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#1 Dec 29 2006 at 9:29 PM Rating: Decent

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Okay, this one is inspired by an acquaintance of mine who is a mother of twins and was recently ranting about some of the stupid remarks she gets from passers-by. For example:

Quote:

Are you breastfeeding BOTH twins?"
Nooo, I'm waving a tit at one and feeding the other, thanks.

"Are they twins?"
No, there was just a buy one, get one free sale.

"Is this one a boy?"
Yes, we're dressing him all in pink to give him a complex. Wait til he finds out his name is Patience.

So, in the best tradition of Bill Engvall, what's your favorite "I can't believe something that stupid just came out of your mouth" moment as a parent?

I need to build up my ******* of witty comebacks.

#2 Dec 29 2006 at 9:58 PM Rating: Good

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Just wait till they hit their teens-- and the boys come over for the chick twin. "Sweeeeet! Tuuuuuh-wins!"

Ok, maybe they'd have to be bi to say that, but you get the idea...

Totem

#3 Dec 30 2006 at 4:44 PM Rating: Excellent

Code Monkey

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My father and his sister were twins. Their parents got asked all the time if they were identical or fraternal twins.

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#4 Dec 30 2006 at 4:51 PM Rating: Good

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Totem wrote:

"Shweeeeet! Tuuuuuh-winsh!"

Totem

I say that anytime teh boobies are released!

#5 Dec 30 2006 at 5:14 PM Rating: Good

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The worst I got was when my first born was a baby and a few people assumed I was a teenage unwed mother, despite the fact I had been married for over two years and owned my own home. I can chuckle now at two specific incidents that had me grinding my teeth at the time.

First was the day son and I were being discharged from the hospital. One of the nurses came in and informed hubby and I that DSS would arrive at our house the following Monday. Of course the worst went through our minds wondering how the hell we could have been such bad parents without having yet left the hospital. When asked why, it was because they thought I was an unwed mother who was nursing. She didnt look at my paperwork and just assumed we weren't married, to which we very quickly straightened her out.

Second was a few months later when I had the plumber come lower our hot water to the suggested temp with a baby in the house. The guy was very gruff as I showed him around the house, baby in arms. In the end he handed me his invoice and coldly informed me to have my parents send him a check. Confused I grabbed my checkbook and wrote him out his bill then. After I handed it to him he turned beet red and asked if I was the Mrs of the house to which I responded yes. He mumbled and apology and said he thought I was a teen mom.

As for stupid questions with the babies, I've been lucky on that aspect so far.

Edited, Dec 30th 2006 8:13pm by DSD

#6 Dec 30 2006 at 5:42 PM Rating: Good

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In October, I was at the mall with my two boys and my husband's cousin plus her two boys. We are walking and there's a state health insurance booth (kinda like the other booths with people profiling people to decide who will buy) that stops both of us and asks if we've ever heard of their insurance. (I'm thinking yeah yeah.. I already have insurance, leave me alone.) My husband's cousin is interested though, so we stop.

I sit on a bench and they're taking forever talking to her and my boys start to get really fussy. I start to tickle them and do everything I can to make them laugh, when one of the women at the booth comes over to me. She says, "You're spoiling them." And I make some obvious notion that there's no way I'm spoiling children by making them laugh.. and then it dawns on her... "Are they brother and sister?" Now, it's not like either one of them are in ANY feminine colors. They are in dark blues as I have actually gotten this a few times and try to make sure they look like boys in public.. I quickly reply "No... <intentional pause> they're brothers." Of course, this makes her beat red and she starts apologizing profusely.

That's one I get a lot. Then I also get "Are they twins?" Even though, Daniel is a good 4 inches taller than Stephen, and they don't even have the same father so they don't look THAT much alike. (Like brothers, but obviously not twins. It'd be more like Arnold Swarzenegger and Danny DeVito in twins. Basically, a leap no one should make.)

#7 Dec 30 2006 at 10:46 PM Rating: Default

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I'd love to see pictures of your baby.

#8 Dec 31 2006 at 5:19 AM Rating: Good

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DSD wrote:

The worst I got was when my first born was a baby and a few people assumed I was a teenage unwed mother, despite the fact I had been married for over two years and owned my own home. I can chuckle now at two specific incidents that had me grinding my teeth at the time.

