexa wrote:
Elderon wrote:
Quote:

Baby Ana Marie did not suffer any internal injuries


I wonder how much internal damage was done to the kid.


How can you expect us to read articles you post when you don't? hmmmmm?

We must lead by example!

Nexa
No silly, I mean like brain issues that you can't physically see now, but will manifest later. I guess I could have been more descriptive though, I'll give you that. Smiley: tongue


Well who the hell gives a sh*t about that!? The child is POSSESSED for @#%^'s sake, she's got WAY more important things to worry about than a little brain damage!

Nexa
Oh yes, burn the witch! No wait, that didn't work so she must really be a witch!
#12 May 22 2007 at 12:18 PM Rating: Default
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4,158 posts
For a religion thats all about peace and love, these damn Christians are pretty f'ucked up, eh?

And what is the world coming to when a 19 year olds' dream is to become a 'preacher' for chrissakes.

he should be out taggin fences and stealin car stereos an stuff....
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#13 May 22 2007 at 1:36 PM Rating: Decent
Ken Burton's Reject
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12,834 posts
nvm, was actually just another source

Edited, May 22nd 2007 2:38pm by Pawkeshup
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Olorinus the Ludicrous wrote:
The idea of old school is way more interesting than the reality
#14 May 22 2007 at 1:42 PM Rating: Decent
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8,619 posts
Quote:
Monsieur Sommelier
Scholar

177 posts
Score: Default
Methinks someone hasn't got much of a sence of humoUr...
#15 May 22 2007 at 1:45 PM Rating: Good
**
285 posts
tarv wrote:
Methinks someone hasn't got much of a sence of humoUr...
I suspect it's my gorgonzola and onion aftershave.
#16 May 22 2007 at 2:08 PM Rating: Good
nutbag
#17 May 22 2007 at 3:04 PM Rating: Decent
What the fuck is wrong with Texans?
#18 May 22 2007 at 4:37 PM Rating: Decent
what.

The.


****?
#19 May 23 2007 at 2:18 AM Rating: Decent
paulsol the Righteous wrote:
And what is the world coming to when a 19 year olds' dream is to become a 'preacher' for chrissakes.




There's something wrong with the kids in my neighborhood,
They always listen to music,
They disregard civil disobedience,
They'd rather do what they're told...
They don't drink, or ****, or fight.
They sit home, and read, expand their minds.

There's something wrong with the kinds in my cul de sac,
Their always goin to church.
They dress well and they're
Speaking articulate.
They show each other respect,
They're never late, don't joke,
or break rules,
They eat right, study hard,
They like school...

There's something wrong with the kids in my neighborhood


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My politics blog and stuff - Refractory
#20 May 23 2007 at 2:32 AM Rating: Good
Elderon wrote:
No, not baby-back ribs either...
Quote:
GALVESTON, Texas (AP) — A baby girl was released from a hospital 11 days after police say she was burned in a motel microwave oven.

The infant’s mother blamed the devil for what happened, saying Satan compelled her husband to put the baby in the microwave. The devil "saw my husband as a threat" because of his efforts to become a preacher, Eva Marie Mauldin, 20, told Houston television station KHOU.

"He would never do anything to hurt her," she said. “Satan was working through his weaknesses.”

Mauldin said her husband had a mental disability and her efforts to get him help have failed.

Doctors at the Shriners Burn Hospital performed at least two skin grafts on two-month-old Ana Marie Mauldin, who suffered burns on her face and hand May 10. She was released Monday and placed in foster care, and a custody hearing was scheduled later this week.

The baby's father, Joshua Mauldin, 19, was charged with felony injury to a child and was jailed on US$250,000 bond. If found guilty, he could face up to 99 years in prison.

Mauldin, of Warren, Ark., came to Galveston with his family earlier this month to be a preacher, authorities said. When he first called 911, he said the baby had been burned when he tripped while carrying a pot of hot water in their motel room, police said.

He later told police he put his daughter in the microwave because he was under stress. Police said the infant was in the oven for 10 to 20 seconds while her mother and grandmother were away.

Baby Ana Marie did not suffer any internal injuries, said Gwen Carter, spokeswoman for Child Protective Services. She said the child is now "doing really well, making eye contact and was responsive to hospital staff when they held her."
I wonder how much internal damage was done to the kid. I've heard of this being done to cats, but never a human baby! This makes the baby Jesus cry. Smiley: crymore


His weakness being his love of Microwave dinners? Smiley: dubious
#21 May 23 2007 at 7:24 AM Rating: Decent
Baron von remorajunbao wrote:
His weakness being his love of Microwave dinners? Smiley: dubious
No. It's hot babes.
#22 May 23 2007 at 7:31 AM Rating: Excellent
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12,735 posts
After the initial shock of reading one of these loony stories I can't help but wonder what in the blue blazes was going on in that dude's mind when he did that.

"Baby's crying. Maybe it needs to be defrosted...?"
#23 May 23 2007 at 8:54 AM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
*****
10,293 posts
Oh, come on. Everyone knows you can't get babies extra crispy in the microwave. Best we can hope for is not cold in the centre, for Bob's sake. Smiley: rolleyes
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#24 May 23 2007 at 10:30 AM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
******
29,360 posts
Frakkor wrote:
What an ***-head. Everyone knows if you want to correctly cook a baby you have to wrap it in tinfoil first.



You can't use tin foil in the microwave. Did your mother teach you NOTHING?
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#25 May 23 2007 at 10:36 AM Rating: Good
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
Time to bust out my favorite scripture from Lamentations again:

"With their own hands compassionate women have cooked their own children, who became their food when my people were destroyed."

Using that and the preacher angle and you have a First Amendment defense against being tried for baby-cooking!
____________________________
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#26 May 24 2007 at 11:43 AM Rating: Decent
If you want the baby to be cooked right you have to put her on a plate, add a tiny bit of water, and then cover with...uh...that clear plastic-like stuff that's sticky
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