"Yes, I regret it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said I hate gay people or anything like that," he said. "That was my mistake. I was informed by my agent today that while it's well known that everyone hates filthy fudgepackers who constantly stare at your meaty love juice filled man log in the shower, speaking about it is wrong. Apparently the thing to do is just to do everything you can in private to ruin their lives while in public smiling at them. Not wanting to touch them is, of course, fine, and everyone can understand that you wouldn't want to change clothes in front of them in a locker room. No, naked *** slapping and the occasional accidental **** touching is reserved only for hetero men not out to steal my precious seed."
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Disclaimer:
To make a long story short, I don't take any responsibility for anything I post here. It's not news, it's not truth, it's not serious. It's parody. It's satire. It's bitter. It's angsty. Your mother's a *****. You like to jack off dogs. That's right, you heard me. You like to grab that dog by the bone and rub it like a ski pole. Your dad? Gay. Your priest? Straight. **** off and let me post. It's not true, it's all in good fun. Now go away.