This fluffy little bear was abandoned by its mother soon after birth, and was therefore brought up by humanoids at the Berlin Zoo, much to the chagrin of animal activists who wanted him killed.
The little bear, whose name was chosen from a sample of names sent it by a certain Mr. Nobby, has become a cause celebre around the world, mostly because of its irrepressible cuteness.
It seems, however, that the Polar Bear has regained one of its most natural trait, namely the ability to be a cold blooded MURDERER!!
It's day 14 in the Berlin Big Brother House, and Yan Yan, the loveable Panda that used to reside in the enclosure near Knut's, has been found DEAD!!
Rumours abound that the flood of visitors that came to admire the lovely, fluffly Knut over Easter week-end might have caused Yan Yan the Chinese Panda to pass away. It seems that Yan Yan simply could not take the pressure of having up to 30,000 people a day staring at him. This common medical affliction, known in scientific circles as the "Cobain syndrome", itself a variant of the "Monroe Condition", has angered many Chinese people, as well as some righteous Muslims, who are now demanding a beheading of the Knut in one form or another.
Other rumours, though surely malicious, have been spreading in and around the Berlin intelligence circles, claiming that Yan Yan in fact died of constipation, though this is surely an attempt to smear his good name.
The real sadness comes from the fact that because of all the attention being lavished on the Knut, it took 24 hours to notice that Yan Yan had passed away
. Whilst this is surely regrettable, it only adds fuel to the fire of conspiracy theories linking his death to the release of Penguin hostages in Greenland. All of this is extremely sad, but raises important ethical questions: Should an Knut's cuteness prevent it from being blamed? Was Yan Yan constipated? What will happen to Bao Bao, Yan Yan's window? Are zoos ethical, or just a throwback to cruel Victorian entertainment? Can a three-legged panda have sex without a prosthetic paw? And is this the cutest Knut you've ever seen? Or has someone got a better Knut? In which case, pics please?
Edited, Apr 10th 2007 10:46am by RedPhoenixxx
