So, I've been hearing a lot the last couple of years about this whole Identity Theft thing. Not a big deal, right? I don't give out my personal information, I shred old documents, I keep myself generally safe, right? Surely I'm not at risk.
Oh, no. That's not the case. I have been deluding myself. Apparently I am at risk. And half the time, it'll be someone I know. Someone I thought I could trust. Someone I let in to my house is likely to be the culprit in an identity theft case against me half the time.
Are you f'ucking kidding me? Great, now I have to pat down my parents and sisters (and that one's baby. She's six months old, but you never know what that unscrupulous ***** of a sister of mine will hide in a car seat). I have to search my mother in law, and my wife's siblings, our friends and their kids. And don't even get me started on the little ******* from down the street that mows my lawn once in a while. If I see him so much as glance at my mailbox wrong, I am sooo calling the cops.
I used to live in such a cocooned world. I didn't have a care at all when it came to this identity theft thing. So what has happened recently to scare the sh;t out of me where friends and family are concerned? How could I go from care free and gay to paranoid and edgy?
McGruff, the crime dog. He has set me on a path of vigilance. He has both informed and educated me to the dangers that lurk behind every innocuous house visit and every seemingly innocent knock at the door. You may tilt your head to the side, raise an eyebrow and utter a barely audible "huh?" at my new found dread of visitors, but I assure you, its a very real threat, and the razor wire I am installing is perfectly justified.
After all, if it wasn't a serious problem, they wouldn't have chosen to send the message with a cartoon dog.