Dating failure...Follow

That guy writes like the love child of Barkingturtle and Jophiel.

How does one write like a perverted liberal?

Damn, maybe you and Nobster should be dating!

(A) From what I've read on other boards, eHarmony rejections aren't all that uncommon. Don't ask me how they decide who makes the cut and who doesn't. I guess it probably helps to be vanilla.

(B) I heart Samira's sig.

...

I had the same dream. Dude!

Totem was probably outside, waiting to go pee.

You know I can't perform without the aroma of a urinal cake.

Edit: My bad, for some reason I thought you were tired of restrooms, but sure, Best Buy sounds dandy. Some reason, who am I kidding? I'm drinking again!

Edited, Oct 16th 2006 at 5:37pm PDT by Barkingturtle

In! (they have a whole aisle of computer hardware dedicated to me at the local best buy!)

video cards turn me on!

I had heard that Oregon has some meritable wine, and was thus compelled to sample the work of the fine denizens of this state. Seeing as I've been here a few weeks, and have but seven days remaining on my trip, it seemed a good time to fall off the wagon and help myself, after all. Tonight I drove the misaligned Ford pick-up I've been left with into Silverton and picked up a bottle of local Merlot and another of Shirazz. I know **** all about wine, but I figured one of these would make a fine accompniment to the roast I've had simmering in the crockpot all day with it's entourage of potatoes and carrots. I am not disappointed, and I am quite drunk.

Seeing as how I've already bared a bit of the husk I call a soul in this thread, I think I'll take this time to post my own personal ad.

I'm a twenty-six year old male originally from Lincoln, Nebraska, but currently residing in Colorado Springs in the shadow of the Rockies. I'm not tall at five foot seven, and I carry one hundred seventy-five pounds of rigid manliness. I work-out daily, and can bench-press my own weight. I have blonde hair and blue eyes, revealing my Norwegian heritage, and am a whiskey drinker, which I attribute to my Navajo side.

I am consistently the most intelligent person in the room, a fact that was embarassing when I was a teenage thug, and is these days something I try to reign in as to not make my contemporaries feel inferior. I scored 1465 on my SAT's nearly a decade ago, and was always in the ninety-ninth percentile on the old standardized tests, regardless of the subject.

I am a pisces, on the cusp of aquarius, so if you don't enjoy creativity and chaos I'm not the man for you. I enjoy many things metaphysical and spiritual, but am not religious, and am in fact more than a bit distrustful and hold a bit of contempt for religion, which I view as the catalyst of most of man's suffering and evil.

I enjoy all things outdoors and many things indoors. I am an avid camper and fisher, and I like hiking and bicycling. I am well read and I watch alot of movies, ranging from comedy to drama to cheesey horror flicks. I love to ravel and try new things. I will try anything twice, but you needn't worry, I've had my salad tossed and performed **** enough times to ease your worries.

I own a three bedroom condo which I live in alone these days and an investment property in the form of a four-plex of two bedroom apartments in Colorado Springs. I have several vehicles, among them a ninety-five LeBaron(the convertable), a 2004 Ford F350(the work truck) and a 1971 Chevelle Super Sport(the grocery getter). I aspire to purchase a thirty plus foot sailboat, and to someday make a crossing or two to see Norway and other things Euro.

I have most recently worked as an insurance agent, selling commercial products to companies like McDonald's and Anheiser Busch. I am on the cusp of having a six-figure income, but I am thoroughly disillusioned with selling fear.

Someday soon I will be a world-renowned fiction novelist, and in the meantime I am persuing a journalism degree as a safety valve, after having decided against obtaining a law degree and embarking on a career in litigation. I decided I would rather work from home and travel, and be with the family I hope to have.

In a mate I am looking for a woman capable of appreciating the simple things. I want children, plural, and I want to see them flourish and I want to be as involved as they need. I want a woman who reads, and an artist wouldn't be bad, at all. Physically, I ask that you can keep up with me, but I am unconcerned with breast size, or other trappings of modern beauty. I am entirely open with regards to race, but I do find myself more often than not attracted to brunettes or redheads. I assume this is because I have the blonde hair/blue eyes thing covered, and subconciously seek an expansion of my gene-pool.

Most important, I want someone who is honest and modest, someone who with a stellar wit and can take a joke as well as give one.Perhaps someone from a troubled past, so you can appreciate what it is to defy generations of failure.

I am willing to relocate, over the protests of Mother, who resides in Colorado Springs, for the right lady and the right situation.

If you are interested, please PM me, or, better yet, post in this therad so everyone can make fun of you.

At my local Best Buy I get a "Personal shopper," a guy that stands at the end of every aisle I'm in to make sure I don't steal anything.

I am not opposed to raising another man's children, so long as he's either dead or a meth-addict. For you, though, I suppose I could make an exception, or I could perform an execution, the choice is yours.




Here in the states? Or are you trying to lure me into a people smuggling thing? Because I'm up for that.

It's sort of sad when you have your mid-life crisis at twenty-four, but you've made it all worthwhile. Before I was blessed with my cat, that car was my baby, these days it's just another reminder that if I don't start reproducing soon I won't be able to play catch with my son. I used to throw a ninety mile per hour fastball, and now I can toss the ball with this dog for thirty minutes and I have fluid accumulating on my elbow. Oh, I'm done with the wine and have moved on to the scotch, which makes me a bit introspective, my bad.

It's red with white racing stripes, btw.

Remind me in a week when I get home and I'll take some, but don't expect me to remember much from tonight.