John Cleese, to a flunky wrote:
I decide where my jurisdiction ends, and today it ends here... Pick up my hat.
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Movie QuotesFollow
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Jackie Gleason, to his son wrote:
There's no way, NO way that you came from my loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch your momma in the mouth!
Yeah, I went with a Smokey and the Bandit quote
Edited, Mar 2nd 2007 11:02am by Zakthan
Celcio wrote:
Chris Knight wrote:
Have you ever had a dream where you see yourself standing on a pyramid in sort of sun god robes with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your *****?
haha, I love that movie.
Nexa
“It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But a half-wit remains a half-wit, and the emperor remains an emperor.â€
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
Nexa wrote:
Celcio wrote:
Chris Knight wrote:
Have you ever had a dream where you see yourself standing on a pyramid in sort of sun god robes with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your *****?
haha, I love that movie.
Nexa
A girl's gotta have standards!
Me too :D
Recruiter: Well, it's a question we have to ask of all our new recruits. Are you guys homosexual? Russell Ziskey: No, we're not homosexual, but we are willing to learn.
Stripes.
Stripes.
Since too many never got the virtual 3D front and back !_!,
!_!
!_!
Quote:
Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns. !_!
Quote:
VERNON
...any questions?
BENDER
Yeah...I got a question.
Vernon looks at him suspiciously.
BENDER
Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?
VERNON
I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns.
...any questions?
BENDER
Yeah...I got a question.
Vernon looks at him suspiciously.
BENDER
Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?
VERNON
I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns.
!_!
Quote:
VERNON
to Andrew)
I expected a little more from a varsity Asylumite!
(to Bender)
You're not fooling anybody, Bender! The next ***** that falls out is gonna be you!
Vernon turns to leave.
BENDER
(under his breath)
Eat my shorts...
Vernon spins in his tracks and faces Bender again.
VERNON
What was that?
BENDER
(loudly)
Eat my shorts!
VERNON
You just bought yourself another (rate down), mister!
BENDER
Oh, Christ...
VERNON
You just bought one more (rate down) right there!
BENDER
Well, I'm free the (rate-down) after that...beyond that, I'm gonna have to check my calendar!
VERNON
Good! 'Cause it's gonna be filled, we'll keep goin'! You want another one? Say the word, just say the word! Instead of going to prison, you'll come here (and be rated down)! Are you through.
BENDER
No!
VERNON
I'm doing society a favor!
BENDER
So?
VERNON
That's another one (rate down), right now! I've got you for the rest of your natural born (sub-default) life if you don't watch your step! You want another one?
BENDER
Yes!
VERNON
You got it! You got another one (rate down), right there! That's another one pal!
CLAIRE
(worried)
Cut it out!
Claire mouths the word "Stop" to Bender.
VERNON
You through?
BENDER
Not even close, bud!
VERNON
Good! You got one more (rate down), right there!
BENDER
Do you really think I give a ****?
VERNON
Another...
Bender glares at him.
VERNON
You through?
BENDER
How many is that?
BRIAN
That's seven including the one when we first came in and you asked Mr. Vernon here whether Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet.
VERNON
(to Bender)
Now it's eight...
(to Brian)
You stay out of it!
BRIAN
Excuse me, sir, it's seven!
VERNON
Shut up, Peewee!
(to Bender)
You're mine Bender...for two months
I gotcha! I gotcha!
to Andrew)
I expected a little more from a varsity Asylumite!
(to Bender)
You're not fooling anybody, Bender! The next ***** that falls out is gonna be you!
Vernon turns to leave.
BENDER
(under his breath)
Eat my shorts...
Vernon spins in his tracks and faces Bender again.
VERNON
What was that?
BENDER
(loudly)
Eat my shorts!
VERNON
You just bought yourself another (rate down), mister!
BENDER
Oh, Christ...
VERNON
You just bought one more (rate down) right there!
BENDER
Well, I'm free the (rate-down) after that...beyond that, I'm gonna have to check my calendar!
VERNON
Good! 'Cause it's gonna be filled, we'll keep goin'! You want another one? Say the word, just say the word! Instead of going to prison, you'll come here (and be rated down)! Are you through.
BENDER
No!
