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#1 Feb 07 2007 at 1:51 PM Rating: Excellent
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I just wrapped up another contract so I've about 2 weeks off before I start my next gig. I joined a gym and just had my first cycling (spinning) class today ever. 60 minutes of pure torture. 30 minutes into it, I was thinking how to best escape the torture. Who would I have to bribe? How can I make everyone in class go temporarily blind as I skulk my way out of there? Yes, it kicked my ***. Yes, I wanted to kill the idiots who were being "motivating" by cheering us on in our imaginary ride in the country on flat roads and hills. Damn them. Damn them all to hell! Smiley: motz

Somehow, though, I made my way through the whole session and emerged sweaty and triumphant (well, I didn't outright collapse amidst my own fecal matter and urine). The legs, they burn and feel tons heavier. The stairs, she is my bitter, bitter enemy.

Note to self: idiot, buy some nice cushioned bicycle pants for future sessions. The little seat was probably more torture (i.e., **** raping) than the actual cycling itself.

And now, I go to lie down upstairs (damn you, stairs!). I may or may not be posting anytime soon, as that depends on the will of my legs to actually move from my bedroom back downstairs to the office - the stairs, the stairs... Smiley: madSmiley: crySmiley: mad

Salvation, thy name is Advil...

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'Lo, there do I see, the line of my people, back to the beginning, 'lo do they call to me, they bid me take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave...may live...forever.

X-Box 360 Gamer Tag - Smogster
#2 Feb 07 2007 at 1:54 PM Rating: Good
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I've seen many a man felled by spinning.

/commiserate
#4REDACTED, Posted: Feb 07 2007 at 1:55 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) I'm anxiously anticipating when I can start biking again around the city. All I've been doing athletically this winter is sit ups, curls, and chopping a lot of wood. Fortunately springs usually come early here.
#5 Feb 07 2007 at 2:00 PM Rating: Good
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Spinning is hardcore. Those teachers are relentless, and the bike seats are torture devices. If you haven't worked on your legs in quite some time, it's not a good idea to start with that.
#6 Feb 07 2007 at 2:16 PM Rating: Decent
I swear those seats were designed, by some man-hating ********, to shove your nuts back up inside you. Spinning 1 Bloodwolfe 0. I feel for ya Bro. I tried spinning once and never again!

Edit: for missing s in nuts.

Edited, Feb 7th 2007 2:17pm by BloodwolfeX
#7REDACTED, Posted: Feb 07 2007 at 2:17 PM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) lol when you said spinning I was thinking of one my recent girlfriends; spinners are nice =)
#8 Feb 07 2007 at 2:19 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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TILT
You date spinsters?
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#9 Feb 07 2007 at 2:24 PM Rating: Good
Ministry of Silly Cnuts
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19,524 posts
You mean meatspinning right?
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#10 Feb 07 2007 at 2:25 PM Rating: Excellent
Liberal Conspiracy
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TILT
Speaking of losing weight, after a bajillion years of weight loss products "Proven to work in clinical studies!" but never approved by the FDA...
The 4th Estate wrote:
FDA approves first non-prescription sale of diet pill

WASHINGTON -- The Food and Drug Administration on Wednesday approved over-the-counter sales of the diet pill orlistat.

Currently available by prescription as Xenical, the capsules will now be sold in a lower, non-prescription dose under the name Alli.

It is intended for use by people 18 and older along with a reduced-calorie, low-fat diet and exercise program.
Look for it soon!
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#11 Feb 07 2007 at 2:55 PM Rating: Decent
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3,829 posts
Jophiel wrote:
Speaking of losing weight, after a bajillion years of weight loss products "Proven to work in clinical studies!" but never approved by the FDA...
The 4th Estate wrote:
FDA approves first non-prescription sale of diet pill

WASHINGTON -- The Food and Drug Administration on Wednesday approved over-the-counter sales of the diet pill orlistat.

Currently available by prescription as Xenical, the capsules will now be sold in a lower, non-prescription dose under the name Alli.

It is intended for use by people 18 and older along with a reduced-calorie, low-fat diet and exercise program.
Look for it soon!


Hmmm, wonder if, when it's marketed without a prescription, they'll do like they do on the commercials for the prescription version and warn that one of the side effects is fecal incontinence?

Wouldn't THAT be a lovely selling point!
#12 Feb 07 2007 at 3:20 PM Rating: Decent
Quote:
It is intended for use by people 18 and older along with a reduced-calorie, low-fat diet and exercise program.


Then why the heck take those pills?
#13 Feb 07 2007 at 6:25 PM Rating: Excellent
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Flea wrote:
Quote:
Spinning is hardcore. Those teachers are relentless, and the bike seats are torture devices. If you haven't worked on your legs in quite some time, it's not a good idea to start with that.


I made it back downstairs and feel a bit better. It will be rough tomorrow, but I'll be chilling at home. I'm going to do the cycling (YMCA calls it cycling as opposed to spinning, go figure) every other day to start off, so I'll be back to it on Friday. Fortunately, I have been jogging on my treadmill and swimming, but the front of my thighs obviously haven't been utitilized for some time, ergo the whole burn and what not.

