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I Want A Guy Next Door!!!Follow
Her nostrils are huge.
Really though, you don't need a guy next door. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
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hello. right on the mark. and if he isnt hungry, give him a toy to play with. thats it. the big mystery to men. all the cant seem to connect, not my type, like you as a friend crap?
means your either fat or ugle or both. no deep mystery. no soul mate. just too unattractive to ***** or he is seriously attached to someone. the end.
but go ahead and keep reading. keep looking for other answers. anything to make you feel less fat or ugly or both.
the good stuff DSD? rofl, there is no "good stuff" where men are concerned. sex, a toy and food. the end. feed me, ***** me, give me a toy then go away so i can play with it. bolt after first sex? hell yea. that would be great. ill call when im hungry or horney. by by. no hard feelings, just done with you for the moment. need a little quid pro quo? call me, in and out in 30 to 45 minutes and you can go about your day. there is ALWAYS a man on the job somewhere. may not be the right man, but he is there.
i was reading a story here about a woman whose boyfriend/husband came home from leave. she did him good, cooked him dinner, did him again, then game him an x-box 360 to playt with for the rest of the night.
brought tears to my eyes. clearly there ARE perfect women in the world. one lucky man. ask her for advise about men, she will help you more than any magizine.
but keep reading. mabe there is some big secret. someday you will see its not so big. usually less than 9 inches. hehehe
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hello. right on the mark. and if he isnt hungry, give him a toy to play with. thats it. the big mystery to men. all the cant seem to connect, not my type, like you as a friend crap?
means your either fat or ugle or both. no deep mystery. no soul mate. just too unattractive to ***** or he is seriously attached to someone. the end.
but go ahead and keep reading. keep looking for other answers. anything to make you feel less fat or ugly or both.
the good stuff DSD? rofl, there is no "good stuff" where men are concerned. sex, a toy and food. the end. feed me, ***** me, give me a toy then go away so i can play with it. bolt after first sex? hell yea. that would be great. ill call when im hungry or horney. by by. no hard feelings, just done with you for the moment. need a little quid pro quo? call me, in and out in 30 to 45 minutes and you can go about your day. there is ALWAYS a man on the job somewhere. may not be the right man, but he is there.
i was reading a story here about a woman whose boyfriend/husband came home from leave. she did him good, cooked him dinner, did him again, then game him an x-box 360 to playt with for the rest of the night.
brought tears to my eyes. clearly there ARE perfect women in the world. one lucky man. ask her for advise about men, she will help you more than any magizine.
but keep reading. mabe there is some big secret. someday you will see its not so big. usually less than 9 inches. hehehe
Any time I read Shadow pontificate about matters of the heart, I'm reminded of the thread where he went on at length about waking up every morning knowing that his wife might leave him at any moment.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
DSD wrote:
My god I nearly died laughing when the girl compared men squeezing breasts like if women grasped and wrung the *****.
Jophiel wrote:
Any time I read Shadow pontificate about matters of the heart, I'm reminded of the thread where he went on at length about waking up every morning knowing that his wife might leave him at any moment.
And yet as far as we know she hasn't yet. Inertia, I suppose.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Jophiel wrote:
Any time I read Shadow pontificate about matters of the heart, I'm reminded of the thread where he went on at length about waking up every morning knowing that his wife might leave him at any moment.
A word of advice because I see misleading information in this thread:
Sometimes, when I have a *****, I could still go for a sandwich. So don't be afraid to offer me one.
Sometimes, when I have a *****, I could still go for a sandwich. So don't be afraid to offer me one.
Honestly, I think most men seem to enjoy the instruction process and I'm happy to accept tips. Practice makes perfect.
Nexa
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Nexa wrote:
I'm happy to accept tips. Practice makes perfect.
Nexa
Nexa
Just the tip?
Barkingturtle wrote:
Nexa wrote:
I'm happy to accept tips. Practice makes perfect.
Nexa
Nexa
Just the tip?
Yeah, a 10 in the g-string is fine.
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Nexa wrote:
Barkingturtle wrote:
Nexa wrote:
I'm happy to accept tips. Practice makes perfect.
