Trust me, I'm gettin' lit. I called my business partner back home a little bit ago and he informed that one of the units in our four-plex caught fire last night and the entire place was damaged by smoke. I'm not drinking because I'm bummed the folks living there have to move or because of the cost of repairs, since we have insurance for that kind of stuff, I'm drinking in celebration that I'm a thousand miles away and he's stuck dealing with it!
And the sheep will wait all night, because it's fUcking raining tonight and wet wool is not as sexy as you'd think.
Edited, Oct 18th 2006 at 6:34pm PDT by Barkingturtle
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Any goats around? How did the unit catch on fire? Something negligent or a genuine accident?I've got two castrated goats here, they've got a special name but with no nuts I'll be damned if it warrants remembering. The cause of the fire is still under investigation, as the tenants weren't home at the time, but I doubt it was a meth lab. It better not have been a meth lab.
Quote:
And the sheep will wait all night, because it's ******* raining tonight and wet wool is not as sexy as you'd think.
<------
Maybe it was a meth lab on a timer? 
When I was feeding the sheep this morning I made a little mistake. The little buggers all clamor up to the fence when they see me coming with the food bucket, so I take an extra scoop of whatever the hell I'm feeding them with me to pour on the ground as a distraction, and then I quickly dump the bucket away from them. Today one of the little sheep-sheeps was too quick and quite wily, and it called my bluff and I ended up dumping about half a bucket of feed on its back. Their wool is thick, as you might imagine, and the little kernels of food stuff quickly become embedded, so all day long the other sheep are nuzzling their little mouths against the food-bearing sheep, trying to get that extra little bit of yum.
So if I do fUck one of them tonight, it won't be that one, because it's already had enough attention today. Share the rod spoil the sheep, or something.
Edited, Oct 18th 2006 at 6:45pm PDT by Barkingturtle
So if I do fUck one of them tonight, it won't be that one, because it's already had enough attention today. Share the rod spoil the sheep, or something.
Edited, Oct 18th 2006 at 6:45pm PDT by Barkingturtle
BT outsmarted by a lowly sheep 
Will wonders never cease?
Will wonders never cease?Brill wrote:
BT distracted by the fruitless effort of trying to locate the lowly sheep's ****** using nothing but his eyes. You've got to get in there and feel for it, hidden beneath its musty wool barrier. Will wonders never cease?
Will wonders never cease?I know, I'm an amateur.
I still lol'ed.
The trick with the sheep is simple. You get one in a small pen, and chain up the dog just outside but real close to the pen. This makes the ewe nervous, but she won't turn away from the dog, so she just backs up as far as she can go. So then you get behind her, insert your business, and they keep backing up to stay away from the dog. It takes all the work out of it.
Of course, then you have to deal with the dog staring at you, just knowing it's thinking "You sick *******."
Of course, then you have to deal with the dog staring at you, just knowing it's thinking "You sick *******."
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Kakar wrote:
The trick with the sheep is simple. You get one in a small pen, and chain up the dog just outside but real close to the pen. This makes the ewe nervous, but she won't turn away from the dog, so she just backs up as far as she can go. So then you get behind her, insert your business, and they keep backing up to stay away from the dog. It takes all the work out of it.
Of course, then you have to deal with the dog staring at you, just knowing it's thinking "You sick *******."
Of course, then you have to deal with the dog staring at you, just knowing it's thinking "You sick *******."
FUckin' A', Kak. Thanks!
Atomicflea wrote:
I wish the Bears colors weren't so ugly.
Become a San Diego Chargers fan. We have what many feel are the spiffiest uniforms in all of pro sports, although we ware them one a year or so (powder blue throwbacks). And this year we're actually a decent team.
yossarian wrote:
Atomicflea wrote:
I wish the Bears colors weren't so ugly.
Become a San Diego Chargers fan. We have what many feel are the spiffiest uniforms in all of pro sports, although we ware them one a year or so (powder blue throwbacks). And this year we're actually a decent team.
BLACK AND GOLD, *****! DAT'S WHERE ITS AT!
Smasharoo wrote:
The Bears are possibly the worst team to start 5-0 in the history of the league.
Oh wait, sorry. Indy. The Bears are possibly the second worst team to start 5-0 in the history of the legue. They'll lose in the NFC title game and people in Chicago can go back to talking about how Pinnela will lead the Cubs to another third place season while the Patriots win another Super Bowl.
Oh wait, sorry. Indy. The Bears are possibly the second worst team to start 5-0 in the history of the legue. They'll lose in the NFC title game and people in Chicago can go back to talking about how Pinnela will lead the Cubs to another third place season while the Patriots win another Super Bowl.
I'm honestly worried about playing New England. It's the last of three back-to-back road games, with the first two against the New York calamity (Jets and Giants). Three games on the road is never fun, and the Pats are always a decent team. If Rex doesn't find his rhythm over the bye week, the Bears will be in deep **** come November.
But realistically, the Bears will probably still be undefeated up to that point. 49ers up next, before the East Coast tour. They almost lost to Arizona, though, so I'm not holding my breath.
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
I like the bears colors the blue and orange isn't a bad combo. Their road jerseys are pretty sweet too.
Well I want to see the bears go all the way being a bears fan myself. But if I have to hear anymore about the '85 bears I think I may have to shoot myself. If we win people will say just like the '85 bears, if we lose people will say I miss the '85 bears. Get over it already, it was 21 years ago.
Well I want to see the bears go all the way being a bears fan myself. But if I have to hear anymore about the '85 bears I think I may have to shoot myself. If we win people will say just like the '85 bears, if we lose people will say I miss the '85 bears. Get over it already, it was 21 years ago.
What about those Bears? The '85 bears were the best. I mean who could beat that '85 bears team. Not even Chuck Norris I imagine.
Anyone else feel the sudden urge to pay hommage to the '85 bears?
On another note, I hear you can get great deals on guns at this website. I know the '85 bears would take advantage of such a great web site.
Anyone else feel the sudden urge to pay hommage to the '85 bears?
On another note, I hear you can get great deals on guns at this website. I know the '85 bears would take advantage of such a great web site.
I rethought shooting myself, maybe I'll go stub my toe. Got any websites for that?
Heh, shouldnt have even been a game. Bad coaching on Arizona's part, for the second week in a row.
LtGoose wrote:
Bad coaching on Chicago's part.
Fixed for accuracy.
Jophiel wrote:
I managed to be both retarded and entertaining.
Eldy wrote:
What about those Bears? The '85 bears were the best. I mean who could beat that '85 bears team.
Try Dan Marino and the Doplhins.
People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome. ~River Tam
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