First was the day son and I were being discharged from the hospital. One of the nurses came in and informed hubby and I that DSS would arrive at our house the following Monday. Of course the worst went through our minds wondering how the hell we could have been such bad parents without having yet left the hospital. When asked why, it was because they thought I was an unwed mother who was nursing. She didnt look at my paperwork and just assumed we weren't married, to which we very quickly straightened her out.

Second was a few months later when I had the plumber come lower our hot water to the suggested temp with a baby in the house. The guy was very gruff as I showed him around the house, baby in arms. In the end he handed me his invoice and coldly informed me to have my parents send him a check. Confused I grabbed my checkbook and wrote him out his bill then. After I handed it to him he turned beet red and asked if I was the Mrs of the house to which I responded yes. He mumbled and apology and said he thought I was a teen mom.

As for stupid questions with the babies, I've been lucky on that aspect so far.

Edited, Dec 30th 2006 8:13pm by DSD

My wife went thru that stuff when we where first married.Now my daughter(my only daughter) gets pissed when everyone asks how come she's never told them about her older "sister"

#9 Dec 31 2006 at 8:25 AM Rating: Good

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There are a lot of ladies in Memphis that I could have killed, each time they mention how I had such a pretty baby and if I took the time to curl her hair into ringlets. Then they would notice her older sister and say that she was cute too.

They were both beautiful girls, but Jamie had very blond curly hair that came down in ringlests naturally, while Ruth's hair was wavey with a touch of red and already had develop a serious expression most of the time.

Thankfully by the time my youngest was born, the only remarks that I would get from strangers, was "Oh, you must be their mother." After a second, I would realized that the person was one of the many parents, in my oldest kindergarden class who watch the girls while I was on bed rest and in the hospital. The only parents I had known before from last time we had been station at Lemoore, had set up baby-sitting for the girls, since I wasn't able to.

My mom made most of our dresses as little girls, so my younger sister and I often got asked if we were twins, when dressed in identical outfits.

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#10 Dec 31 2006 at 11:53 AM Rating: Good

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One of my friends and I were out shopping and we decided to stop at the food mart. As we are sitting there this older caucasian woman comes up to her and points at her child and said, "Wow, that is the first negro child I ever seen chew with his mouth closed. Is that uncommon?"

I about died, I laughed manically. Not a happy laugh more of a psychotic one. My friend looked at her and just politely said, "Thank you, **** you very much."

#11 Jan 01 2007 at 3:05 PM Rating: Decent

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Owning a dog, random people would come up to me and give insane advice - like feed the dog raw chickens (whole; e.g. with bones, internal organs, etc). I assumed this was specific to dogs and actual parents of human children would not be so eccentric. Oh how wrong I was.

The one I do not stand for goes something like this: "Oh! What a beautiful little girl. I hope you aren't vaccinating her."

Maybe it is just a Los Angeles thing, but it is shockingly common. I expect some seriously nasty disease outbreaks here, soon. Every person who tells me this makes me thank God I do vaccinate.

But even if I don't, unless you are actually a doctor giving advice which could lead to serious illness of a child is totally irresponsible.

Give me a reference - I'll look it up.

#12 Jan 02 2007 at 9:26 AM Rating: Good

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I had my daughter at the beach (she was a year old). I had her dressed in a pink bikini and she had bows in her hair. This stupid woman came over and said, "Oh my look at HIM, why I bet HE'S gonna be a real lady killer when HE grows up".

To which I replied, "No I don't think so I'm dressing him as a girl trying to make him gay so he'll never leave me".

Not sure why but she just turned around and stalked off mad?

#13 Jan 02 2007 at 9:48 AM Rating: Decent

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yossarian wrote:

The one I do not stand for goes something like this: "Oh! What a beautiful little girl. I hope you aren't vaccinating her."

Maybe it is just a Los Angeles thing, but it is shockingly common. I expect some seriously nasty disease outbreaks here, soon. Every person who tells me this makes me thank God I do vaccinate.

But even if I don't, unless you are actually a doctor giving advice which could lead to serious illness of a child is totally irresponsible.

Give me a reference - I'll look it up.

Though studies have shown otherwise there was a wide-spread belief that certain vaccines can cause autism.

link

People are generally just stupid and/or uninformed.

#14 Jan 02 2007 at 9:53 AM Rating: Excellent

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Wow... good thing I got measles and mumps the old-fashioned way.

Also good they didn't leave me blind and/or deaf....