Nexa
Nexa
Just the tip?
Yeah, a 10" in a g-string is fine.
Nexa
This thread adequately amuses me.
But SR, on the serious, not all men are that shallow. Some of us actually have intellectual and emotional concerns that transcend food and sex.
For example, I like to sleep.
Where I'll dream about sex.
No, but seriously, I have other needs. Being attractive and willing is not enough for me.
But SR, on the serious, not all men are that shallow. Some of us actually have intellectual and emotional concerns that transcend food and sex.
For example, I like to sleep.
Where I'll dream about sex.
No, but seriously, I have other needs. Being attractive and willing is not enough for me.
Kachi wrote:
I'm a closet ****.
Edited, Mar 26th 2007 1:57pm by Elderon
Sooooooo much animosity. It's killing me inside.
~I just watched the "What does a female ****** feel like?"
I lmao'd at "a steaming pudding tsunami"
Edited, Mar 26th 2007 4:57pm by Kachi
~I just watched the "What does a female ****** feel like?"
I lmao'd at "a steaming pudding tsunami"
Edited, Mar 26th 2007 4:57pm by Kachi
But SR, on the serious, not all men are that shallow. Some of us actually have intellectual and emotional concerns that transcend food and sex.
For example, I like to sleep.
Where I'll dream about sex.
No, but seriously, I have other needs. Being attractive and willing is not enough for me.
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agree. like i said. there is food and a toy also. hehehehe
as far as my wife leaving me? the reason she doesnt is because she knows she can, any time she chooses. and if she does? what then? unless she is ready to go over to the other side, yep, its just another man. the only differance between me, and say, somneone who is connected to his inner feelings is, im honest and dont waste her time making up bull sheit lines trying to make her believe that there is something more in there somewhere.
i dont waste my time and effort trying to build myself up to other people.
you get what you see. and if you dont want to know the truth, dont ask the question. im shallow. food. a toy. sex. and if i have had all three recently, dont talk while im watching tv. not gona hear you anyway. already tuned you out.
on the plus side, having no fear of injured pride, nor caring what other people think.....im not above begging for it. nice dinners? if thats what it takes, you bet. like flowers? hell, a few weeks without and ill buy you a florest. listen to you yak yak yak about soap opera drama at work? i can stare blankly and nod my head once in a while with the best of them.
want to know if im really interested in whats going on with you? :stares blankly into her eyes and nods......, not stupid, i know when to keep my mouth shut.
For example, I like to sleep.
Where I'll dream about sex.
No, but seriously, I have other needs. Being attractive and willing is not enough for me.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
agree. like i said. there is food and a toy also. hehehehe
as far as my wife leaving me? the reason she doesnt is because she knows she can, any time she chooses. and if she does? what then? unless she is ready to go over to the other side, yep, its just another man. the only differance between me, and say, somneone who is connected to his inner feelings is, im honest and dont waste her time making up bull sheit lines trying to make her believe that there is something more in there somewhere.
i dont waste my time and effort trying to build myself up to other people.
you get what you see. and if you dont want to know the truth, dont ask the question. im shallow. food. a toy. sex. and if i have had all three recently, dont talk while im watching tv. not gona hear you anyway. already tuned you out.
on the plus side, having no fear of injured pride, nor caring what other people think.....im not above begging for it. nice dinners? if thats what it takes, you bet. like flowers? hell, a few weeks without and ill buy you a florest. listen to you yak yak yak about soap opera drama at work? i can stare blankly and nod my head once in a while with the best of them.
want to know if im really interested in whats going on with you? :stares blankly into her eyes and nods......, not stupid, i know when to keep my mouth shut.
Maybe I'm just lazy, but I don't compromise myself for women. Any women that I have to put on a show for just to get some nookie (I know, pretty much all of them) just ain't for me.
I don't think a good relationship is about compromise... I think it's about two people that don't -have- to compromise to share a life together. But apparently I'm also ghey. I'm just a big ol' ***** that gets his jollies on the female body.
