1 - He takes oestrogen pills so he can personally suckle poor black kids
2 - He has adopted most of Iraq's orphans and personally takes them to Wendy's every Friday after Q'uran School
3 - He is fluent in 12 languages (and will shortly begin working on English)
5 - All of his pets have been trained to give blowjobs to disfigured Iraq veterans who would otherwise have to stick to shagging their own hand.
8 - He discovered Disneyland Paris and claimed it in the name of America
2 - He has donated his body to veterinary science
B - When he appeared as a guest on the Antiques Roadshow, he wasn't interested in how much any of his stuff was worth
5 - He always remembers his Wedding Anniversary and gives his wife a brown baby each year without fail
2 - He drives a Prius
13 - He received almost as many votes as last year's American Idol runner-up
iv - His sperm is shipped to Alaska to clean up oil spillages
9 - He invented sand
A - His skin is made from the same materials as Starbuck's Bischotti
10 - He refuses to allow his bodyguards to exhale in the presence of women or Pandas
11 - When Sesame Street runs out of letters of the alphabet, he is available by phone, 24/7 to suggest new ones
4 - He's fUcking great