What is going on here? What is the deal? I definitely picked the wrong line. I picked the wrong line. ****, I should move. What is taking so long? I should move. Double ****, someone’s behind me now. I can’t exactly move now.
Are you freaking kidding me? A check? You’re paying with a check? They still make those things? Who pays with a check? What is your major malfunction?!? Ugh.
/sigh
What is the problem now? Exactly how much information does the checkout girl need to write on that check? She has been writing for at least a solid minute now, maybe two. Driver’s license number, date of birth, mother’s maiden name, city of birth, favorite reality show, opinion on medicare reform, what the **** else is there to write on that check? Are you practicing a 5 paragraph essay? You cannot be serious.
Ah, finally done. Let’s see if Telecheck earns its keep. Okay, done. Move along, dumba$$. Go. Just go.
ARE YOU FRICKING KIDDING ME? SHE’S GOT THE SECOND HALF OF HER GROCERIES SHE'S BUYING NOW!! SHE’S PAYING USING A DIFFERENT METHOD. SHE IS SWIPING SOMETHING NOW AND, SURPRISE SURPRISE, THE GROCERY STORE CARD SLIDER BEFUDDLES HER. ARE YOU FREAKIIIIIIIIING KIDDING ME?
Who buys groceries in two installments? What is going on here? Who can I complain to about this? What can I do besides sigh loudly and exhibit angry body language. WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS HERE?
Hey lady, you want to put that 2-liter bottle of soda on layaway? I’ve got all night, princess.
Whew. Okay. Calm down. She’s gone, finally. Things are moving along. Everything will be fine. The next guy looks reasonably competent. This should work well. Okay.
NOW YOU CAN’T FIGURE OUT THE CARD SLIDER EITHER? HAVE YOU NEVER USED A DEBIT CARD? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT? IT’S YOUR CARD, AFTER ALL — IS THIS THE FIRST TIME YOU’VE USED IT, SHERLOCK? HUH?
I am never going to the grocery store at 5:30 a.m. ever again.
Totem
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Checkout line stream of consciousnessFollow
Yay! I'm glad it's not just me who gets stuck behind numbnuts at the grocery store.
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Walmart after midnight is terrifying. I guess it's true what they say. The freaks come out at night.
Totem wrote:
Are you freaking kidding me? A check? You’re paying with a check? They still make those things? Who pays with a check?
Belkira wrote:
Wow. Regular ol' Joph fan club in here.
Cheque.
Bode - 100 Holy Paladin - Lightbringer
Word bre'er Totem. Word.
3 thoughts spring to mind.
1. When you stand in the "10 items or less" line and find yourself counting the items in the basket of the person in front, you need to get out more (but we've all done it)
2. I have yet to comprehend the look of surprise on the middle-aged biddy's face when the cashier says "That'll be $x and $c". . . Like after 50 fUcking years of shopping they'd forgotten that you have to pay for the ****!
3. Why do poor people take their kids to Walmart to smack 'em?
And another thing! (You've set me off now ToUtem)
I was at Manchester Airport a few months back (waiting on DF) and sneaked a crafty smoke behind a pillar.
A slack-jawed brain-donor cleaner stormed up to me, mop in hand, and tapped the "No Smoking" sign.
"Can't you read?" He said
I replied "Yep. That's why I'm not a fUcking airport cleaner"
3 thoughts spring to mind.
1. When you stand in the "10 items or less" line and find yourself counting the items in the basket of the person in front, you need to get out more (but we've all done it)
2. I have yet to comprehend the look of surprise on the middle-aged biddy's face when the cashier says "That'll be $x and $c". . . Like after 50 fUcking years of shopping they'd forgotten that you have to pay for the ****!
3. Why do poor people take their kids to Walmart to smack 'em?
And another thing! (You've set me off now ToUtem)
I was at Manchester Airport a few months back (waiting on DF) and sneaked a crafty smoke behind a pillar.
A slack-jawed brain-donor cleaner stormed up to me, mop in hand, and tapped the "No Smoking" sign.
"Can't you read?" He said
I replied "Yep. That's why I'm not a fUcking airport cleaner"
"I started out with nothin' and I still got most of it left" - Seasick Steve
Lol, RACK it, Nobs. Nothing-- or at least very few things --are more satisfying than jamming your thumb in the Establishment's collective eye. Parking in cripple slots is my personal favorite. I mean, how many lames all go shopping at the same time? They don't need all them spots. And wouldn't the exercise from walking/rolling/stumbling/crawling across the parking lot do them some good?
And gbaji, if I ever see you I will fight you.
Totem
And gbaji, if I ever see you I will fight you.
Totem
Totem wrote:
And gbaji, if I ever see you I will fight you.
Totem
CRIPPLE FIGHT!
Get back to work and bus my table, Messican.
Totem
Totem
I don't write checks at the damn grocery store...
I write checks to pay bills and when making purchases over 500 or so dollars (like when buying an expensive appliance, or paying for major work on my car). Didn't think it was such an unusual behavior. You kids today! (/em waves cane...).
The one that I love is when people get into the grocery lane, wait until they get to the front. Wait until their stuff is tallied up. And *then* start figuring out how they're going to pay for it. Um... What did you think was going to happen when you got up to the front of the line? Magical faries would appear?
Also kills me when people spend 15 minutes min/maxing their coupon use while standing at the checkout line. I understand why people use coupons. I can't even fault them for it. I personally think my time is more valuable then the 10 bucks I might save on my groceries, but if that's how you like to spend your time, then by all means go ahead. But if you're going to do that, could you maybe put on a special vest like the people wear when they're working as a crossing guard or something (the bright orange ones), with the words "Coupon User" in big letters, so the rest of us know in advance to not get in line behind you...?