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#15 Jan 02 2007 at 9:58 AM Rating: Decent

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The wifes parents got one when she was about 4. A lady from their church asked if they were going to tell her she was adopted. They told her "No, we figure she'll never find out considering she looks just like us."

My in-laws are white and my wife is from Korea. Naw, she'll never figure it out.

#16 Jan 02 2007 at 10:09 AM Rating: Good

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Im reluctant to get my baby his chicken pox vaccinations, and will wait until he's 18 monthsold as opposed to 12 months when they can first get them. Reason being that I'm a freak of nature and somehow ended up getting the chicken pox 3 times. I didnt think much about it, and maybe this is pure coincidence, but when my son got his chicken pox vaccination at 12 months he actually got the chicken pox, along with pnumonia. Poor kid had to stay in the hospital for a day and night stuck to an IV.

After that happened studies came out saying it was more beneficial to wait until the baby was toward the end of the vaccination time, which is 18 months.

#17 Jan 02 2007 at 10:21 AM Rating: Excellent

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Will swallow your soul

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I had chicken pox too. The only vaccinations I know for sure I got, were smallpox and polio.

Then again, my brothers brought every damn thing home from school with them, so I got exposed to a lot of stuff before I would have been vaccinated anyway.

I think my mom was more worried about allergic reactions than anything as esoteric as autism, though.

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#18 REDACTED, Posted: Jan 02 2007 at 11:42 AM, Rating: Sub-Default, (Expand Post) I remember a while ago, I got some advice off my late grandfather. He said the best time to ask for a present was while your parents were having sex.

#19 Jan 02 2007 at 12:35 PM Rating: Decent

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Worst to ask ever... Actually ANYBODY..

"When did you lose your virginity"

#20 Jan 02 2007 at 12:37 PM Rating: Excellent

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Ivanu wrote:

Worst to ask ever... Actually ANYBODY..

"When did you lose your virginity"

What does that have to do with the topic?

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#21 Jan 02 2007 at 1:02 PM Rating: Decent

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Quote:

What does that have to do with the topic?

Quote:

Stupid things people ask/say to parents...

moo

#22 Jan 02 2007 at 1:21 PM Rating: Decent

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Samira wrote:

I had chicken pox too. The only vaccinations I know for sure I got, were smallpox and polio.

Then again, my brothers brought every damn thing home from school with them, so I got exposed to a lot of stuff before I would have been vaccinated anyway.

I think my mom was more worried about allergic reactions than anything as esoteric as autism, though.

I was the plague carrier for chicken pox in my family. All the cousins caught it after I got it, and several families sent their kids over to play with me while I had it--vaccinating the old fashioned way!

I haven't done enough research into the subject to really know for sure what I'm going to do yet, but it's quite possible I'll choose to vaccinate the upcoming kidlet on a delayed schedule. That's one of my projects over the next few months is to dig a little deeper into the subject and find the arguements for and against delayed vaccinations. Don't think I'll skip altogether, though, if for no other reason than the headaches is can cause with school enrollment and whatnot.

#23 Jan 02 2007 at 1:28 PM Rating: Good

Imaginary Friend

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can't raelly contribute, but I have to add:

Are they twins?
No, he's an only child. Who's your eye doctor?
Are they twins?
NO, they are a pair of identical strangers.

Is this your little girl?
No, this is my little boy , the sissy.
Is this your little girl?
No, this is my great-aunt Margaret. She's not feeling too well.

Smiley: twocents

Smiley: twocents

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#24 Jan 02 2007 at 1:31 PM Rating: Good

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Samira wrote:

Then again, my brothers brought every damn thing home from school with them, so I got exposed to a lot of stuff before I would have been vaccinated anyway.

My brother got chicken pox first and then chased me around the house rubbing his scabby arms on me to ensure that I got it as well.

#25 Jan 02 2007 at 2:38 PM Rating: Good

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I have photos of my kids on my desk.

Some years ago (when they were cute) a woman passed my desk and commented:

"Oh what cute kids! Are they yours?"

What kind of a stupid fUcking question is that? I then realised it was often asked, so my stock answer became:

"No. No idea who they are, but they're Gorgeous aren't they" (accompanied by a strange knowing smile).

Freaks 'em every time.

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#26 Jan 02 2007 at 3:13 PM Rating: Good

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I adopted my two boys (my husband is their biological father) and the comment I always get is "You adopted them? But they look so much like you! They look nothing like their father!" Not sure how that happened. I just smile and say thank you and go on my merry way.

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