Maybe with age comes wisdom. I have come to the conclusion I am happiest when I'm drinking, eating, and ********. With this in mind I will begin drinking as much and as often as possible. I recently became confused in this mid-life crisis era and I was running, watching my diet, trying to lose weight-- doing all that stuff that supposed to make you live a long time. It has made me miserable. The saying, "Don't you want to see your grandkids?" is pure D bullsh1t.
I have re-tooled my life with the expectancy of living to 55, so anything after that is a bonus. I'm going out in style and having fun.
I started this morning by sleeping in. The Mrs. asked, "Totem, arent you going running?" I peeked out from under the covers and looked outside. It was cold and windy and decided to make a big a$$ Bloody Mary, followed by two more after that. Suddenly life felt better and I was laughing at crap I used to think and ponder about as I made my way outdoors to go jog. With that major decision taken I grabbed the keys to the family Buick and unsteadily headed out the door to McDonalds. I slammed down two sausage McMuffins with egg and will crack my first brewski long before noon.
You see, I figured out I am happiest when I'm drinking and eating-- and these events bring you closer to the opportunities of *******, my experience has told me.
So as far as "seeing my grandkids," if I'm here, I'm here and so be it, but no way in hell will I be instrumental in helping raise them. I did enough of that crap with my own two kids. Instead I will drunkenly dandle them on my knee while balancing a Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger in one hand and something with alcohol in the other. And all them health freaks better stay out of my way.
Who's with me?!?
Totem