True, it is a hardcore regiment, but I will stick with it. Luckily, I can go at our own pace and trust me, I still got my *** kicked - but in a good way. I can only get better (well, hopefully, instead of keeling over). As much as it is pure torture, cycling is my ticket for getting healthier.

The jogging on the treadmill wasn't doing it for me (knees started to ache) and speed walking is really boring and doesn't really generate the sweat/fat burning I need. I also tried swimming, but that actually bulked me up more muscularly (hidden with the layers of my lard) and I gained 15 pounds. All I'm concerned with at this point is shedding the pounds. Once I'm back down to a reasonable weight (175 - 180 lbs.), I'll work on toning up.

Full disclosure (and trust me, I'm fully humiliated with myself for letting it get this bad)- I'm up to 274 lbs (6 ft tall).

My wife joined a gym across the street from her work and went to her first spinning class last week. It was brutal for her, too, but she loved it and will be sticking with it as well.
____________________________
'Lo, there do I see, the line of my people, back to the beginning, 'lo do they call to me, they bid me take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave...may live...forever.

X-Box 360 Gamer Tag - Smogster
#14 Feb 07 2007 at 6:27 PM Rating: Excellent
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Bang!

Your welcome!
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#15 Feb 07 2007 at 6:33 PM Rating: Excellent
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Thanks Kao! *whinny!! *THUD. Smiley: deadhorse
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'Lo, there do I see, the line of my people, back to the beginning, 'lo do they call to me, they bid me take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave...may live...forever.

X-Box 360 Gamer Tag - Smogster
#16 Feb 07 2007 at 6:47 PM Rating: Excellent
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congratulations smoggy!
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#17 Feb 07 2007 at 7:20 PM Rating: Excellent
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Zieveraar wrote:
Quote:
It is intended for use by people 18 and older along with a reduced-calorie, low-fat diet and exercise program.
Then why the heck take those pills?
Random Wikipedia Dude wrote:
Orlistat (marketed as Xenical® by Roche), also known as tetrahydrolipstatin, is a drug designed to treat obesity.[1] Its primary function is preventing the absorption of fats from the human diet, thereby reducing caloric intake. It is intended for use in conjunction with a physician-supervised reduced calorie diet.
I guess it further reduces your calories to help dieting but it alone won't save you from your triple cheeseburger and ice cream cake lunches.
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Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
#18 Feb 08 2007 at 12:17 AM Rating: Decent
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Smoggy the Mighty wrote:
that actually bulked me up more muscularly (hidden with the layers of my lard) and I gained 15 pounds. All I'm concerned with at this point is shedding the pounds.


Don't forget that adding muscle will only help you to shed the fat in the long run(when combined with a sensible diet and aerobic exercise). A higher resting metabolism will mean you burn more calories all the time, and muscle is the key to that.

Not to mention the added calorie burning effect that muscles have as they repair themselves and grow after a strenuous muscle building session.
#19 Feb 08 2007 at 4:53 AM Rating: Good
YAY! Canaduhian
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Poor Smoggy! Smiley: laugh

Good for you for getting out there, torture aside.
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#20 Feb 08 2007 at 5:28 AM Rating: Good
Imaginary Friend
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Quickly! Get your fat *** on that bike,
Smoggy! Oh, that's right, Smoggy ... don't
make any
fUcking effort to get to the top of
the fUcking bike! If God
wanted you up
there He would have miracled your *** up
there by
now, wouldn't He?
Get your fat *** up there,Smoggy!
What the hell is the matter with you
anyway?
I'll bet you if there was some pUssy up there
on top of
that bike you could get up there!
Couldn't you?!
Get up there, fatboy! Quickly! Move it up!
Move it up,
Smoggy! Move it up! You cyle like old people fUck. Do you
know
that, Smoggy? Get up there! You're too
slow! Move it,
move it! Smoggy, what-
ever you do, don't fall down! That
would
break my fUcking heart! Quickly!
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#21REDACTED, Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 7:19 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) 274?! at 6ft...
#22 Feb 08 2007 at 7:21 AM Rating: Good
Soulless Internet Tiger
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35,474 posts
Best routine for weight loss:

Cardio in the morning-gets blood pumping for the day and speeds up your metabolism.
Weights at night--keeps the body working even while you're sleeping.

Good luck finding a way to get into that routine though.
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#23 Feb 08 2007 at 7:28 AM Rating: Excellent
Nexa
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12,065 posts
I find the best weightloss routine is either: a. divorce/breakup, b. unexpected job loss, or c. horrifying stomach virus.

I'm down 25 pounds from nine months ago!

:D

Nexa
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#24 Feb 08 2007 at 7:31 AM Rating: Good
Nexa wrote:
I find the best weightloss routine is either: a. divorce/breakup, b. unexpected job loss, or c. horrifying stomach virus.

I'm down 25 pounds from nine months ago!

:D

Nexa
Pics or it never happened.
#25 Feb 08 2007 at 7:36 AM Rating: Good
I gained twenty-five pounds when I stopped drinking every day. So you might consider drinking every day to jump-start things, Smoggy.
#26REDACTED, Posted: Feb 08 2007 at 7:55 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) It's really quite simple run, or bike. That's it do it often, don't consume beer, and eat healthy and everything else will take care of itself.
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