It's better than anything you could imagine. No, I haven't really been touring Asia with John Mark Carr, I'm on a working vacation.
I have flown to the state of Oregon to take care of my father's ranch while he's away. I am charged with the well-being of twenty german shephards and half a dozen sheep. The sheep have creepy little eyes that make me glad they haven't evolved to the point where face-to-face intercourse can occur.
Rural Oregon is quite nice, and I spent the last week and a half or so alternating between familiarizing the dogs with myself and camping and canoeing. This was all while my dad's still been around, so I wasn't tethered to the ranch. I also wasn't fUcking the sheep as much.
One thing rural Oregon is lacking, though, is whores. Anyone live in Oregon can tell me a good place to score some tang in exchange for cash? I'm near Silverton, but don't want to go as far as Salem, because whores aren't too bright and I'm afraid they'd have trouble getting home on their own. I guess I could always just feed them to the dogs.
One more thing, I only like Asian whores. And black ones. Oooh, Latinas, too. OMG I almost forgot white chicks. And...