So this weekend sucked ****.Follow

Really, ********* weekend ever.

I get a call on Thursday night from my ex-wife saying that the fuzz was blowing up her phone trying to find me. They claimed to have a warrant for my arrest and were searching all over town for my ****** ***. They had also went to my ex-mother-in-law's workplace asking her all sorts of questions about me. My ex-flatmate also sent me a text message letting me know that two troopers were at the English Pub looking for me. They also stopped at the dive bar I frequent and at the bar that my family used to own.

I live in a small town, so by the end of the night I had received five phone calls and heard numerous people at several different bars all informing me of what was going on. On the lam now, I cut bail and got the f'uck out of town to lay low for a bit until I could find out what the deal was.

The next morning I called my lawyer, the court house, and the local State Police troop. Apparently I had a Failure to appear warrant for my arrest, yay me! I call in to work and decide to go to the court house to try and work things out. On my way there, right as I hit the stop sign at the end of my road, my car just dies. It made this loud cracking noise from the engine and every time I hit the gas it would just make this obnoxious banging noise from the front of the car. It took a little while, but after beating the **** out of the car and verbally reprimanding it several times, she finally decided to get her *** in gear.

When I got to the court house to clear things up with them, the clerk gave me a rundown of what had happened. Turns out they were sending all of the court documents to the wrong address and I never received any of them. She also informed me that I had to turn myself in to the police, but not to do it now because I would have to spend all weekend in jail and that Monday morning would be the best time.

So I go home thinking **** is copacetic, chill out with a cold one, and wait around for nightfall. A couple hours later, two cops are beating down my door and take me away in cuffs to stick me in a cold *** cell with no shoes on and a serious attitude problem. I really think that I don't ever want to do hard time. I spent ~4 hours in a jail cell and I was already losing it. So.f'ucking.boring.

ok, I'm getting bored with this so I'll wrap things up.

That night I ended up stranded way out of town. Lost my keys. The chick that I was supposed to be doing dirty things to at the time is off in Syracuse. And I wake up this morning sick as a dog; I think I might have a sinus infection.

So, in summation.

1. Got arrested
2. Broked my car
3. No ***
4. Got stuck in Brooklyn, drinking till 6 AM
5. Now I've got the bird flu.

All in all, this was a ****** few days. Anyone that had a good time this weekend, GFY.

JD *hugs*

I've got nothing to complain about. New job offer, new house, things are on the mend with Mr. Thumb for the most part. So I won't go into details and just say I'm sending you happy thoughts.

Once while waiting to be booked and prior to my stripsearch, they brought in this beast of a woman and sent two female officers in to strip her. About ten minutes later we all start noticing this little red light going off above the door she had been taken through. Deputies started sprinting for the room, and returned moments later with this huge naked woman, arm-locked and bruised. She had beat the Shit out of this dainty little lady-cop. They locked her in one of the cells on the side of the booking area; one of the cells with a floor to ceiling plexi-glass window on it. I was bailed out before I even got searched, but I'll never forget the two hours she spent pressing her fleshy bits against that window, smearing it with her spittle and whatever else.

In summation: did you have to squat and cough?

That's..... a really bad weekend.

Yeaaa, get your life in order and **** like that don't happen, asshat. You want sympathy tell me about something bad that happened in your life that you had no coontrol over.

Now see a micro-***** is something I can feel sorry for you about. For that you have my complete and absolute utter sympathy. As a matter of fact I feel so bad for you I will even give you a rate up. I hope that helps in some way.

I guess we can't always have mommy around to tie our shoes, hmmm?

"Dude, you should have gotten a druid."

this is what happens when you play MMOs and dont get enough sleep

Does having to go for 2 emercency dental visits and not being able to sleep because of pain even when taking 1000 mg of ibuprofen every 4-6 hours beat what you went through? ******* hate ****** weekends.

So are you a wanted criminal felon mobster nogoodnik now?

Just about as long as it took for me to look at the paperwork she had on file and say "wtf? That's the wrong f'ucking address!". And the cops don't care. I understand they are just doing their jobs like the good little automatons they are. Once you get a FTA bench warrant, the reason why the court issued it is irrelevant. Could be for a murder case or for missing jury duty.Iunno, someone said FTA is a felony but I'm not so sure. I've got court in a week or so to deal with this charge and I'm hoping for a nolly since the documents were sent to the wrong address. I've never been associated with the mob but I've always been a nogoodnik. All of my friends' parents disliked me when we were growing up; strange considering all of my lady-friends' parents loved me, 'specially their moms.

I'll have you all know that today went much better. My fleet sat on my G4 moon from Thursday night until Monday morning unmolested with nary a probe. This chick that I'm kinda seeing, but not really, came over last night and attended to my needs and I am feeling much less like a pile of dog **** this morning. Sweet girl, I think I might keep her around.