Really, ********* weekend ever.
I get a call on Thursday night from my ex-wife saying that the fuzz was blowing up her phone trying to find me. They claimed to have a warrant for my arrest and were searching all over town for my ****** ***. They had also went to my ex-mother-in-law's workplace asking her all sorts of questions about me. My ex-flatmate also sent me a text message letting me know that two troopers were at the English Pub looking for me. They also stopped at the dive bar I frequent and at the bar that my family used to own.
I live in a small town, so by the end of the night I had received five phone calls and heard numerous people at several different bars all informing me of what was going on. On the lam now, I cut bail and got the f'uck out of town to lay low for a bit until I could find out what the deal was.
The next morning I called my lawyer, the court house, and the local State Police troop. Apparently I had a Failure to appear warrant for my arrest, yay me! I call in to work and decide to go to the court house to try and work things out. On my way there, right as I hit the stop sign at the end of my road, my car just dies. It made this loud cracking noise from the engine and every time I hit the gas it would just make this obnoxious banging noise from the front of the car. It took a little while, but after beating the **** out of the car and verbally reprimanding it several times, she finally decided to get her *** in gear.
When I got to the court house to clear things up with them, the clerk gave me a rundown of what had happened. Turns out they were sending all of the court documents to the wrong address and I never received any of them. She also informed me that I had to turn myself in to the police, but not to do it now because I would have to spend all weekend in jail and that Monday morning would be the best time.
So I go home thinking **** is copacetic, chill out with a cold one, and wait around for nightfall. A couple hours later, two cops are beating down my door and take me away in cuffs to stick me in a cold *** cell with no shoes on and a serious attitude problem. I really think that I don't ever want to do hard time. I spent ~4 hours in a jail cell and I was already losing it. So.f'ucking.boring.
ok, I'm getting bored with this so I'll wrap things up.
That night I ended up stranded way out of town. Lost my keys. The chick that I was supposed to be doing dirty things to at the time is off in Syracuse. And I wake up this morning sick as a dog; I think I might have a sinus infection.
So, in summation.
1. Got arrested
2. Broked my car
3. No ***
4. Got stuck in Brooklyn, drinking till 6 AM
5. Now I've got the bird flu.
All in all, this was a ****** few days. Anyone that had a good time this weekend, GFY.