An answer I didn't want to hearFollow

I'm not sure that that's an absolute. While it's true most medications target dopamine, Strattera (new) targets norepinephrine. Also, studies have been done that link it overall to smaller brain size and less white matter. In short, they're not real sure.

Edited, May 16th 2007 3:58pm by Atomicflea

It would be totally normal if not for the fact that, developmentally, it's all out of whack!

Thanks for those links Flea. I'm actually using that as a checklist to see what more we can do for my son.

While I hate Varrus, I do think maybe getting your son in some activities could help. Soccer, T-ball or some such. It's done wonders for my little brother. I do not like the idea of letting your child "control" everything. That is just setting them up for some serious issues later in life. Small things, sure not a problem. Just be aware of who's manipulating who.

DSD,

I work in schools in Japan which do not separate special needs children from the rest of the classes. This means that I have at least 30 children with obvious disabilities (mental and physical), and countless others that I am not aware of.

One of the interesting things I've learned is that my town is incredibly poor (thus cancelling my job position in July), and many of the kids can't afford the "unnecessary" medicines such as ridilin or prozzak (sp?). Now, in my experience with these kids, that means that I'm often dealing with students who have ADHD or depression or any number of "disorders" that are basically "untreated", so maybe I can help you out a little here. (Note though, given the choice I'd prefer not to medicate them regardless, so I'm a bit biased there >.>) I also have asked a few of the other teachers in the staff room here to give me their input as well, so maybe you can get a few ideas from this post.

Since this is a really long post, if you're really only interested in what I have found to be best in training a kid's attention and focus, just skip to the bottom. It seems like to me all of these things are quite commonly known, and thus you probably already do all of them, but because I honestly know nothing about you I figured it wouldn't hurt to cover the basics too.




Now your kid is 5 you said? That means he's just getting to an age where he is going to be playing with other children and (very soon) entering institutions. Sports, clubs, and activities will be an option, and you will *really* want to take into consideration what happens when he's *not* with you.

The first thing I can recommend, is that if you child DOES have ADHD, keep him occupied. I'd also recommend against TV and video games for the majority of the day as well (*gasp*!). In my experience (and keep in mind I'm hardly a doctor), the best thing you can do is have the children constantly doing *different* things. TV doesn't actually force the brain to process the information it receives, and is therefore a terrible choice. Games are good, but an ADHD child won't be able to focus on them for long, so different options quickly become necessary.

As a child, I don't know if I had ADHD, or if I still have it. I have never had to be diagnosed because I'm always doing many things, often at the same time. To that extent, my parents understood that I needed near-constant stimulation (unless they wanted a very grumpy kid on their hands), and had me enrolled in no less than 2 sports per season, as well as music lessons, animals to care for, and video games (but mostly encouraging me to play outside) available at any time. I wouldn't necessarily suggest a similarly busy schedule for any child who you believe is ADHD, but it is important to make sure that they experience a very wide variety of activities. Not only will this help use excess energy and keep them calmer overall, but it will also assist in helping them find things to entertain themselves with later, as well as broadening their interestes with any luck.

Remember though, that if it is a behavioural problem, the child has no more control over it than you do. If you try to "fix" it, the only thing you will find is that it adds more to the problem at hand. Instead, you will need to dedicate yourself to working with the problem, and not against it.




Before you can work on calming him down and helping the child become more responsive and focused, you will have to work on curbing his agressive behaviour (which I found abundant in my ADHD students for some reason) and getting him accustomed to focusing on a single thing at a time, even if it is for a very short time. To this extent, there will always be times when a child needs to be disciplined, so I'll start with that.

If your child looks bored or is being argumentative, find something to burn their energy before trying to quiet them down, rather than punishing them outright for something they can't necessarily control. If your child is arguing or becoming violent, scolding him and disiplining him is obviously the necessary action, but choose your punishments carefully. If you are currently using the method of disciplining him with a punishment based on his action, then you are probably already on the right choice. (ie: making him clean the walls if he scribbles on them - and not just the wall he scribbled on).

However, for those times when you would use a more standard punishment (ie: he punches you or throws a temper tantrum), I would recomment the following: Instead of giving him a "time out", make him do 30 squats against the wall, or 20 push-ups or whatever you feel is appropriate. Instead of sending him to his room, have him run 10 laps around the house (again, whatever's appropriate). Make sure the punishment is *punishment*, however, and not something fun - especially if he likes physical activity (my dad was a big fan of "suicide" runs - if you have ever been in a sport you're probably groaning just thinking about doing those every time you get in trouble XD).

