alright gentlemen.. help me out.Follow

ok. So I hate urinals. I do, however, love the internet for the anonymity it affords me to post frivolous crap like this.

As a little bit of back story, I did not have this issue when I was growing up. Public urination never really presented much of a problem. However, apparently my physiology has seen fit of late to bless me with a rather unexpected gift: extra pee velocity. I have no idea if this malady strikes all men in their early 20's, or if it's just me. Maybe I'm the only one talking about it.

Now, I'll admit there are worse problems to have. But, of course, a lot of those problems actually have documented solutions. With this.. I'm kinda just in the dark. The extra *oomph* that my bladder puts behind that stream causes splashing. And that is the crux of my dilemma here. How do I go about fixing the damn splashing? I've come up with a few ideas, but all have their downsides.

1) Try new angles. Instead of straight, go left! Go right! Go up, go down! Results seem to be mixed, at best. Sometimes this works completely, sometimes only one arm gets the pee-misting. It really depends on the urinal in question. Too unreliable.

2) Pinch it off to slow the stream. There are actually two methods to do this: one employs your kegal (sp?) muscles, the other has you physically pinch with your hand. The former is difficult to control (you try it!), the latter is uncomfortable at best. Maybe I just need more practice here.

3) Stand further away. After preliminary testing, an increase of 6-8 inches does indeed help to lessen the splashing and concurrently put me further from said splashing. So what's the problem? Well, as you get further from the urinal, the Unit becomes exponentially more viewable to your neighbors. And honestly if you're standing a couple feet away from the urinal, whizzing merrily away, people are going to be looking. I don't really want to be *that guy*.

Thoughts?

Bottle it up, then sell it as an herbal tea. Nobody will know the difference, and you'll make a fortune.

So do I: Go find somewhere else to post your silly **** and, oh yea, Go fUck yourself.

I recommend wrapping your ***** in toilet paper, like a wee mummy. That should help slow it down, plus it's an outer representation of your inner dumbass.

Edited, Feb 16th 2007 3:35pm by Atomicflea

There's your answer. Your unit is so small that the tiny pipe your urine goes through is excellerating your urine to a higher velocity than normal. Due to your abnormally small unit the distance from your unit to the urinal is outside standard perameters and therefore is not at splashback nullification distance.

These two factors combine to create excessive splashback.

Solution: stop forgetting to take your sex change medication and/or switch to the surgical method.

Is his pooper also an issue?

OMG FLYING **** BALLS!!!!

OOOh OOOH I got this one!

....defecate on the street!

Install a fluidic torque converter on the end fitting. that should decrease the output pressure.