VERNON
I'm doing society a favor!
BENDER
So?
VERNON
That's another one (rate down), right now! I've got you for the rest of your natural born (sub-default) life if you don't watch your step! You want another one?
BENDER
Yes!
VERNON
You got it! You got another one (rate down), right there! That's another one pal!
CLAIRE
(worried)
Cut it out!
Claire mouths the word "Stop" to Bender.
VERNON
You through?
BENDER
Not even close, bud!
VERNON
Good! You got one more (rate down), right there!
BENDER
Do you really think I give a ****?
VERNON
Another...
Bender glares at him.
VERNON
You through?
BENDER
How many is that?
BRIAN
That's seven including the one when we first came in and you asked Mr. Vernon here whether Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet.
VERNON
(to Bender)
Now it's eight...
(to Brian)
You stay out of it!
BRIAN
Excuse me, sir, it's seven!
VERNON
Shut up, Peewee!
(to Bender)
You're mine Bender...for two months
I gotcha! I gotcha!
!_!
Oh man, how could I forget these!
Critical Bill wrote:
Your reputation FAR exceeds your skills.
Easy Wind wrote:
Remember when you was a kid and you would spend the whole year waiting for summer vacation and when it finally came it would fly by just like that? It's funny, Jimmy, life has a way of flying by faster than any old summer vacation really ******* does.
Old Man wrote:
Life is like a mustard burp, momentarily tangy and then forgotten in the air
The Man with the Plan wrote:
One day you're saving the rain forest, the next, you're chuggin' ****.
The Man with the Plan wrote:
She's a 10, Jimmy. She's a world unto herself. She can't nurse worth ****, but I keep her on, because even though I can't feel it, I know I get erections in her presence.
Clint Eastwood in High Plains Drifter.
Woman: You're a man who makes people afraid, and that's dangerous.
Clint: It's what people know about themselves inside...that makes them afraid.
Woman: You're a man who makes people afraid, and that's dangerous.
Clint: It's what people know about themselves inside...that makes them afraid.
Dante Hicks: My girlfriend sucked 37 diCks.
Customer: In a row?
Customer: In a row?
10k before the site's inevitable death or bust
The World Is Not A Cold Dead Place.
The World Is Not A Cold Dead Place.
Alan Watts wrote:
I am omnipotent insofar as I am the Universe, but I am not an omnipotent in the role of Alan Watts, only cunning
Eske wrote:
I've always read Driftwood as the straight man in varus' double act. It helps if you read all of his posts in the voice of Droopy Dog.
A couple of funny ones:
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"
"I love your legs. They got your feet at one end and your pUssy at the other."
A couple of cool ones:
"Hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."
"Every time you don't give me answers, I'm going to cut something off. And I promise you, they will be things you will miss."
Edited, Mar 2nd 2007 2:04pm by fhrugby
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"
"I love your legs. They got your feet at one end and your pUssy at the other."
A couple of cool ones:
"Hell of a thing, killing a man. You take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."
"Every time you don't give me answers, I'm going to cut something off. And I promise you, they will be things you will miss."
Edited, Mar 2nd 2007 2:04pm by fhrugby
Russian Interregator #2: Every minute you don't tell us why you are here, I cut off a finger.
Emmett Fitz-Hume: Mine or yours?
Russian Interregator #2: Yours.
Emmett Fitz-Hume: Damn!
Emmett Fitz-Hume: Mine or yours?
Russian Interregator #2: Yours.
Emmett Fitz-Hume: Damn!
Right now I can only think of this one (my favorite bubblegum quote having already been taken), but I have to paraphrase. It's from "Next Stop Wonderland".
Hope Davis - Do I believe in destiny? No. It's like how my parents met. They met on a plane, but my mom had been booked for an earlier flight. On the way to the airport, her taxi hit a dog that chased a squirrel across the street, that delayed her and she had to switch to a later flight. It was completely random.
Woman - Don't you see though, that is destiny.
Guy - Tell that to the dog.
Hope Davis - Do I believe in destiny? No. It's like how my parents met. They met on a plane, but my mom had been booked for an earlier flight. On the way to the airport, her taxi hit a dog that chased a squirrel across the street, that delayed her and she had to switch to a later flight. It was completely random.
