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Editor's Note: It's been a slow day at the office

Hello and welcome again to the 2006 Annual Asylum Awards. Due to time constraints and popular demand, we have eliminated some legacy categories such as "Most Knowledgable about EQ" and "Most Helpful". But we have a lot of awards to get through tonight, so let's get started. The judges would like to remind the audience that, due to strict Academy rules regarding nepotism, we will not be able to give awards to family members or significant others. But enough legal talk.

Best Newcomer - A forum is only as good as its members and, as some old faces drop off, new people emerge. In the 2006 year, no one made quite the same splash as Barkingturtle. His creepy, in your face attitude was a consistant reminder of both his presence and his desire to watch lesbian midget bestiality ****.

Poster With the Least Brain Cells - Every year, the people of Forum=4 read thousands of barely intelligible gibberish. Rarely, one's depth of inanity transcends their mental retardation and forms a swirling maelstrom of incoherence and illiteracy from which there is no exscape. This event can be the only explanation for Meliana and this thread.

Best Thread - Imagine a story told about a psychopathic woman, obsessed with a forum admin and trying desperately to pin him for a crime he didn't commit. Imagine if this woman became so obsessed that she degenerated into making up imaginary friends and started asking them for legal advice. Such was Kaolin, a thread which introduced us to cyber-bullies, imaginary lawyers and branded one woman as a complete idiot forever.

Worst Sock Puppet - It seems only fitting in a sense that this award should go to one known for his legions of sockpuppets. After making his way through identity after identity, one can only picture the excited joy Skeet felt at gaining access to the account of his mentor, Thundra. And how, hours later, his identity was already blown and the two names became synonymous for mediocrity.

Best Arch Nemesis Pair - In reality, this category should be called "Who's arguing with Gbaji this year?" but we find ourselves slaves to tradition. Anyway, after years of watching Smash, Tricky, Samira and others fight the good fight, a new contestant has stepped up, one able to occassionally match the Master of Spin & Verbage in sheer weight of words. Congratulations go to Ambrya & Gbaji and the gay marriage, birth control and abortion debates which made it all possible.

Best Flamer - Best Flamer is always a difficult category, partially because we've seen so much from the usual heavyweights that familiarity breeds contempt. There were a couple potential contenders this years but, in the end, the Academy decided on MoebiusLord who has been posting less but still manages to masterfully spew contempt upon the hapless often enough to gain our attention.

Funniest Poster - A lot of people try to be witty or amusing on the boards and, to a greater or lesser extent, some even succeed. However, the usual bathroom and sexual innuendo humor only go so far and sometimes something drier is called for. This year, for the category of "Funniest Poster", we have chosen a dark horse candidate and give the award to Trickybeck for a year's worth of off-handed insults and slights comments which have often elicted a smile or even a laugh.

Most Knowledgable - Forum=4 is often a place of great debate and it is difficult to tell the facts from the assumptions and spin. A select few posters can be trusted to know their facts before they get started and to be able to support their arguments with cites and reasonable logic. Of these users, we would like to single out Bodhisattva this year for being a light tower of erudition in a sea of drooling mouth-breathers.

Board Lifetime Achievement Award - When Kaolian became an admin, it was considered a logical next step for the man who had spent so much time on the forums helping others, troubleshooting and basically acting as junior admin. However, it was considerably more of a suprise to Exodus raised to administrative heights this past year, riding a tide of botted gold, gil and platinum to pull down a steady paycheck at Allakhazam LLC. Congratulations to Exodus for dinging that mythical level 100, getting his epic and gaining the ability to karma bomb me.

Favorite Poster - For the golden category of "Favorite Poster" this year, we would like to honor someone who has been around since the beginning but who has yet to gain this title. Some who has shown intelligence, wit and a level of rational insight which leaves us with a respect for their thoughts and opinions even when we disagree. For this year, the Academy would like to congratulate Samira as our 2006 "Favorite Poster".

Well, that's all the time we have for now. We'd like to thank our winners again and everyone who contributed to this year in Asylum history. Cue music and I'll see you at the after-parties.

You like me! You really like me!!!

okay, maybe not, but it was a nice fantasy...

Aww. /kicks the ground

Clearly the best End of the Year Awards thread to date.

It must have been awhile since we did one of these, you douche bags don't realise you are supposed to post your own version of the list (and consequently let the OP know he don't know ****, come on this is the Asylum dumbasses).

Oh. I don't vote anymore. All the good posters left.

If gbaji has taught us anything knowing stuff doesnt make you suck less.

I haven't made a drama/goodbye/flame thread for a couple months now and I am trying to cut the bullsh'it. Bear with me.

It's hard to argue with that... especially since it's true.

I didn't win anything...why bother?

:D

Nexa

You're just trying to get me to post more frequently aren't you.



Sigh...as usual I nominate Joph for every award this year, particularly "Traveled the least distance to get here."

I was really hoping for Best French Poster of the Year Award. This contest is blatantly rigged.

Still, I'd like to nominate Samira for Red's Favourite Poster of the Year Award


In other news, I have a bit of a cold today. Still, I took the tube with my girlfriend this morning, and she said something amusing. I emitted a little laugh, and some snot fell out of my nose and landed on her handbag.

She took it well though.

OK, fess up. Exo was blowing everyone at the Boston event, wasn't he? I mean, it's obvious now. Did you brick in his mouth too?

Edited, Dec 5th 2006 5:12am by Kakar

My favorite troll=Totem. He's my first, last, everything.