Stolen from Fark!
Things I learned today; God does not approve of men who ********* have been crushed or removed.
Nephs got some 'splaining to do to the Lord!
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Bode - 100 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
As someone in the comments pointed out, the Onan bit is often taught as the Biblical prohibition against ************* Or, as Monty Python said, "Every sperm is sacred".
I could probably come up with at least another half-dozen verses like the ones listed. I've already quoted a couple times before the passage from Lamentations in which mothers are forced to cook and eat their own children. On the topic of circumcision, there's a good bit where one of the Biblical leaders (Joshua maybe?) tells a city that they may be spared if they agree to be circumsized as the Lord commands. They comply and, the next day while they are all still in pain, the leader goes in and kills them all.
Crap, now I need to look it up.
I could probably come up with at least another half-dozen verses like the ones listed. I've already quoted a couple times before the passage from Lamentations in which mothers are forced to cook and eat their own children. On the topic of circumcision, there's a good bit where one of the Biblical leaders (Joshua maybe?) tells a city that they may be spared if they agree to be circumsized as the Lord commands. They comply and, the next day while they are all still in pain, the leader goes in and kills them all.
Crap, now I need to look it up.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Genesis 34:22-25 wrote:
"But the men will consent to live with us as one people only on the condition that our males be circumcised, as they themselves are. Won't their livestock, their property and all their other animals become ours? So let us give our consent to them, and they will settle among us."
All the men who went out of the city gate agreed with Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male in the city was circumcised.
Three days later, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob's sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male.
All the men who went out of the city gate agreed with Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male in the city was circumcised.
Three days later, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob's sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah's brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
That scene is described movingly in the book The Red Tent. Really good read.
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
Link to site that has flash story involving the Elisha story. Probably not safe for work
Bode - 100 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
The first brownie!
Quote:
27 When the time of her labor came, there were twins in her womb. 28 And when she was in labor, one put out a hand, and the midwife took and tied a scarlet thread on his hand, saying, “This one came out first.†29 But as he drew back his hand, behold, his brother came out. And she said, “What a breach you have made for yourself!†Therefore his name was called Perez.
Speaking of Brownies, there's an interesting understanding of genetics in Genesis where Jacob makes a deal to tend to some guy's flock in return for any striped or spotted lambs who are born. The guy agrees and Jacob notches white spots onto a dark piece of wood and sets it where the sheep mate. The female sheep apparently see the white spots as they mate and give birth to spotted lambs.
I'm sure it made sense when they wrote it.
I'm sure it made sense when they wrote it.
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
bodhisattva wrote:
Link to site that has flash story involving the Elisha story. Probably not safe for work
There is also the Brick Testament. Probably more work safe.*
*May contain some lego people in the nude.
There's more wacky stuff in religions... in the Talmud, marriage of a Jew to a Gentile is equated to Bestiality. The Talmud also states to slaughter gentiles as beasts.
There's some cool stuff though in religion.. reading the Quran's end of times story is like reading a comic book crossover of all the Judeochristian religions, Jesus is there, God is there, there's a super villian, mass genocide, etc. Its got something for everyone!
There's some cool stuff though in religion.. reading the Quran's end of times story is like reading a comic book crossover of all the Judeochristian religions, Jesus is there, God is there, there's a super villian, mass genocide, etc. Its got something for everyone!
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