I don't think a good relationship is about compromise... I think it's about two people that don't -have- to compromise to share a life together. But apparently I'm also ghey. I'm just a big ol' ***** that gets his jollies on the female body.
shadowrelm wrote:
im shallow.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Men really are quite simple. We say what we mean. We do what we want. We don't do what we don't want to.
Guide to getting what you want out of a man.
Ask for it. Plainly. Women tend to hint at things and create complicated situations to try and get what they want. It's really, really simple. You want a backrub say "Can I get a backrub when you have a minute?", you want the garbage taken out say "Can you take out the garbage please?".
Men are way to efficiency oriented to work through complicated hints/suggestions/mind games that women use to communicate. Women understand each other when they communicate, men aren't emotionally driven and therefore have no interest in deciphering their puzzles. In other words, we don't care what you're thinking, tell us what you want.
Guide to getting what you want out of a man.
Ask for it. Plainly. Women tend to hint at things and create complicated situations to try and get what they want. It's really, really simple. You want a backrub say "Can I get a backrub when you have a minute?", you want the garbage taken out say "Can you take out the garbage please?".
Men are way to efficiency oriented to work through complicated hints/suggestions/mind games that women use to communicate. Women understand each other when they communicate, men aren't emotionally driven and therefore have no interest in deciphering their puzzles. In other words, we don't care what you're thinking, tell us what you want.
I disagree that men aren't emotionally driven. I just think that in general different things drive men and women's emotions. Men tend to focus on the basics (especially young and/or stupid men) whereas women who lack the hormonal clouding of testosterone tend to pursue meaningful social relationships. In my life I have met many exceptions... women who were very "simple" (I think many of them are this way, but either feel the need to create the lady-like image or are just unattractive and don't get much attention from men), as well as men who were very driven by things other than food, sex, what have you.
Kachi wrote:
I disagree that men aren't emotionally driven. I just think that in general different things drive men and women's emotions. Men tend to focus on the basics (especially young and/or stupid men) whereas women who lack the hormonal clouding of testosterone tend to pursue meaningful social relationships. In my life I have met many exceptions... women who were very "simple" (I think many of them are this way, but either feel the need to create the lady-like image or are just unattractive and don't get much attention from men), as well as men who were very driven by things other than food, sex, what have you.
I'm not saying men don't have emotions, or even that they only care about sex and food. What I'm saying is that men don't feel the need to tip toe around a situation and don't easily understand what a woman is trying to infer when they do. Men communicate in the most plain way possible given a situation (efficiency driven). Women tend to (stereotypically <-I speel good?) make a situation more complicated than it is for what I think is the sake of looking sophisticated and/or saving people's feelings (emotionally driven).
And yet when a woman communicates efficiently, she's viewed as a *****. Yay!
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Samira wrote:
And yet when a woman communicates efficiently, she's viewed as a *****. Yay!
LOL. Good point.
I think this is caused by the way a woman defines efficiently. Telling someone what to do or making demands is efficient sure, but not the way to go. Men ask for things in a certain way, it's plain, but there's still a sort of code of conduct to it. The women that I've met that do speak plainly make demands or have a certain tone to their voice that's offensive, they don't ask.
This is all very stereotypical of course and there are a million exceptions I'm sure. A man might say "could I get a backrub?" (honest request that gives the option of refusal <-this is important), a woman speaking plainly by comparison is more likely to say "give me a backrub" (demand. man thinks what am I your slave?) or less plainly "you don't give me backrubs anymore" (accusation. man thinks you're mad at him for something you didn't ask him to do).
Edited, Mar 27th 2007 4:55pm by Yodabunny
Shadowreem makes me laugh.
Bitter much?
Bitter much?
Yodabunny wrote:
This is all very stereotypical of course and there are a million exceptions I'm sure. A man might say "could I get a backrub?" (honest request that gives the option of refusal <-this is important
You are obviously a **** if you think a man would ever ask for just a backrub. Ha, ha I say! In the world of double-speak and game playing, this is perhaps the finest example of how a man participates.
When I ask for a backrub, what I'm really saying is:
"Would you rub my back for a couple of minutes, then I'll offer to return the favor, and then, when I have you facedown and prone, I'm gonna stick it in. By "it", I mean my *****".
You sir, are playing the game all wrong.
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