Woman - Don't you see though, that is destiny.
Guy - Tell that to the dog.
Where to start?
and of course:
Brick Top in "Snatch" wrote:
Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cUnt - me.
Quote:
Brian's mother: What star sign is he?
Wise Man #2: Capricorn.
Brian's mother: Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
Wise Man #2: He is the son of God, our Messiah.
Wise Man #1: King of the Jews.
Brian's mother: And that's Capricorn, is it?
Wise Man #3: No, no, that's just him.
Brian's mother: Oh, I was going to say, otherwise there'd be a lot of them.
Wise Man #2: Capricorn.
Brian's mother: Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
Wise Man #2: He is the son of God, our Messiah.
Wise Man #1: King of the Jews.
Brian's mother: And that's Capricorn, is it?
Wise Man #3: No, no, that's just him.
Brian's mother: Oh, I was going to say, otherwise there'd be a lot of them.
Quote:
Roger Murtaugh: God hates me. That's what it is.
Martin Riggs: Hate him back; it works for me.
Martin Riggs: Hate him back; it works for me.
and of course:
Lee Butters wrote:
You have the right to remain silent. So shut the fUck up! You have a right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney we'll provide you with the dumbest fUckin lawyer on earth. And if you hire Johnny Cochrane I'll kill you.
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Point Break, in addition to being one of the most ripped off movies (i.e. Fast and Furious etc.), is almost 100% pure quotable script from start to finish. That's why it's the #1 MonxMovie, way too good for that faq who posts here to have the name Bodhi.
Edited, Mar 2nd 2007 2:28pm by MonxDoT
Quote:
Roach: You're about to jump out a perfectly good airplane Jonny, how do you feel about that?
Bodhi: It's basic dog psychology, if you scare them and get them peeing down their leg, they submit. But if you project weakness, that promotes violence, and that's how people get hurt.
Roach: Peace, through superior firepower.
Bohdi: Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.
Ben Harp: You're a real blue flame special, aren't you, son? Young, dumb and full of come, I know. What I don't know is how you got assigned here. Guess we must just have ourselves an a$$hole shortage, huh?
Johnny Utah: [quietly] Not so far.
Pappas: Reagan usually does the driving. Stolen switch car. They leave it running... on the curb. It look sparked from the distance. When they run they dump the vehicle and they vanish... like a virgin on prom night. I mean they vanish, swishh...
Pappas: 22 years. Man, L.A. has changed a lot during that time. The air got dirty and the sex got clean.
Pappas: This Calvin and Hobbes is funny! [Turkey Cemetary]
Bodhi: If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love.
Ben Harp: You know nothing. In fact, you know less than nothing. If you knew that you knew nothing, then that would be something, but you don't.
Johnny Utah: Okay. I get it. This is where you tell me that "locals rule", and that Yuppie insects like me shouldn't be surfing the break, right?
Bunker Weiss: [smiling] Nope.
Red Hot Chili Peppers Dude: That would be a waste of time...
Lupton "Warchild" Pittman: We're just gonna fuck you up!
Bodhi: 100% pure adrenaline! Other guys snort for it, jab a vein for it. All you gotta do is jump.
Bodhi: What's the matter with you guys? This was never about the money, this was about us against the system. That system that kills the human spirit. We stand for something. We are here to show those guys that are inching their way on the freeways in their metal coffins that the human sprit is still alive.
Bodhi: It's basic dog psychology, if you scare them and get them peeing down their leg, they submit. But if you project weakness, that promotes violence, and that's how people get hurt.
Roach: Peace, through superior firepower.
Bohdi: Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.
Ben Harp: You're a real blue flame special, aren't you, son? Young, dumb and full of come, I know. What I don't know is how you got assigned here. Guess we must just have ourselves an a$$hole shortage, huh?
Johnny Utah: [quietly] Not so far.
Pappas: Reagan usually does the driving. Stolen switch car. They leave it running... on the curb. It look sparked from the distance. When they run they dump the vehicle and they vanish... like a virgin on prom night. I mean they vanish, swishh...
Pappas: 22 years. Man, L.A. has changed a lot during that time. The air got dirty and the sex got clean.
Pappas: This Calvin and Hobbes is funny! [Turkey Cemetary]
Bodhi: If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love.
