Road Review - A714Follow

Everyone seems to write car reviews these days, but I decided to be different and review one of my favoUrite stretches of road.

**WARNING** Long Post!

The A714 is a narrow, winding road from the market town of Newton Stewart in Dumfries & Galloway (southern Scotland) and the seaside resort of Girvan.

Twenty Five years ago I'd be writing a review of it from a motorcyclist's perspective (ToUtem - If you ever want to hear that new Bike of yours have multiple orgamsms; visit this road). As it is, my drive was in an average British 2 Litre, 5-speed manual gearbox Saloon car. It's no supercar (it's a diesel) but it does enjoy playing in the naughty corner now and again.

As you weave between the cars, delivery vans, tractors and Land Rovers in Newton Stewart, the 30MPH road-signs are redundant - anything over 15mph will reward you with the need for a respray at best, but more likely a new front wing and headlight unit. And probably a very very nasty fight with an hairy-***** lowland Clansman.

Passing the depressing grey, squat houses, your foot itches over the throttle pedal, desperate to leave this dour little town. Thankfully, as you take the spur that heads North, you see the signs ahead that indicate the end of the speed limit.

As you pass the last house, you drop from 3rd to 2nd and floor it. A long, flat straight takes you through lush green fields, with the stunning Galloway Hills rising either side of the road. As the beech trees pass more quickly alongside you and the rev-counter hits 5.5Krpm in 2nd, then 3rd, you're ready for the first serious need to drive. As the speedo hits 60 you hold your nerve and take a 45 degree bend that then rises to the right. Up to 4th, and keeping the revs in the power band the River Cree comes into view beside the road, and you gently ease the power up to hold the wheels firm on the road. Leaving at 75 the steering wheel is pushing back just enough as you now resist the urge to hit 5th gear.

A little oversteer, and the rear end slides out just a tad, lining you up for a series of sweeping 20-30 degree bends. Keeping it below 80 for now, there's 6 inches between your passenger door and the dry-stone wall if you stay on your own side of the road, and the white lines in the middle of the road begin to flicker like a stroboscope on a mime artiste. The scenery is now spectacular, but don't be tempted to look left at Penninghame Castle, or you'll miss that nasty rise where you need to dop just below 70 - You'll need all 4 wheels on the road for the slow left hander that noe curves right and downwards towards the boulders on the river bank.

After a nice straight where you can let the engine breathe in 5th for a while, you should be ready to slow quickly from 85 to 65 in short order. The switchback bends need to be treated with respect. If you have confidence in your handbrake and fast de-clutching, you can hold 55-65 through the bends. (If not, and you want full traction all the way through - drop to 3rd and hold it below 55). The last bend needs some corner cutting - hold a centre line so the tail-slide stays on tarmac and you can feel the suspension straighten at the exit onto the fast straight. 85 is exhillerating, 90 is a tad scary, and 100 makes you grip the wheel like Oprah holds onto a Big Mac.

Allowing enough yardage to brake from 100 to 65 without losing traction, you're entering the forest section. Every tree-trunk (a few grazed and coated with old car paintwork) whizzes by with a satisfying 'wheesh' sound. Staying in 4th to maintain a centre-line, you can sustain 65 for most of the curves, although unless you drop to 60 as you slide past Spectacle Loch, you may discover that adrenaline is brown and initially quite warm and moist.

You're now on a deceptive straight - the single-track, mediaeval humpback bridge allows a mere 4" gap either side of the car and is followed by a double switchback that takes you from 60 to 40 and up to 75 quicker than George Bush can invade Tripoli.

By now you should be either grinning like a simpleton with a new neck-brace and anti-drool tissues, parked in a lay-by wondering why you had to scare yourself like that, or picking large parts of Scotland's geography out of your remains.

I won't go on any more - the rest of the journey is a similar delight that seriously tests your engine, brakes, clutch, suspension, nerve and **** sphincter control. For most of it's length, the A714 has enough width for 2 cars (but not a car and a truck) with unforgiving dry-stone walls on either side.

I like going fast, and there are few stretches on this road where you can attain 100mph and still keep your spleen and kidneys within 20 feet of each other. Straight-line speed and raw power are exhilerating (All Hail DF's mighty Stang!), but that drive makes me remember why I love driving.