Just a thought.
I write checks to pay bills and when making purchases over 500 or so dollars (like when buying an expensive appliance, or paying for major work on my car). Didn't think it was such an unusual behavior. You kids today! (/em waves cane...).
The one that I love is when people get into the grocery lane, wait until they get to the front. Wait until their stuff is tallied up. And *then* start figuring out how they're going to pay for it. Um... What did you think was going to happen when you got up to the front of the line? Magical faries would appear?
Also kills me when people spend 15 minutes min/maxing their coupon use while standing at the checkout line. I understand why people use coupons. I can't even fault them for it. I personally think my time is more valuable then the 10 bucks I might save on my groceries, but if that's how you like to spend your time, then by all means go ahead. But if you're going to do that, could you maybe put on a special vest like the people wear when they're working as a crossing guard or something (the bright orange ones), with the words "Coupon User" in big letters, so the rest of us know in advance to not get in line behind you...?
Just a thought.
King Nobby wrote:
More words please
I have no tolerance for stupidity. Thus the checkout line anywhere, produces enourmous amounts of stress as I try to restrain myself from doing my part for natural selection.
The difference between myself and Totem in this case, is that while he merely thinks the thoughts listed in his 'stream of conciousness', I will actually say them. And I don't mumble. I pride myself on speaking clearly and with a voice like James Earl Jones, it carries.
I have to admit that things are not usually too terrible in the stores where I live. People here have pretty much latched on to the idea of debit cards and most transactions are carried out in a matter of seconds. This is not the case when my wife and I visit her relatives back in Wisconsin. In Wisconsin, everyon still pays for everything with a check. They seem to enjoy the whole long, drawn out relationship between check out clerk and customer that writing a check entails. The customers don't even bother pulling out their checkbooks until everything has been scanned, rung up, weighed and bagged. Then the inquiries into each other's health starts. It just warms my heart.
On the coupon front, a well-organized coupon user is not a problem. My wife is such (she's German ya know... well trained and highly organized). She's got it down to a science. Long before she reaches the check out line she has all the necessary coupons for the items she's buying in hand, and only coupons for the items she's buying. Typically she knocks about 40% off the grocery bill.
The difference between myself and Totem in this case, is that while he merely thinks the thoughts listed in his 'stream of conciousness', I will actually say them. And I don't mumble. I pride myself on speaking clearly and with a voice like James Earl Jones, it carries.
I have to admit that things are not usually too terrible in the stores where I live. People here have pretty much latched on to the idea of debit cards and most transactions are carried out in a matter of seconds. This is not the case when my wife and I visit her relatives back in Wisconsin. In Wisconsin, everyon still pays for everything with a check. They seem to enjoy the whole long, drawn out relationship between check out clerk and customer that writing a check entails. The customers don't even bother pulling out their checkbooks until everything has been scanned, rung up, weighed and bagged. Then the inquiries into each other's health starts. It just warms my heart.
On the coupon front, a well-organized coupon user is not a problem. My wife is such (she's German ya know... well trained and highly organized). She's got it down to a science. Long before she reaches the check out line she has all the necessary coupons for the items she's buying in hand, and only coupons for the items she's buying. Typically she knocks about 40% off the grocery bill.
Totem wrote:
Parking in cripple slots is my personal favorite
Some Seinfeld episode comes to mind.
Anyway, Totem, let me reassure you that Parking Spaces are so much better in France (we even capitalise those letters!), and that had this incident occured in this beautiful country of ours, superior in innumerable ways to any other in the world, it would've been dealt with swiflty and efficiently. A special counter would've been opened specially for you, some hot girl would've taken care of taking your groceries out of your shopping basket and putting onto the till, and while you puffed on the Cuban cigar given to you for waiting in line, she would've blown your dang while the Spice girl sang "the Totem Song" accapela.
Ah well, shame you don't live in the greatest country in the world.
RedPhoenixxxxxx wrote:
it would've been dealt with swiflty and efficiently.
With a glove slap across the face?
The thumbing of teeth?
Guillotine?
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Tare wrote:
RedPhoenixxxxxx wrote:
it would've been dealt with swiflty and efficiently.
With a glove slap across the face?
The thumbing of teeth?
Guillotine?
A look of infinite disgust and a turned back?
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
I hate shopping, especially at grocery stores. If it wasn't for this annoying need to eat, I'd refuse to do it.
If they ever come up with a service here where you can order your groceries on-line and have it delivered, I'll be their first regular customer.
If they ever come up with a service here where you can order your groceries on-line and have it delivered, I'll be their first regular customer.
Some people are like slinkies, they aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.
Samira wrote:
Tare wrote:
RedPhoenixxxxxx wrote:
it would've been dealt with swiflty and efficiently.
With a glove slap across the face?
The thumbing of teeth?
Guillotine?
A look of infinite disgust and a turned back?
A twirl of the moustache?
What's bred in the bone will not out of the flesh.
Tare wrote:
Samira wrote:
Tare wrote:
RedPhoenixxxxxx wrote:
it would've been dealt with swiflty and efficiently.
With a glove slap across the face?
The thumbing of teeth?
Guillotine?
A look of infinite disgust and a turned back?
A twirl of the moustache?
A waving of the white flag and a strategic retreat to the underground bunker.
How about this one. I was kicked out of walmart (escorted out by to local police no less) b/c I asked, very politely I might add, someone who had two carts full of stuff to get out of the 10 items or less line. They started yelling at me. I never raised my voice, just asked them if they could read. The cashier said I was causing the trouble. Never shop at Walmart again!
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