" I propose, a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. "
Sheryl Crow
Alright people, it's one square per visit and up to three for those "pesky situations." I take it Ms. Crow has never had a night of Pabst-Blue Ribbon beer guzzling, followed by a late night dinner of White Castle hamburgers.
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"All I want to do, Is wipe my bum ..."Follow
Three days old.
Die.
Die.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
One square? Why don't I just flick the pee off with my fingers instead?
I try to wait to pee until I'm in the shower so that I don't use any toilet paper.
I'm looking into the environmental implications of just using astronaut diapers.
Nexa
I'm looking into the environmental implications of just using astronaut diapers.
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#5REDACTED,
Posted: Apr 24 2007 at 12:09 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) and just think this person votes the same and holds many similar beliefs as the majority of posters on this board.
achileez wrote:
and just think this person votes the same and holds many similar beliefs as the majority of posters on this board.
Fortunately i'm not one of them. Perhaps she just can't bear to spare a square.
What's awesome is how Cheney treated them like the nappy headed hoes they are.
Varus
Fortunately i'm not one of them. Perhaps she just can't bear to spare a square.
What's awesome is how Cheney treated them like the nappy headed hoes they are.
Varus
It was Rove you fuckin moran.
What I liked about that story was how Rove squealed in panic as a woman nearly touched him.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
achileez wrote:
red,
who cares?
Varus
Quote:
It was Rove you @#%^in moran.
who cares?
Varus
Umm, anybody who doesn't face the same chromosomal challenges as Corky.
I'm sorry, I don't have a square to spare.
When it comes to "Number2's", the golden rule is:
Always wait 'til you're at work before parking your breakfast.
1. It's a nice time-out from irritating co-workers.
2. You're being paid to crap!!
Always wait 'til you're at work before parking your breakfast.
1. It's a nice time-out from irritating co-workers.
2. You're being paid to crap!!
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Nobby, you're an inspiration!
How to use a single square;
Step 1: Take a square of toilet paper and poke a hole in the middle of the square.
Step 2: Take the little round piece of paper that you poked out and set it off to the side.
Step 3: Place your finger, preferably the one you pick your nose with as it will have the best picking and wiping action, and put it through the hole in the toilet paper so it protrudes out the one side.
Step 4: Wipe your crap clean off your bum with your finger. The toilet paper will prevent you from getting crap all over your hand.
Step 5: Take the toilet paper and squeeze it tight with your other hand over your finger and slide it off. This should remove any crap you got on your finger.
Step 6: This is a very important step. Remember that little piece of paper you poked out and put off to the side? Take it and use it to clean out your fingernail.
Step 7: Don't forget to flush. Forget about washing your hands, they're wiped clean.
Step 1: Take a square of toilet paper and poke a hole in the middle of the square.
Step 2: Take the little round piece of paper that you poked out and set it off to the side.
Step 3: Place your finger, preferably the one you pick your nose with as it will have the best picking and wiping action, and put it through the hole in the toilet paper so it protrudes out the one side.
Step 4: Wipe your crap clean off your bum with your finger. The toilet paper will prevent you from getting crap all over your hand.
Step 5: Take the toilet paper and squeeze it tight with your other hand over your finger and slide it off. This should remove any crap you got on your finger.
Step 6: This is a very important step. Remember that little piece of paper you poked out and put off to the side? Take it and use it to clean out your fingernail.
Step 7: Don't forget to flush. Forget about washing your hands, they're wiped clean.
Nobby wrote:
When it comes to "Number2's", the golden rule is:
Always wait 'til you're at work before parking your breakfast.
1. It's a nice time-out from irritating co-workers.
2. You're being paid to crap!!
Always wait 'til you're at work before parking your breakfast.
1. It's a nice time-out from irritating co-workers.
2. You're being paid to crap!!
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