Ben Harp: You know nothing. In fact, you know less than nothing. If you knew that you knew nothing, then that would be something, but you don't.
Johnny Utah: Okay. I get it. This is where you tell me that "locals rule", and that Yuppie insects like me shouldn't be surfing the break, right?
Bunker Weiss: [smiling] Nope.
Red Hot Chili Peppers Dude: That would be a waste of time...
Lupton "Warchild" Pittman: We're just gonna fuck you up!
Bodhi: 100% pure adrenaline! Other guys snort for it, jab a vein for it. All you gotta do is jump.
Bodhi: What's the matter with you guys? This was never about the money, this was about us against the system. That system that kills the human spirit. We stand for something. We are here to show those guys that are inching their way on the freeways in their metal coffins that the human sprit is still alive.
Edited, Mar 2nd 2007 2:28pm by MonxDoT
Snatch was awesome 
Edited, Mar 2nd 2007 2:33pm by Althrun
Quote:
Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"? What's to stop it from blowing your ******** off every time you sit down?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"? What's to stop it from blowing your ******** off every time you sit down?
Quote:
Bullet Tooth Tony: A bookie's got blagged last night.
Avi: Blagged? Do me a favor, Tony, speak English. I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.
Avi: Blagged? Do me a favor, Tony, speak English. I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.
Quote:
Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you’re obviously the big dick. And these two on either side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey ***got balls.
Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey ***got balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your guns, and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... fuck off.
Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey ***got balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your guns, and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O" written on the side of mine should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... fuck off.
Edited, Mar 2nd 2007 2:33pm by Althrun
Quote:
It's better to destroy than create what's unnecessary.
Film and character not required for this discriminating audience of film.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
I've never done anything right in my life. Not once. That takes skill.
and something about a movie quote
and something about a movie quote
publiusvarus wrote:
we all know liberals are well adjusted american citizens who only want what's best for society. While conservatives are evil money grubbing scum who only want to sh*t on the little man and rob the world of its resources.
Apocalypse Now wrote:
They teach them to drop fire on people, but won't let them write fuck on their airplane because it's obscene.
"You want to know why I'm touching myself? Because I have my friends next to me, and they're gonna fUck".-Large breasted naked from the waist down blonde in chapter two of Facial Blast. This quote is made even better because it takes place in an obviously fake public restroom.
Anything from one of the Monty Python movies. There just chocked full o' goodness.
"Your father smelt of elderberries!"
"Your father smelt of elderberries!"
FearAndLoathinInLasVegas wrote:
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Samira and I like the same movie.
"You dont want to die, and I dont want to kill you, so dont go for your gun." Or something close to that.
Another quote I often use. "This is the beginning of a marvelous relationship"
and in game I use "Bring out your dead!"
Oh and the Stooges NYUK NYUK NYUK.
"You dont want to die, and I dont want to kill you, so dont go for your gun." Or something close to that.
Another quote I often use. "This is the beginning of a marvelous relationship"
and in game I use "Bring out your dead!"
Oh and the Stooges NYUK NYUK NYUK.
Jeff Bridges wrote:
Yeah, well, like, you know, that's just your opinion, man.
Cheech says:
One network TV they bleep it out and instead insert kittens. It's almost funnier that way.
Harvey says:
Depp says:
--DK
Quote:
"Buy one p*ssy get a p*ssy for one cent! That's right! P*ssy for one cent! If you can find cheaper p*ssy anywere...F*CK IT!!
One network TV they bleep it out and instead insert kittens. It's almost funnier that way.
Harvey says:
Quote:
There's been some mistake. You say this bar is for truckers and bikers only? Look out your window and you'll see a big RV. You need a class C license to operate one of those vehicles. You say this bar is for truckers and bikers? I'm a trucker and these are my friends...
Tough Mexican:...Welcome to the ***** Twister!
Tough Mexican:...Welcome to the ***** Twister!
Depp says:
Quote:
Are you a Mexican or a Mexican't?
--DK
Ash wrote:
I got news for you pal. You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and ****. And Jack just left town.
Indiana's Papa wrote:
You're the man now, dog!
Love,
PunkFloyd
PunkFloyd
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