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#27 Mar 07 2007 at 8:59 AM Rating: Decent
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Until our daughter went outside one day and she told him in with a serious face that she didn't want him to smoke and watch him die of lung cancer.


Next comes "If I don't get a pony I'll die of lung cancer."
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Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#28 Mar 07 2007 at 8:59 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
Mr. Thumb has smoked off and on. The most he would smoke would be maybe a pack every two weeks or so. But with his military retirement and the relocation we just went through, he started to increase his smoking.

Until our daughter went outside one day and she told him in with a serious face that she didn't want him to smoke and watch him die of lung cancer.

He hasn't smoked since.


Yeah, I really gotta get Hannah to quit. It's so hard to try and quit with someone else in the house smoking.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#29 Mar 07 2007 at 9:01 AM Rating: Decent
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Yeah, I really gotta get Hannah to quit. It's so hard to try and quit with someone else in the house smoking.


Yeah, plus, crack is apparently even harder to stop.
____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#30 Mar 07 2007 at 9:02 AM Rating: Good
Thumbelyna Quick Hands wrote:
Until our daughter went outside one day and she told him in with a serious face that she didn't want him to smoke and watch him die of lung cancer.

He hasn't smoked since.


God, your little daughter sounds like a jerk!

I have never attempted to quit smoking, and have only done so during short commitments, but if I have to pick a new month's resolution I'm going with something realistic, like drinking more.
#31 Mar 07 2007 at 9:02 AM Rating: Excellent
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I quit every night before I go to bed, but wouldn't you know it, I relapse each morning when I wake up. Smiley: frown

Plus, if I quit smoking, I'd have to quit drinking too. I can't help but associate the two, so drinking without a steady intake of nicotine would likely drive me insane.
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#32 Mar 07 2007 at 9:03 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Smasharoo wrote:

Yeah, I really gotta get Hannah to quit. It's so hard to try and quit with someone else in the house smoking.


Yeah, plus, crack is apparently even harder to stop.


Well it's not like *I* give it to her, I don't know where she gets it.

Ever since they did that report about the evils of cough medicine, I stopped giving it to her. Of course, it suddenly disappeared and now she has a meth lab in her crib, but whataryagonnado?

Kids, geesh.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#33 Mar 07 2007 at 9:06 AM Rating: Decent
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Ever since they did that report about the evils of cough medicine, I stopped giving it to her. Of course, it suddenly disappeared and now she has a meth lab in her crib, but whataryagonnado?


I'd hire Gbaji to come over and deliver a Powerpoint presentation explaining that market in Maine is moving steadily towards OxyC, which has a much more upscale client base. Rush Limbaugh, for example. Plus, she's almost two now, she should be able to associate "Gluttonous deaf drug addict delusional goat ******" with pictures of Limbaugh.

____________________________
Disclaimer:

To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.

#34 Mar 07 2007 at 9:09 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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12,065 posts
Smasharoo wrote:

I'd hire Gbaji to come over and deliver a Powerpoint presentation explaining that market in Maine is moving steadily towards OxyC, which has a much more upscale client base. Rush Limbaugh, for example. Plus, she's almost two now, she should be able to associate "Gluttonous deaf drug addict delusional goat @#%^er" with pictures of Limbaugh.


I'm not letting her swear. What kind of mother do you think I am?

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#35 Mar 07 2007 at 12:32 PM Rating: Decent
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1600x1200 is the new 1024x768
#36 Mar 07 2007 at 1:22 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Update from this morning: I really want a ******* cigarette.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#37 Mar 07 2007 at 1:23 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
*******
TILT
.[Oral Fixation joke]
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Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#38 Mar 07 2007 at 1:24 PM Rating: Good
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Nexa wrote:
Update from this morning: I really want a @#%^ing cigarette.
I really want Chinese food.
#39 Mar 07 2007 at 1:24 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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Atomicflea wrote:
Nexa wrote:
Update from this morning: I really want a @#%^ing cigarette.
I really want Chinese food.


I want sushi.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#40 Mar 07 2007 at 1:26 PM Rating: Good
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Nexa wrote:
I want sushi.
That's a healthy one. Have sushi.
#41 Mar 07 2007 at 1:27 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
*****
12,065 posts
Atomicflea wrote:
Nexa wrote:
I want sushi.
That's a healthy one. Have sushi.


The place on campus that sells sushi is closed for two weeks because it's spring break.

I want a cigarette.

*frown*

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#42 Mar 07 2007 at 1:29 PM Rating: Excellent
Will swallow your soul
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29,360 posts
I don't think wrapping a cigarette in seaweed and rice is going to have the same effect.

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In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

#43 Mar 07 2007 at 1:30 PM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
*****
12,065 posts
Samira wrote:
I don't think wrapping a cigarette in seaweed and rice is going to have the same effect.


How do you know until you try? Don't be so closed minded Sami.

Nexa
____________________________
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
#44 Mar 07 2007 at 1:33 PM Rating: Good
Samira wrote:
I don't think wrapping a cigarette in seaweed and rice is going to have the same effect.
There's a really crass dead hooker joke in there somewhere.
#45 Mar 07 2007 at 2:27 PM Rating: Decent
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Demea wrote:
I quit every night before I go to bed, but wouldn't you know it, I relapse each morning when I wake up. Smiley: frown

Plus, if I quit smoking, I'd have to quit drinking too. I can't help but associate the two, so drinking without a steady intake of nicotine would likely drive me insane.

Not only do I associate cigarettes with booze, I also associate it with coffee, and pot.
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we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
#46 Mar 07 2007 at 2:34 PM Rating: Good
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Glad to see you trying again, good luck Kiddo.
#47 Mar 09 2007 at 4:08 AM Rating: Decent
Debalic wrote:
Not only do I associate cigarettes with booze, I also associate it with coffee, and pot.


Me too.

And cigarette breaks at work, meals, and post-coital relaxation.

That's a lot for one man to give up.
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#48 Mar 09 2007 at 5:31 AM Rating: Good
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296 posts
Nexa wrote:
I'm not letting her swear. What kind of mother do you think I am?


My friend and I were at a gas station with his kid, and when he went inside I got his kid to associate "pizza (which he pronounced piece a')" and "ask (which he prounounced ***)" with me pointing at someone. When my friend got back in the car I said, "Jeremy (the kid), what's that?" and pointed at a woman. When he said his version of "pizza ask" my friend flipped. He said, "That is awesome... please never do that in front of my wife or I'm a dead man."
#49REDACTED, Posted: Mar 09 2007 at 6:56 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) What weak minded people you all are.
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