People I'd like to poke in the eye...Follow

Jesus, when was the last time anyone saw Pauly Shore?

Oh, there's so many people that deserve an eye-poking. I'd like to have the authority to do so, but even then I think I'd end up with stress fractures in my finger bones, there should be a whole government department set up, Federal Dept. of Eye Pokes and Gouges.

Their first order of business should be the following: (no particular order)

1) Anyone on Fox News, seriously just bring down a Federal Eye Poke Order against the entire organization.

2) Any current, former, or future members of the "moral majority" caught in an extra-marital affair, embezzling funds, molesting subordinates or minors or minor subordinates. Actually any official or spokesperson who has "decried" something in a public forum only to be caught in an equal or greater reprehensible act.

3) Jehovah's Witnesses... do I have to explain this one?

4) News anchors who have to add their own pithy little commentary to stories. Hey moron, you get paid for reading crap someone else wrote... stick to the teleprompter.

5) Agreed with Dr. Phil, Martha Stewart, and I would like to add Donald Trump. All of you, quit being so f***ing full of yourself. (Trump should get a double-eye-poke followed by a gouge).

6) Michael Jackson and Joan Rivers, both of them have platic surgeried yourselves into beings unrecognizable as human anymore, one poke for every time someone has to look at them.

7) Any fat bastards who complain about their weight WHILE eating. Put down the f***ing turkey leg and go jogging.

8) Any women who ask, "Does this make me look fat?" or any other question where you only want ONE of the multitude of possible answers, especially if you are expecting an answer that is a lie. The eye poke should be upped to a double if they complain about a lack of honesty in the relationship.

9) Any celebrities that complain about the hassles of being famous. You have millions of f***ing dollars from fans. You should certainly be capable of spending it on security to keep those same fans off of your property.

10) Parents of screaming children/crying babies in a movie theatre who do not IMMEDIATELY remove their brats to the lobby. Eye pokes for the minors will be held on a probationary basis until their 18th birthday when a review panel will hear testimony on whether the eye poke will be delivered or waived.

I could come up with more... but I'll leave that up to the officials.

Moe.








whoop-whoop-whoop. nyuk-nyuk!


Edit: ******* bs, /s != /sm. stupid markup tags.

Edited, Feb 5th 2007 3:15pm by Jacobsdeception

Didn't he do some reality TV show a couple years ago? His mom owns the Comedy Store in LA and he's managing it or something.

Edit:
As far as poking someone in the eye: the guys who decided to cancel Firefly.


Edited, Feb 5th 2007 3:38pm by BloodwolfeX

Do you need a hug?

These freakin' people on the subway that cough and sneeze and can't be ***** to cover their mouths.

In fact, next time I do believe I WILL poke one of them in the eye.

Maybe with a stick.

It's not worth getting me finger dirty.