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PARENTS! BE WARNED!Follow

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#1 Mar 12 2007 at 12:16 PM Rating: Good
Nobby
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Be careful what music you let your children to. You don't want them turning into Homosexualists do you?


Thankfully, there is now a resource on teh Interwebs.
Thank the Lord for C.H.O.P.S. (CHANGING HOMOSEXUALS into ORDINARY PEOPLE.)

The site helpfully indicates Music Artists whose music can turn people into teh ghey:

Quote:
* The Spores (endorse suicide)
* Scissor Sisters
* Turbonegro
* Rufus Wainwright
* Merzbau
* Ravi Shankar
* Wilco
* Bjork (mb)
* Tech N9ne
* Ghostface Killah
* Bobby Conn
* Morton Subotnik
* Cole Porter
* The String Cheese Incident
* Eagles of Death Metal
* Polyphonic Spree
* The Faint
* Interpol
* Twisted Sister (jj)
* Tegan and Sara
* Erasure
* The Grateful Dead (drugs too)
* Le Tigre
* Marilyn Manson (dark gay)
* Jay-Z
* Depeche Mode


On an equally helpful note, the following bands are deemed "SAFE" from homosexual influence:

Quote:
# Dresden Dolls
# UnderOath
# Blondie**
# Cyndi Lauper
# Falling Up
# Flyleaf
# THE TURNING
# Disciple
# P.O.D
# Evanescence
# By The Tree
# Scott Reed
# Michael W. Smith
# Jars of Clay
# DC Talk
# Danielson
# Cheap Trick


I have now confiscated the Noblet's Jay-Z CD and have piped "Cheap Trickj Live at Budokan" into his room.

WTF!!!??

Ooh - Linky
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#2 Mar 12 2007 at 12:19 PM Rating: Good
Omegavegeta
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How the frack did Cher not make that list?
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#3 Mar 12 2007 at 12:23 PM Rating: Good
Nobby
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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Omegavegeta wrote:
How the frack did Cher not make that list?
Never mind that.

If Evanescence makes you straight, then I'll bend over for Saboruto!
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#4 Mar 12 2007 at 12:25 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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I'm questioning Cyndi Lauper more than anyone else.

Nexa
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#5 Mar 12 2007 at 12:27 PM Rating: Excellent
Danalog
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... Blondie?
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Do what now?
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#6 Mar 12 2007 at 12:28 PM Rating: Decent
Smasharoo
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Worst hoax website ever.

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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

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#7 Mar 12 2007 at 12:29 PM Rating: Decent
__DEL__1622420402685
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Quote:
The response is overwhelming. You guys know of a lot more Gay Bands than I do. I can't keep up. Hopefully soon we'll have it so you can add them by yourself.


Heheh
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#8 Mar 12 2007 at 12:30 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Smasharoo wrote:
Worst hoax website ever.


I don't know about *ever*. Geesh, such a grump today. It's cause they picked apart your gay playlist, right? ABBA isn't even on there!

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
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#9 Mar 12 2007 at 12:31 PM Rating: Excellent
Jophiel
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Danalog the Vengeful Programmer wrote:
... Blondie?
"Dresden Dolls"? Smiley: dubious
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
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#10 Mar 12 2007 at 12:31 PM Rating: Decent
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Smasharoo wrote:
Worst hoax website ever.



I agree...wow.
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#11 Mar 12 2007 at 12:32 PM Rating: Decent
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Nobby wrote:

On an equally helpful note, the following bands are deemed "SAFE" from homosexual influence:

Quote:
# Dresden Dolls
# UnderOath
# Blondie**
# Cyndi Lauper
# Falling Up
# Flyleaf
# THE TURNING
# Disciple
# P.O.D
# Evanescence
# By The Tree
# Scott Reed
# Michael W. Smith
# Jars of Clay
# DC Talk
# Danielson
# Cheap Trick



Smiley: dubious

Isn't Cyndi Lauper doing a gay rights tour right now?

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070312/D8NQOCRO0.html

Also, aren't the Dresden Dolls those pre-pubescent white supremacists?

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#12 Mar 12 2007 at 12:32 PM Rating: Good
Nobby
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Smasharoo wrote:
Worst hoax website ever.
Say it ain't So!