If you are the type of person who doesn't believe in physical activity, or your child can't do them for whatever reason, there are a number of household chores that will tire you out that work quite well. I suggest cleaning the walls, sweeping out the garage, washing the car, washing dishes, washing the floor, etc. (Be creative, but also keep in mind what he can and can't do as a child - it's important to adjust the punishment as he gets older as well).




Since I started working here in Japan, I've actually come across a number of very good suggestions for dealing with ADHD kids in order to prevent them from acting up in the first place. Too many to really go into detail about, so you can PM me if you'd like to talk more, but I'll list a bunch of them here for you:

- Enroll the child in at least 2 completely different activities that will stimulate them both physically and mentally. Suggestions include:

Sports - baseball, soccer, volleyball, etc. (I think these go without saying)

Martial Arts** - see below

Music - strings or percussion are best  
due to the physical use of the body,  
though the breathing necessary for brass or wind are also very good. 
I would suggest steering away from base line instruments (tuba/bass)  
and instruments that are generally reserved for a specific genre (harp/flute).

Clubs - dance, board games, event clubs, etc.

- Always be sure to have something for the child to do, no matter what. If you are at home, suggestions include:

Playing Outside - skipping, ball, road hockey, tag, capture the flag, hopscotch, etc.
Arts & Crafts - Try this site if you need a TON of simple craft ideas.
Baking/Cooking - Always a good way to kill some hours,  
and at the end you have yummy food!  win/win :D
Video Games - I don't think you need suggestions here :P

- And last, for those times when you're outside the house and just need to keep him somewhat restrained, try:

Always be prepared to entertain him no matter where you are. 
Don't expect a game boy to hold his attention if he's ADHD, 
bring more than 1 thing.   
General rule of thumb seems to be 1 toy/entertainment item per 30 minutes, 
from what I've seen here.
Origami - I swear that whoever invented origami 
was a Japanese mother.   
As soon as a kid starts acting up in a restaurant,  
I see their mother or father make some sort of toy out of a napkin,  
and they're instantly happy.   
Better to give him the paper and let him try to make his own toy  
as he gets older though.
Hand games/Magic tricks - The first only really works while he's still really young.   
However, magic never gets old!

Ok, so all of that may or may not already be obvious to you (I imagine that you already knew most of it, but better to have it out anyway). I realize it was incredibly long and probably unnecessary, apologies.

Anyway, to the extent of focusing your child's attention for the future, I would recommend 3 very important things:

1) Martial Arts, Yoga, or some sort of physical focus.
2) Meditation, or a calm activity (for example the Japanese Tea Ceremony)
3) A large-scale long-term project, such as building something or writing a progressive journal or to a pen-pal. Things that can be done in 20-30 minute blocks, and can be put down and picked up again very easily. An alternative is to put the child in charge of a pet - start small (a goldfish), but in order to keep interest progress to bigger/longer-living pets as he learns to care for them well. Goldfish > Hamster > Rabbit > Dog or something works well.

**Martial Arts, I've been told, are possibly the best form of training for an ADHD child, because of the amount of attention and focus they require. However, if you are going to put a child into Martial Arts, you really will need to do research on what the best one would be for him.

I don't thing that they actually need further explanation, though the second one is a little vague. If you find a cultural activity or ceremonial activity that your child sees and thinks "wow! That looks cool!", I would recommend letting him try it. Many ceremonial things take a lot of concentration, and if the kid is interested in it then every time he proceeds to do it he will be excersizing his patience and attention. Unfortunately, the only one I'm aware of is the Tea Ceremony here in Japan, because of my own students' experiences. Perhaps there's something else like that elsewhere too?

Ok super-long post I'm really sorry. I hope you at least read a little though and got some ideas. Even if your son isn't ADHD, most of these things apply to all kids in general, but the teachers that I talked to here seem to strongly emphasize their effectiveness for ADHD students.


Edited, May 16th 2007 10:28pm by Artemismu

I feel for you DSD, I hope you guys can get all this strightened out and figure out what is best for your child.

DSD, while Xavier maybe ADHD and ODD, I know both you and Sick, will find the strength to handle the changes your family face.

ODD sounds like what may have been the problem that made my youngest so difficult to raise. My daughter is beginning to question my 5 year old grandson Ian, behavior also. Since I was a difficult child, who may have ADD on top of the rest of the problems I deal with, I have the feeling that it runs in my side of the family.

The suggestions about how to deal with getting Xavier to listen and ticks to get him to do what you want are pretty much what I find I use with Ian. I did similar things with my kids to get the behavior I wanted and not what to deal with the frustrations of them saying no all the time. I also like to get them to change their answer of NO! to my Yes with a "Maybe?". Works great when dealing with terrible twos, as they are suddenly confused.