A Japanese company (Toyota ) and an American company (Ford) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River . Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese team won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.
So Ford management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. The consultants advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the Ford's rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 Steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant Superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles!
Humiliated, the Ford management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.
The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
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A fable of our automobile industry todayFollow
That's too close to the truth to be really funny.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
Excellent, now if only more people in my midwest town would realize that foreign auto's aren't the devil.
~Rock
~Rock
It's cute and all, but it sort of downplays the part about US workers being spoiled lazy selfish morons in favor of US managers being spoiled lazy selfish morons when both are about equally true.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
I was going to say, I was all jazzed up for an anti-union screed and all of our automotive industry problems being blamed on communism.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Smasharoo wrote:
It's cute and all, but it sort of downplays the part about US workers being spoiled lazy selfish morons in favor of US managers being spoiled lazy selfish morons when both are about equally true.
So he should have added a bit about the rower demanding more pay and more time off while expecting to do less work? What is this, a third world country? We demand our payed three week vacations, 401Ks and full medical!
Edited, Feb 16th 2007 1:14pm by GitSlayer
I give it from now till 15 years from now when all American automakers are bought by foreign automakers (European, Japanese). Their cars simply last longer, run smoother, and their warranties and costumer service are superior. I mean, a rare thing could happen and American auto makers get the clue to actually take care of someone AFTER they buy the car, but I wouldn't hold your breath.
Don't give me that rubbish about "trucks" either. The Tundra and Tacoma are both really nice, and dependable trucks, with better warranties. SUV's are a joke anymore, their sales keep falling and falling as gas prices rise and rise.
Don't give me that rubbish about "trucks" either. The Tundra and Tacoma are both really nice, and dependable trucks, with better warranties. SUV's are a joke anymore, their sales keep falling and falling as gas prices rise and rise.
I give it from now till 15 years from now when all American automakers are bought by foreign automakers (European, Japanese).
There is no such thing as an "American" automaker at this point. There are just giant international conglomerates. Ford is actually Ford/Mazda/Jaguar/Rover/Austin Martin. Chrysler is actually Mercedes/Dodge/Smart/etc. GM is Buick/Chevrolet/Saab/Daewoo etc.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Who makes Nissans?
Smasharoo wrote:
GM is Buick/Chevrolet/Saab/Daewoo etc.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Who makes Nissans?
Robots, I imagine. :)
They are apparently owned by Renault, though, which I had no idea about until Wiki told me.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
Atomicflea wrote:
Who makes Nissans?
A group of underpayed over-worked foreigners.
Otherwise Renault has like a 44 1/2% interest in Nissan.
Jophiel wrote:
Smasharoo wrote:
GM is Buick/Chevrolet/Saab/Daewoo etc.
Atomicflea wrote:
Jophiel wrote:
Smasharoo wrote:
GM is Buick/Chevrolet/Saab/Daewoo etc.
Yea but they had a pretty nifty slogan thing going on with their name.
"Daaaaaayyy-woooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
I like sounds.
It isn't just cars either....
In our customer service phone menu callers have been asked by the system if they would like to take a satisfaction survey at the end of the call... 1=yes 2=no, you get the picture. I'm sure like myself and probably most of you, the customers usually hit "no".
Today I was told that as of Tuesday that part of the phone menu is going to be removed and at the end of every call we have to ask if they want to take a satisfaction survey, if they say no we have to end the call normally, if they say yes we have to dial the extension, enter our employee ID when it picks up, when that goes through we have to press 1 for member survey, and when it connects we transfer the call.
Probably adding a good 30 seconds to every call where the member wants to take the survey. When there are calls in queue that means that every person in that queue is on hold an additional 30 seconds, and if another person says yes, well 30 more seconds to everyone in queue. And when the members are pissed because their average hold time is going to start going up, well, pissed off customers are actually MORE likely to want to take a satisfaction survey.
Now, you have to also realize that we are supposed to be clearing calls as quickly as possible, call time and hold times are actually measured/graded and our performance as a team is ranked based on statistics like these, which in turn is used to calculate our bonuses (if any are earned).
Before, when it was automated, that question in the phone menu did not count toward our hold times, because the customers were not actually in our queue yet. Now they will be because we have to ask the pre-written question and do the transfer for them.
What is the upper-management explanation for this lunacy? "We want to make the question more personal"....... (sigh)
How do they make the big money? Seriously, how do they justify their paychecks?
In our customer service phone menu callers have been asked by the system if they would like to take a satisfaction survey at the end of the call... 1=yes 2=no, you get the picture. I'm sure like myself and probably most of you, the customers usually hit "no".
Today I was told that as of Tuesday that part of the phone menu is going to be removed and at the end of every call we have to ask if they want to take a satisfaction survey, if they say no we have to end the call normally, if they say yes we have to dial the extension, enter our employee ID when it picks up, when that goes through we have to press 1 for member survey, and when it connects we transfer the call.
Probably adding a good 30 seconds to every call where the member wants to take the survey. When there are calls in queue that means that every person in that queue is on hold an additional 30 seconds, and if another person says yes, well 30 more seconds to everyone in queue. And when the members are pissed because their average hold time is going to start going up, well, pissed off customers are actually MORE likely to want to take a satisfaction survey.
Now, you have to also realize that we are supposed to be clearing calls as quickly as possible, call time and hold times are actually measured/graded and our performance as a team is ranked based on statistics like these, which in turn is used to calculate our bonuses (if any are earned).
Before, when it was automated, that question in the phone menu did not count toward our hold times, because the customers were not actually in our queue yet. Now they will be because we have to ask the pre-written question and do the transfer for them.
What is the upper-management explanation for this lunacy? "We want to make the question more personal"....... (sigh)
How do they make the big money? Seriously, how do they justify their paychecks?
Kaelesh wrote:
Atomicflea wrote:
We used to sell Daewoo at an old job of mine. Back in the late 90s, Daewoo made VCRs and TVs, and truly crappy ones at that. I couldn't imagine buying a car from them.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
How do they make the big money? Seriously, how do they justify their paychecks?
If they still have call centers in North America, not very well it would seem.
Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.
When US-built cars are no longer delivered with a production-line worker's coke bottle in the glove box and half-eaten cheese sandwich under the seat, you might have a chance.
Meanwhile, you're screwed.
Meanwhile, you're screwed.
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Stop catering lunch to buyers, got it.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
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