Next you'll be telling me The Onion strays from the facts occasionally
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#13 Mar 12 2007 at 12:33 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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The problem with websites like this is that you just know there are parents retarded enough to be going through their kids mp3 players and deleting **** over it.

Nexa
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“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
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#14 Mar 12 2007 at 12:33 PM Rating: Decent
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Wait...DMX makes one homosexual? Wha?

Hello? In case this moron didn't get the message, DMX doesn't like homosexuals...or did I miss a memo or something?
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#15 Mar 12 2007 at 12:35 PM Rating: Excellent
Snorre
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Quote:
Cheap Trick Live at Budokan


One of my favorite live albums growing up! Smiley: waycool

Rick Nielson wrote:
Quote:
Mother told me, yes, she told me I'd meet girls like you. She also told me, "Stay away, you'll never know what you'll catch."
Just the other day I heard a soldier falling off some Indonesian junk that's going round.

Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird.
Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away, ay, ay, ay.

Father says, "Your mother's right, she's really up on things."
"Before we married, Mommy served in the WACS in the Philippines."
Now, I had heard the WACS recruited old maids for the war.
But mommy isn't one of those, I've known her all these years.

Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird.
Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away, ay, ay, ay.

Whatever happened to all this season's losers of the year?
Ev'ry time I got to thinking, where'd they disappear?
When I woke up, Mom and Dad are rolling on the couch.
Rolling numbers, rock and rolling, got my Kiss records out.

Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird.
Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away, ay, ay, ay.

Away.
Away.

Repeat Chorus 7X

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#16 Mar 12 2007 at 12:35 PM Rating: Excellent
Jophiel
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Ambrya wrote:
Also, aren't the Dresden Dolls those pre-pubescent white supremacists?
You're thinking of Prussian Blue. DD is faux-burlesque.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
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#17 Mar 12 2007 at 12:37 PM Rating: Decent
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Jophiel wrote:
Ambrya wrote:
Also, aren't the Dresden Dolls those pre-pubescent white supremacists?
You're thinking of Prussian Blue. DD is faux-burlesque.


Ah okay, my bad.
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#18 Mar 12 2007 at 12:46 PM Rating: Good
bodhisattva
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Interpol might actually make you turn gay.
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#19 Mar 12 2007 at 12:47 PM Rating: Decent
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Oh sh*t! The pictures of metallica members touching their tongues on that page is to hilarious.

Morrissey(?questionable?)

Guessing the asexual nature of Morrissey is as confusing as science is for them.
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#20 Mar 12 2007 at 12:48 PM Rating: Decent
Smasharoo
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30,086 posts

It's cause they picked apart your gay playlist, right? ABBA isn't even on there!

Just be happy that Morrisey and The Smiths are so far down alphabetically that you never hear them.

____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

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#21 Mar 12 2007 at 12:51 PM Rating: Excellent
__DEL__1701044194859
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Quote:
The String Cheese Incident


Smiley: yikes

...but...but...I don't wanna be gay. Smiley: frown

Oh wait...bands. Of course. Smiley: grin
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#22 Mar 12 2007 at 1:18 PM Rating: Excellent
Darqflame
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Over half on the "good" list are Christian rock bands.
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#23 Mar 12 2007 at 1:18 PM Rating: Good
Nobby
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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Mistress Darqflame wrote:
Over half on the "good" list are Christian rock bands.
Don't go there.

Seriously
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"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
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#24 Mar 12 2007 at 1:20 PM Rating: Default
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Quote:
Over half on the "good" list are Christian rock bands.
Where's system of a down at?
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#25 Mar 12 2007 at 1:21 PM Rating: Good
Nobby
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19,524 posts
Magnavoxroan wrote:
Quote:
Over half on the "good" list are Christian rock bands.
Where's system of a down at?
They're on a "half-way house" list.

They make you suck cOck, but you don't enjoy it.
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"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
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#26 Mar 12 2007 at 1:29 PM Rating: Excellent
Darqflame
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Nobby wrote:
Mistress Darqflame wrote:
Over half on the "good" list are Christian rock bands.
Don't go there.

Seriously

Shut up old man, don't make me mention you like one... oops Smiley: grin
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