The simple fix is... outsourcing! I say we hire May-hee-cans for, say, 50 cents more an hour than they get paid for blowing leaves around or picking veggies, ship them off to Iraq and win the war by proxy. It solves a bunch of issues like illegal immigration since it'd be Iran and Syria's problem then, and it allows Pancho to send more cold hard cash back home to Maria Santa Guadalupe Estacia Alita Esperanza Paloma Dulcinea Ximena Gonzalez.
If the Mex's play it right, the war would never stop and it'd be a source of unending income for future generations. Think about it! No more needless deaths in the deserts of Arizona, Texas, and California, a higher standard of living for an impoverished nation, an unprecedented opportunity for May-hee-co to be a major player on the world stage, and a chance to make friends with other brown people across the globe!
No more would we fall victim to IEDs or suicide bombers. No more deaths of promising young Americans. No more claims of blood for oil.
Quick! Send a letter to your congressman and set this brilliant plan in motion!
Totem
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I have the solution to IraqFollow
I'm John McCain, and I endorse this message.
Whatever...like I'm going to go rake blueberries myself.
Nexa
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Totem wrote:
The simple fix is... outsourcing! I say we hire May-hee-cans for, say, 50 cents more an hour than they get paid for blowing leaves around or picking veggies, ship them off to Iraq and win the war by proxy.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Whatever...like I'm going to go rake blueberries myself.
No kidding. Also without Consuela to ferry Hannah around on the Lobster Sleigh in the wintertime, you'd spend an assload on gas.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Hey, I trotted this idea out back in 2004 too, but it had no traction then. Now it's an idea who's time has come. So stop sniping from the sidelines and be part of the solution, FleaJo2. Stop thinking of your own personal sacrifices in the matter and recognise that your fiance could be an impact player in the Middle East-- sniper kitty with an M-4 carbine! Besides, what Blackwater is paying mercs these days, you'd be able to afford a better wedding than what you have planned at the Unitarian church and that reception at the local Denny's. Email Obama now!
There is one other benefit here as well: Gitslayer could be gainfully/legally employed for the first time in years.
Totem
There is one other benefit here as well: Gitslayer could be gainfully/legally employed for the first time in years.
Totem
Totem wrote:
you'd be able to afford a better wedding than what you have planned at the Unitarian church and that reception at the local Denny's.
And the reception is at White Castle. Which you'd know if we had sent you an invitation. Which we didn't. So there.
We'll put you on the 'C' list though
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Jophiel wrote:
We'll put you on the 'C' list though
I didn't even rate for any kind of list.
I'm not bitter.
Keep an eye on your bride, dude. Nothing ruins a hot honeymoon night in the sack at that Motel 6 like a technicolored tequila yak speckled with bits of burger patties.
Totem
Totem
Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
We'll put you on the 'C' list though
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
I just started reading the Arabian Nights. One insight it has into the culture is that the Arabs are deathly scared of having having large black men sleep with their wives while they are out adventuring.
This is a job that calls for either Tot3m or BT in blackface.
This is a job that calls for either Tot3m or BT in blackface.
Bode - 100 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
BT would have to cover that other aspect of Arabian sexual culture-- an aversion to large black men having sexual relations with their camels. There is nothing more frightening to a Muzzie than the prospect of an infidel molesting his prized mode of transportation/significant other. Unless it happens to his goat.
Word on the street is Arab FEMLA laws cover the owner once his goat gives birth to a kid. His job at the local terrorist organization is secure for up to six months while he cares for his harem/flock.
Totem
Word on the street is Arab FEMLA laws cover the owner once his goat gives birth to a kid. His job at the local terrorist organization is secure for up to six months while he cares for his harem/flock.
Totem
3 posts
u are about the stupidest person i ever heard say that.
3 posts
[][/]thatwas awesome i believe totem doesnt know what he is talken about
3 posts
Tje way to end the war is to bomb the hell out of the iraqs just as we did to the japenese and get our troops out of there before anymore has to die for bushes stupid ideas of winning war. just bacause bush wants to follow in his dads foot sreps doesnt mean we citizens do.
What's a marijuana smock?
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Tare wrote:
What's a marijuana smock?
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
A Mary Jane smock is one of those hippy hempy things that chicks like ElneClaire wear. They kinda look like a burlap sack, only with a head and arm holes and make the wearer look like Sasquatch. Or a Marine with a Ghillie suit on...
Totem
Totem
Jophiel wrote:
Totem wrote:
The simple fix is... outsourcing! I say we hire May-hee-cans for, say, 50 cents more an hour than they get paid for blowing leaves around or picking veggies, ship them off to Iraq and win the war by proxy.
As Joph rightly said, this idea was already implemented in 2004.
The next step, obviously, is to hire Muzzies to fight each other in Iraq! That's right, ***** the Mexicans-soon-to-be-Americans-if-they-come-back-alive. if they really wanted to be Americans, they wouldn't be dying all over the place, lazy bastards.
No, instead get some reliable Muzzies, preferably with solid experience in killing people guerilla warfare, and get them to kill their countrymen. you could even give it a funny name, like, erm, "Iraqi army" or something like that.
Of course, Muzzies are thiefs, so don't be surprised if they end up selling their weapons to their mates. And of course, they are also traitors, so don't be surprised if the guy you hired suddenly turns out to be a terrorist! After all, he is a Muzzie. Leopards and spots and all that.
Or was that 2005?
Next step, surely, is to privatise the war. Get some mercanaries* in there, and...
Oh, nevermind.
Edited to add that "Mercanaries" is not a mispellnig of "mercenaries", but are in fact canaries that drive Mercs, obviously.
Edited, May 23rd 2007 10:30am by RedPhoenixxx
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